Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Unfinished Tatt Guy
UTG’s favorite classical composition is Schubert’s Unfinished Symphony.
UTG’s favorite videogame is “Half Life.”
When UTG commits to something, he promises to “give 50%.”
When UTG swears he won’t give up, he promises to “work at it 12/3.5.”
UTG signs all his postcards to friends and family by writing “Having a great time, wish.”
When someone sneezes, UTG says “God.”
Oh, Sandy. Your perfect lithe and taut stomach beckons my tongue to flickedy lick upon your ab muscles like a spastic oyster with lupus.
Or, put in a way that UTG would understand, “I would like to.”
This guy’s tatt might be unfinished, but I just looked at Sandy and finished. Twice.
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mmmmhhhhmmmmGGGAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
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…make that 3 times.
Possibly my favourite ever bio.
Mad Propz.
I wanna be UTG when I grow
UTG peed in a
UTG’s favorite version of the Mona Lisa.
UTG’s favorite furniture collection.
Finishing would not be a problem with Sandy.
I wonder what Sandy thinks of UTG’s half cock.
UTG’s favorite Chuck Norris joke:
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Chuck Norris is so strong.
Sandy gets UTG so horny that one of his balls turned blue.
UTG eats trees and shits out
UTG has never found out what’s inside a Tootsie Pop.
UTG thinks that Dark Sock Peed in
UTG lives in a halfway house.
UTG only got to second base.
UTG’s favorite sitcom character is the half man from Two and a Half Men.
UTG prefers unfinished pine furniture in his roofless house.
UTG always goes off half-cocked.
UTG’s favorite rock band is AC.
UTG thinks the glass is half empty and half full.
UTG never misses a half-off sale, especially at tattoo studios.
UTG only drinks half and half.
UTG does everything half-assed (except his broheims).
UTG’s life expectancy is 37 years.
UTG tried to read Mr. Whites chapters on partial differentials.
UTG buys his Miller Lite by the half-barrel.
UTG has one testicle and his sperm can only swim sideways.
White’s*
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Do I get partial credit?
UTG’s eyesight is 20.
UTG drives a Dodge Stratus.
UTG never defrags his hard drive.
UTG can’t decide if he sees the glass half-empty or half-full.
Why wear pants when shorts will do just fine?
UTG lives in a halfway house.
When UTG dresses up, only the best Half-Windsor knot will do.
UTG usually only makes it halfway through an art museum, unless
Damien Hirst is showing.
Wheezer didn’t read Crucial’s 11:22 a.m. post…..UGH.
UTG prefers radius over circumference.
UTG likes ass solo.
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…wait…
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…think about it…
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THERE it is!
When UTG first saw Sandy, he was like, “DAMN! I’d break that girl into quarters.”
UTG pulls into the gas station and yells, “Don’t fill ‘er up!”
UTG has sweet grandstand tickets for this year’s Indy 250.
UTG designed Veg Armstrong’s arm-workout regimen.
Mmmmm, Sandy! She’s bouncy, perky and appears to be dosed-up for the day (i mean, look at her eyes & the Prozac smile). She also appears to be gymnastically flexible, by which I hope she’d invert her spine during her moments of ecstatic pleasure. I am imagining things. It is early morning here and I prepare myself for work in such ways. Forgive me, fellow douche mockers.
UTG ‘s favorite website ishalf.com/
Unfinished sandwich girl.
UTG’s favorite HoS members: Johnny, Joey, The Stereo, and (Fuck) Fish.
UTG was a wrestler in high school, but only learned and used the half-Nelson.
In regards to cutie pie Sandy, though, I can say unequivocally that I have a full-on chubby.
UTG leaves baseball games after the 7th-inning stretch.
UTG offered to go “halfsies” on dinner with Sandy.
UTG accidentally the whole
UTG is employed as a janitor at Robert Half Technology
UTG’s favorite NSFW comedy bit…..
UTG lives in a halfway house.
UTG only howls at half moons.
UTG’s favorite movie is Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
His friends would say UTG is half baked.
UTG’s resting body temperature is 49.3 F.
UTG only read the Old Testament.
UTG’s favorite band is Daryl Hall
UTG finished the Tour de France on a unicycle.
How much you wanna bet Sandy is half-Asian?
UTG’s favorite website is http://www.hotchicks. (Well, uh, I can’t fault him there…)
^ stupid automatic linking
This thread is half-assed
UTG has a frighteningly androgynous upper body…It’s almost as if he is a full-sized, pre-pubescent 12-year old of an undetermined sex. The lovely Sandy has a lovely lower abdomen and hip bone area, but is need of implants. Note to Sandy, don’t get UTG arrange for the procedure or you might just get one instead of a full pair.
UTG has the median IQ of 50.
UTG thinks Superbowl half time show is after the first quarter.
