Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Hurley Luncherson
Hurley’s just so happy to have Amazonian Reese Witherspoon second tier Pear in his presence, I almost don’t want to mock the guy.
Then I realize Hat Tilt + Tribal Garish Tatt = mocktime, “happy to be there” or not.
Uh, boss, at best that is THIRD tier pear. Actually, it kind of looks like a bag of wet cement.
We must not get picky. The pear is everywhere on the site lately and I am appreciative for them. Thank you sir.
Garish, indeed. I have made that same pattern with a splashy eruption of diarreah on a Vegas hotel room bath mat.
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Looks like they’re busting out the Douchebag Macarena in the back there. Nice dancing, Capt’ns
don’t know about second tier, it looks wonderful……I’d sniff it.
It’s tough to judge side-ass pear, so I’ll withhold comment on that. But the fact that her face is as long as her thigh is creeping me right out…
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He is a steroid popping troglodyte.
She’s as jiggly and giggly as my old bat. And he has the first finished tat since. I will call him Stumpy McCellulitelover.
The bad news? The young lady is no Amazon, alas, she stands just 5’2″ tall.
And Hurley has puffed up his actual 4’5″ height with platform shoes.
By Ed Hardy.
I bet her butt jiggles nicely when spanked.
Early fave for the weekly.
His teeth are fake. Can’t see her boobs so no comment there.
Flat pear, nothin’ ripe or juicy or bouncy about it….
He spends as much whitening his teeth as he does working out in the club gym., and probably to bite into hard, unripened pears.
Nottapear…Looks like Rebecca Romijn after a few too many trips to the all-you-can-eat buffet.
ehhh i don’t know, first thought i had was this is probably the best she can look, not good.
He looks like he got kicked in the nads and both are now in his cheeks
DoucheyWallnuts…
So, you’re saying that IS Rebecca Romjin…
when a womans leg goes up and makes no definition of the start of an ass, thats a problem.
Looks like my ass, doesn’t look good on a dude either.
He on the other hand is a definite ass
I prefer to think she’s just pressing her pear against a pane of glass.
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Ironically, I prefer to think the douche has been halved by an industrial sized power saw, before his lifeless, bisected anatomy slides apart like two microscope slides sandwiching John Mayer’s Pap smear.
Boy you guys are picky for a bunch of basement dwellers.
Picky, but correct.
Hi, I’m very interested in Linux but Im a Super Newbie and I’m having trouble deciding on the right distribution for me (Havent you heard this a million times?) anyway here is my problem, I need a distribution that can switch between reading and writing in English and Japanese (Japanese Language Support) with out restarting the operating system.
Thanks Wedgie
but i prefer the term dungeon
Now onto more important things, weird pet names that seem to fit some of these Colonholes .
Pickle Von Corndog
Lord Chubby Pruneface
Badonkadonk
Ninjastar Dangerrock
Sargent Sausage
Fluffernutter
Snag L. Tooth
DB1 feel free to pilfer these, I certainly did
Hi Monica
Go to japan and stay there
The tag “Amazonian Reese Witherspoon” shoiuld win some kind of prize.
–VS
Just the fact that he thinks he’s cool -he’s a douche. He thinks he’s got it all figured out…large bright bleached teeth,large tattoos that he doesn’t even know why he got them,and the stupid hat and baseball pants….jeez.
The girl just doesn’t know what to wear…
Looking at this picture, l like Randy Newman just a little bit more today.
we should list teeth bleaching in the same ilk as the Groin Shave Reveal. no problem if the ladies bleach their teeth. but guys? autodouche.
yeah Stephanie stole my thunder.
You know why he’s smiling? Because after ten long years, Hurley here finally made the last payment on his Hyundai that he bought from Carmax. Yay!
She is Madonna-Whore Complex incarnate. She’ll pack my lunch; she’ll intussuscept my vasa deferentia.
Both would be welcome.
Derisive “jiggle” allusions betray unfamiliarity with coitus of duration greater than three minutes. Lengthier sessions require the leverage of a double-handed grab of pliable, ample ass.
is amazonian reese witherspoon related to ny times columnist and born-again christian conservative trustafarian ross douchehat’s (douthat) “chunkier reese witherspoon” a phrase you won’t regret googling….
its like approaching uber-douche from the opposite angle. but the douchiosity is exactly the same.
The position of Hurley’s left hand is typical of a person suffering from extreme hyperventilation. Maybe this is the first time that his douchey lifestyle has actually paid off, and he is so excited that his body has gone from douchestain to medical condition.
I think this guy has been on the site before, but I would need Wheezer to verify.
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Y’all are pretty harsh in your judgment. I’d hit it.
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@ Steve L.
After my company changed insurance companies, I picked a new in-network dentist that offers free teeth-whitening for as long as I keep up my regular check-ups. I intend to take advantage of it, autodouche be damned.
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@ P Showard Chunt
Good stuff. That Ross Douthat is following a proud tradition of conservative closet cases.
Being willing to “hit it” does not make her automatically a Pear (Autopear). However, being classified as a Pear means one would “hit it.”
Using Aristotle’s logic, All Pear is hittable. Bleeth X is a Pear. Therefore, Bleeth X is hittable. However, all girls in thong bikinis are not Pears.
Hurley Wurley I like big girlies.
Her poops are bigger than him. Medical Fact.
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Her ass is flatter than BP’s denials.
Hurley’s ecsatatic because he’s got two big fleshy-colored balls floating just above his head. This happens a lot, actually, but he loves it every time.
Her ass is flatter than Nebraska paved over.
Her ass is flatter than Ann Coulter sleeping face down on a pane of glass.
^ ecstatic. fuck!
Her ass is flatter than Leonard Cohen covering “Welcome to the Jungle.”
Her ass is flatter than Barney Franks adenoids.
Her ass is so flat you need a funnel to pee in her butt.
Her ass is flatter than Gary Coleman’s heart monitor.
“Her ass is flatter than Barney Franks adenoids.”
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*tee-heeing like a school girl on a Sybian*
Her ass is flatter than eel scat dropped from a freeway overpass onto the surface of…erm….HER ass.
Her ass is so flat her poop looks like 35mm film.
Wow, a whole night went by and he is still short.
Hold on. Forty-four comments and not one of them are about the stool problems they have. I’m somewhat disappointed. But not as much as her father.
Also, you have to be this high to ride the bleeth pear.
her ass is so flat she can bang a door knob doggie style.
Her face is so long that she makes Chad Kroeger’s seem as small as Billy Barty’s.
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Her ass is so flat I watched my dog run away on it for three days.
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Her ass is optically flat.
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Her ass is flatter than the top of this douche’s head.
This douche looks like a ‘roided up version of the comedian Ant. He seems about as straight as Ant too.
I give him an honorary Happy Pass. Just this once, though.
Her ass is so flat you have to tilt your head sideways to hear her fart.
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What?
She has no cellulite at all. I think its hilarious how so many guys put down gorgeous, firm-bodied, youthful women when there is nothing wrong with them. Its stunning.
besides, SHE WOULD NEVER HAVE SEX WITH YOU
FUCK everyone here.
Only a true moron could be this happy in his condition. Is there some kind of douche Maslow Hierarchy of Needs? Red cup, goose, bleeth…
@Magdi – me first?
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