Saturday, June 5, 2010

The Jizz Singer

Sometimes, the douche is so strong, no hot chick is possible to save the vortex of suckage. Not even when doing the cel phone bathroom mirror portrait.

The Jizz Singer is just that moment.

We, as a society, have failed.

# posted by douchebag1
3:02 pm June, 5 Crucial Head said...

Closet of Poo, meet The Jizz Singer.

.

Jizz Singer, meet The Closet of Poo.

3:04 pm June, 5 Crucial Head said...

I know this is called Hot Chicks with Douchebags and all, but when did we start posting pics of fecal logs being birthed from a Snow Leopard’s hoo-haw?

.

I quit.

3:08 pm June, 5 douchesquire said...

To the closet, asshat. I need another beer and an eyewash.

3:21 pm June, 5 Bagnonymous said...

Because I find the Jizz Singer repulsive, and because there’s no hott in the picture, I’m thiiiis close to writing DB1 and falsely (yet anonymously) claiming “I’m in that picture–take it down.”

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But turning a blind eye to douche just becuase it is visually repulsive will not solve our problem. We must mock. And hope that next Friday brings more ass pear.

3:25 pm June, 5 creature said...

United Culos of Bendoverton

3:25 pm June, 5 Douchie Howser M.D. said...

Most of the deceased I’ve autopsied have had skin of a more natural hue than this guy.

He’s begging for a vivisection.

3:27 pm June, 5 creature said...

dipping yourself in an Andy Gump to look tan is never a good idea… Jizz Singer hep C is in your future

3:42 pm June, 5 Baron Von Goolo said...

“The Jizz Singer.” HA!!!!!!

.

I can see him now.

“Mamm’reez! How I love ya, how I love ya, my dear ol’ mammreez!”

3:48 pm June, 5 Martin said...

A purging is imminent. No douche will be spared.

4:20 pm June, 5 doucheintheheartoftexas said...

Ladies and Gentlemen: MR. BEN VEREEN!

4:21 pm June, 5 doucheintheheartoftexas said...

He was born a poor white child.

4:26 pm June, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

What fuccken colour is the dude in the mirror picture? Blue man group I think.

And the Jizz singer must go to the closet of poo. That colour is also inexplicable.

4:29 pm June, 5 John Howard Griffin said...

you’re doing it wrong.

4:36 pm June, 5 Bag Margera said...

Now I’m completely interested in what neighbourhood this poonis hangs out in, and how the locals of that neighbourhood allow such racism/race treason/delusion/smell to continue with out a shooting/lynching/gang rape/push into a septic system to occur.

4:38 pm June, 5 Bag Margera said...

Even mammy miami would look at him and be like “dude… that’s a little racist, don’t ya think?”

4:39 pm June, 5 Wheezer said...

Michael Jackson’s ghost just shivered and said, “Damn, I coulda left the bleaching cream alone.”

4:42 pm June, 5 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Kill It!!!!!

-

-

-

Kill it NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:51 pm June, 5 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

Huh that’s just…huh? Do you think he got up in the morning and thought “I think I’m going to paint myself shit brown today, the ladies will love it”? Or does including thought in the scenario make that impossible because, well come on.

4:56 pm June, 5 Dicy said...

I’m all for a healthy glow but damn! This is extra gross. We deserve an ass pear for this cruelty…

5:02 pm June, 5 scrotum pole said...

After bravely volunteering to act as the human plug for the Gulf oil leak, Johnny is undaunted by the failure, and spends the weekend recovering in his Baton Rouge apartment..

5:15 pm June, 5 Vin Douchal said...

I used SPF 30 today out in the blazing SoCal sunshine. After seeing this I’m moving up to SPF 30,000

5:26 pm June, 5 Vin Douchal said...

If you flushed a shit, a goldfish and a monkey fetus down the toilet and they miraculously melded together and came to life , this idiot is what would float out of the sewer tank

5:27 pm June, 5 Whoop-di-douche said...

Ok…I was gonna suggest this fellow is a natural Black, but no, it has to be the fake-tan. Even I’m confused.

But when he goes so far as to imitateadorable li’l pickaninny hair with the spikes, I’m dumbfounded.

And then he rolls the dice with a die-tie shirt, well….pass me a Mai Tai. It;s hot and it’s humid and I need tropic splendor in a glass, not a jizz-master.

5:29 pm June, 5 Whoop-di-douche said...

Even if it is a hoodie with blue and white dice all over it, I like the Japanese illusion and allusion he creates by wearing it.

So does Samurai Scrote.

5:50 pm June, 5 Comex_Preacher said...

haha the Jizz singer is hilarious! and i love how the dice top shows how he “rolls”, This reminds me of another pic on facebook i saw like this except with a skankette in the pic too,

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=38004&id=100000557786241

5:51 pm June, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

C’mon, this guy works at the zoo. No one else volunteered so they made him the head elephant rectal examiner. Why just last week he found three polyps in the biggest bull elephant’s colon. And then he excised them using only his teeth.

.

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Posting from home without avatar. Stoopid WordPress.

5:52 pm June, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ @ myself

.