UTG wears contacts in one eye.
UTG play Texas Hold em with 4 cards.
He used to wear glasses, but they were a monocle.
UTG’s gal has unfinished fake tit surgery.
UTG has lots of half-baked ideas.
UTG eats just the INside of In ‘N Out burgers.
UTG has dangling participles.
UTG never removes his laundry from the washer.
UTG only dates half-sisters like Marie Osmond’s Sandy here..
UTG’s preferred classical music is Schubert’s Unfinished Symphony.
UTG played half-back back in the day.
UTG only reads half of the post here and then post the same thing someone already posted and still only gets it half right
@Whoop-di-douche 12:37
Good one
east coasters may not get that one
“in and out urge”
UTG stays in shape by running half marathons.
UTG found out it way too expensive to live in Half Moon Bay.
UTG still thinks “The Godfather” ends when Sonny gets gunned down at the toll booth.
UTG is feet tall.
UTG’s head imploded after he finished reading The Neverending Story.
Odd how a half-tatt still makes a whole-douchebag.
… and no, Sandy most definitely does not need a boob job. I’d choose small natural tits over overblown jelly-filled balloons any day! Especially, seeing that in this case everything else on this tasty hott looks absolutely delicious.
Anyone care to guess UTG’s favorite punctuation mark?
… except for that mound of choad right next to here
*her, that is
@ DB1
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Is it a semi-colon?
UTG lives in a halfway house,
UTG partially agrees with every comment in this thread.
UTG lives in a halfway house.
UTG graduated as a sophmore on high school.
UTG also thinks the glass is half empty AND half full!!!!!11!
UTG has a cracked winshield where the garage door keeps hitting it.
UTG only recycles paper.
UTG eats Kosher beef.
UTG’s favorite candy is m’s
UTG’s corpse will be carbon dated using quarter-lives.
When UTG gets a fill in the blank test he just turns it back in.
UTG is a half Jew. His people wandered the desert for 20 years.
Also, UTG lives in a halfway house.
UTG thinks a Gaussian Bell Curve ends at the median.
UTG wishes you Merry Christmas and a Happy.
UTG’s genital warts don’t spread to his left side.
Fuck FWHM, UTG just uses half maximum.
@Dicy 2:00
Very clever.
UTG has half-blown AIDS.
@Rev Chad
Thanks! I thought about it for half a day.
UTG has half a mind to get half dressed and leave his half way house to half assed look for a job.
Oooh ooh a part time job that is*
UTG’s printer only does half tones.
UTG loves to vacation at Half Dome.
douche is a quarter-wit
douche prefers the half monty
douche waits for the change shot in pornos
douche is still looking for a 3 pound watch to wear
Sadly, Sandy’s cups are only half-full.
Pömmelhorse Pümmelfister 1:44 pm June, 9 said…
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UTG partially agrees with every comment in this thread.
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– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – — – – – — –
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Well I was thinkin’ he may have half a mind to sue us!
Hey!
I don’t think we can get much closer to the record 246 posts on this UTG thread!
UTG’s favorite war movie is Half-Metal Jacket.
his nipples aren’t half finished.
they be bedazzled.
run, sandy, run!!!
UTG’s favorite weekly news program is 30 minutes.
UTG’s favorite wrestling move is the Half Nelson.
UTG half rode a half pipe before he fell. Being UTG he only fell half way to the ground before even gravity gave up in disgust.
UTG has half a grudge against half the science world because they keep making him change his favourite element. Once upon a time it was Antimony but they slowly dragged him further into the table. Only this spring they revealed hints that he was going to have to like Praseodymium over Cerium. And he can’t fukken spell Praseodymium.
Who am I kidding he cannot even spell element…
I think we all can agree that UTG’s mom should have had a partial birth abortion.
he also enjoys eating oysters on the half shell.
The only reggae UTG listens to is Half Pint.
UTG was sub-contracted by god to make the universe. He painted about 20% of the star and just kind of gave up. Which is why we cannot see the fuckers and have had to come up with the term Dark matter.
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On a related note: Dark energy doesn’t exist. The reason for the universe’s expansion speeding up is that it wants to get away from UTG faster.
My fuccen spelling is inexcusable. Fogive me.
At the raw bar, UTG orders oysters on the quarter shell.
UTG longs for the days of Mario Lopez on “The Other Half”.
When UTG was a arrested he had the right to remain.
UTG posts pictures of his mirror on facebook
His also likes The Longest Afternoon.
UTG likes Planet of the Ape.
UTG ruins auto transmissions.
UTG shops for organics at Half Foods.
UTG bowls 150.
UTG doesn’t wipe his ass.
UTG’s favorite Jerry Lee Lewis song is “A Bit of Shakin’ Goin’ On.”
UTG is working on a screenplay entitled The Half Monty.