OK WordPress is smarter than me. Go figure.

6:31 pm June, 5 fatness said...

Good lord. I haven’t seen a muck jumper like him in over 30 years.

6:58 pm June, 5 scrotum pole said...

Vin 5:26,

I tried it, and that damn monkey fetus plugged up my toilet.

Thanks a lot.

7:52 pm June, 5 creature said...

just clicked on the hall o’ mock links…. Peanut Fucking Ass Head! hilarious Boss!

8:00 pm June, 5 creature said...

^ cousin of Crucial Aloysius Head?

8:13 pm June, 5 doucheywallnuts said...

Can one photo qualify one to be in the Hall of Scrote? Wow, I’m gonna have bad dreams tonight.

8:39 pm June, 5 tall guy said...

This idiot is reason alone for the creation and subsequent development of an entirely new category of awfulness. HOS is too good for this guy, ditto Closet of Poo, nor could Hall of Mock possibly contain the input of comment from all the world’s right thinking men & women regarding his frightful appearance.

I propose something similar to The Douchie Award, except stand alone, where mere entry as a contender be restricted to the utmost example of douche. It’s getting so we’re going to need it soon enough anyway. I mean, the douche definitely isn’t backing down.

9:48 pm June, 5 Crucial Head said...

@Creatch,

.

It would be more than an honor to have ‘The Great Bald One’ counted amongst the C.A. Head clan. Alas, The Pfah are far too pale and far too hairless to fool even the most juvenile bouncers that guard my kingdom’s gates.

.

Instead, he hovers in the clouds like an emaciated, bespectacled Buddha – raising one eyebrow in unflinching response to each douche that is posted, and furrowing the other brow in an effort to glimpse ‘ghost nipples’ with each hott that is posted… all the while sharing mirthful guffaws with BCS, BMT, Ed, Plinky, Michelle Meats, and Wonky Donkey, while they watch Doc burn in Hell’s everlasting torment.

.

Pfah was no ‘baghunter, mi amigo. Nay, Pfah was a ‘baghunter’s ‘baghunter.

9:52 pm June, 5 Crucial Head said...

@Tall Guy,

.

I think the time has come for you to wear pull-ups like the rest of us and get a damn Gravitar. Get thee over to the Forum tab, look up Steve L’s thread where he provides the needed instruction, and adapt.

.

Your comments are far too funny to lack the eye candy of a retarded Gravitar like mine.

.

.

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@Whoop-Di-Douche,

.

You have been here waaaay too long for me to issue the same warning. You should know better by now…

10:21 pm June, 5 The Blessed Scrotini said...

I think we’ve gone into another category with this one. This dude wants to be black so much he actually tried to darken his skin… Instead he just looks like the ole douche standby of poo.

For future reference: No you cannot fucking do this shit!

11:52 pm June, 5 creature said...

@ Croosh

just miss Pfah, BCS, Plinky, Ed, Mitch Meats, etal…. but soldier on with the likes of DarkSock & the rest of y’all in the dregs of baghunting callouts… many stalwarts here, you know who y’all are… here’s to us & those like us… HURRRRRL!

12:01 am June, 6 Crucial Head said...

@Creatch,

.

Three walk-offs in a row by the Doyers… the Lake Show in command… Mike Watt ruling the internet airwaves… I love you man.

.

Plutonically oft corse.

12:45 am June, 6 Baleen said...

I think we need one of these:

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IrlhLF1c3k

12:54 am June, 6 Crocodile Dun Douche said...

Surely this is so close to blackface that someone can be sued. I mean seriously…

My face hurts now and I smell burnt toast. Is that from this pic or am I just having a stroke.

1:22 am June, 6 soy bomb said...

I never thought I’d live to see The End. Funny…I’d always imagined nuclear holocaust or something. Wow. Just wow.

2:00 am June, 6 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

I learned not to rub my own feces all over myself after going number two in the big boy potty many years ago. His mother has utterly failed him. But shit man, can you blame her? Vodka and valium is one hell of a morning tonic.

2:09 am June, 6 Euripidouche said...

the last pick in the last round of the last racial draft, the jizz singer is also the reigning “Mr. Irrelevant”

5:22 am June, 6 Scrote Douche-N-Harmony said...

I’m starting to get tired of these “Sammy Sosa before the skin cream” pictures.

5:36 am June, 6 Da Da Dooooschey said...

What. The. Fuck?

5:54 am June, 6 Steve L. said...

i don’t want to hear this turd sing, i can tell you that.

6:10 am June, 6 MoeDouche said...

Did he dip himself in a barrel of s*t?

6:36 am June, 6 Boodie said...

That is just plain repulsive, how can you look in the mirror and go ‘dayum I look hott’ .

And then go and inflict yourself on others.

6:39 am June, 6 Peter Ilyich Doucheovsky said...

MY EYES!!

OH, GOD, MY EYES!!!!

Excuse me while I lobotomize myself to erase this picture from my memory.

9:17 am June, 6 Business-Casual Douche said...

CLOSET OF POO. RIGHT NOW.

9:19 am June, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Wigger Please! That Poop Bag looks better than you.

10:14 am June, 6 boone doggle said...

thats two doods. one might say doo doo.

10:20 am June, 6 mr.reeve said...

@Vin 5:26

Holy shit man! That’s good stuff.

10:26 am June, 6 Tanath said...

pretty sure that “chick” in the bathroom mirror was a dude…

10:53 am June, 6 curbyourendouchiasm said...

Okay, so he looks like a kid ready to throw a tantrum…you know why?

The girl taking the picture told him how unnatural he looks, and he says, “no I don’t, I look good bitch…I look GOOD.”

His little balled up fists say it all.

10:57 am June, 6 Scroteophobic said...

Must have been watching too many cowboy things recently. I read the post title as the Jizz Slinger. Thought that the pose was a cock cowboy about to draw.

12:24 pm June, 6 Doo Schnozzle said...

Please, please, please someone Photoshop the color balance so my eyes hurt less.

Thank you.

12:29 pm June, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

There is no joy in Mudville.

1:11 pm June, 6 DarkSock said...

Clyde Turner, sole survivor of the Deepwater Horizon explosion.

.

.

.

.

Too Soon?

1:12 pm June, 6 DarkSock said...

Giuseppe Palermo: First Italian Astronaut to return from the manned mission to land on the Sun.

1:12 pm June, 6 DarkSock said...

“But…won’t you and the crew be burned alive?”

.

“STUPIDO! We gonna go at night!”

1:14 pm June, 6 DarkSock said...

“Whoever switched my baby oil with Hershey’s Syrup is going to be fuccen sorry”, Vinnie vowed silently to himself.

1:49 pm June, 6 DarkSock said...

Presenting the Ambassador from the Planet Mercury.

3:24 pm June, 6 End the Haberdouchery said...

Cut off the head, it’s the only way.

3:29 pm June, 6 Stephanie said...

What’s brown looks like a toilet brush and smells like shit?

4:09 pm June, 6 End the Haberdouchery said...

I am not a bum. I’m a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends and… uh… my thermos. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin’ on the porch with my family, singin’ and dancin’ down in Mississippi.

4:21 pm June, 6 DarkSock said...

Rick James called; he said “DARKNESS!”.

4:22 pm June, 6 Victor von Douche said...

I would suggest that it be killed with fire, but it looks like that’s already failed. Time to throw him out of a plane.

4:24 pm June, 6 End the Haberdouchery said...

Sock,

Fuck yo’ couch!

4:48 pm June, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He thinks he is going MMA. What a twat!

6:53 pm June, 6 creature said...

Douche, Well Done

6:54 pm June, 6 creature said...

Tar Booby

6:54 pm June, 6 creature said...

Black Sumbitch

6:55 pm June, 6 creature said...

Sambitch?

6:56 pm June, 6 creature said...

Char Baby

6:58 pm June, 6 creature said...

BuckWaste

7:02 pm June, 6 creature said...

Cockcausian

8:03 pm June, 6 Wedgie said...

Douchebag. Minus the hot chick.

Which begs the question, why is he in here?

9:04 pm June, 6 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

We’ve seen this peniswart before.

Somebody should photoshop someone interesting into this photo.

10:42 pm June, 6 lucious lupus john doesn't really want to know but is curious nonetheless said...

so how low can the gsr go before we see fishbelly white peaking through like a fruit of the loom waistband?

12:24 am June, 7 Sorta Damocles said...

This one is going to be a Douchie contender. You can just smell it and it reeks of fresh, steaming, sick dog crap. And thus Haiku….

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The Jizz Singer, yo!

Biomass only value

It’s wood chipper time!

2:09 am June, 7 tall guy said...

@ Crucial Head,

I added one, although it’s not showing here, but oddly, though unsurprisingly, it’s displayed elsewhere…

Anyway, i’ll persist. it’s an image of a cat: Tabitha. She’s in England. I was also there for a while.

2:51 am June, 7 The Right Honorable Member for, The Very Reverend Mother Her Duchal Serene Highness, Dr, Hortense Sussudio Fuckerfaster said...

mandingoombah!

fugayzi.

10:51 am June, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Don’t make fun of my Halloween costume! No one else thought about going as Mr. T’s enema nozzle.”

12:24 pm June, 7 Douchey the Great said...

Oh, man. Forget my eyes, I need some Soft Scrub applied directly to my brain. At least he’s in the Closet of Poo where he belongs.

9:04 pm June, 7 Dregon44 said...

I’ll just stand by this fence here, and launch these stones at that god forsaken creature. There are some people who just need an ass-whoopin!

7:21 am June, 8 Jessica said...

Holy shit what is that thing and what sludge creek did it crawl out of? Perhaps its been in the gulf. Seared by the sun and oily like the crap pouring into it.

8:18 am June, 8 my friends call me @$$hole said...

i don’t know wtf that is but i don’t trust it one bit

12:39 pm June, 8 black guy said...

It’s almost as though he’s doing a modern version of “black face”. I’m vaguely insulted but lmfao~

4:45 am March, 28 Mik said...

You fucking cock head,what’s with that fucking stupid tan

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