UTG can’t do the hokey-pokey cuz he justs puts one foot in.
UTG always leaves the girls wanting more.
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lame
UTG scored a perfect 800 on his SATs.
He’s saving up for the rest of his tattoo,which is a giant cock.
Is anyone in here still talking about the hott?
UTG wears damp cloths to work.
UTG goes dutch.
UTG is the living half of a siamese twin.
@ Miss Anonymous
Fuck off and die, bitch.
UTG likes track lighting with dimmers only.
Wait, who is UTG?
UTG’s Segway has no battery.
UTG will be there in about a half an hour.
UTG bats.500.
UTG skates with one truck and two wheels.
UTG was carried to term in the ballsack of a cyclops.
UTG plays flute on his one testicled malamute’s coock . But only hears half-notes.
UTG turns it up to five.
UTG started to read Dante’s Inferno but only got the the second circle of hell.
UTG has a one way ticket to nowhere.
UGT finds women mildly arousing.
UTG’s car is a motorcycle.
UTG has one ticket to paradise.
UTG’s double hung window are open.
UTG’s Mother had one ovary.
UTG got a degree in penile studies at a two year college.
UTG only uses half n half in his half caf coffee.
UTG has a summer house in Halfway, Oregon.
Midway was UTG’s favorite WWII battle.
UTG knows that I work 12 hour days but am only busy half the time.
UTG knows half of The Czech national anthem.
For UTG hindsight is 50.
UTG uses 1/2 in his coffee
UTG travelled to the West Indies and discovered a paleolithic tribe on an island off the coast of Pakistan. He ass raped half of the boys.
UTG can only tell time at half past.
UTG thinks Chris Pronger wears the number 10.
UTG knows I am having bad thoughts about the top half of Dicy.
Heheh and I’m even legal in that pic so it’s okay.
However, UTG only sleeps with girls half his age and finishes halfway through.
UTG orders his coock steak medium.
UTG 1/4 cocks his girlfriends so they don’t fall in love.
this equates to about 1/2 an inch
UTG travelled to ancient Greece to bang a minotaur. All he gave was a blowjob.
UTG doesnt swallow
UTG only listened to the first five songs on Ten, Fuck you Temple of the Dog.
UTG parties 12-3.5, 182.5
^ You have no idea how long it took me to do that without a calculator. It’s embarrassing.
UTG is partly sure that he is not going to find out if hott shaves her poonanna.
UTG has only come half circle.
UTG only cleans, never jerks.
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It’s a weightlifting term. Look it up.
When UTG goes ballin’, he only uses a half court press.
UTG will give you %55.
UTG cheers for the Flyers. Heh.
UTG likes chips, but not dales.
UTG knows how to use a hammer, but not a sickle.
UTG sucked one of Chef’s chocalate salty ball.
What the fuck just happened?
Yeah, the comments section was set to break at 200, but for some reason there’s no ability to read the older comments when it flips, so I just upped it to 300 per page.
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– management
UTG only gets half as many comments as Samuri Scröte because he is only half the man, and by man I mean douche.
UTG peed in a pony once.
UTG enjoys drinking either an ‘Arnold’ or a ‘Palmer’.
UTG works part-time buttoning Kettlehead’s shirts.
UTG does not have half a cock.
okay he does. i’m just lying because i don’t want to see Medusa’s academic fetish pics again. because i need to restock my supply of 151 proof rum.
Instead of a Black & Tan, UTG simply drinks a Guinness.
UTG has only half a brain. therefore, half of his body is paralyzed.
on the bright side, UTG won’t have to worry about his epileptic spasms spreading to his entire body.
lucky bastard.
UTG is incapable of typing on a keyboard with more than 13 alphabetical letters.
if you need to write a takedown request, just take your time configuring your keyboard, UTG.
UTG can only use halved or splintered disks for zip disk cutting.
and if he zip cuts with any frequency. he should be dead now.
damn construction jokes.
UTG only orders a quarter pint at the local Pub.
UTG has ADHD and drives a HEMI.
UTG defraggles
UTG takes half an aspirin and forgets to call the doctor in the morning.
UTG loses half his socks in the spin cycle.
E.T. landed, saw UTG and forgot what he stopped by for.
UTG’s favorite song: “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” – Meat Loaf
UTG applied for the Halfbright Scholarship.
UTG skateboards on the median.
UTG thinks we’re all mean.
UTG’s favorite store: Half-Price Books
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And now that I mention it, I need to go there myself. I visited over Memorial Day weekend and saw a number of librarian-type hotts, including one of the cashiers.
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Maybe I need to get a part-time job…..
UTG’s motto: “All things in moderation.”
UTG visits only those bars with a 2-drink maximum.
UTG’s first and last girlfriend is still waiting for the accidentally conceived baby to be born. Apparently indecisiveness and an inability to finish the job are genetic. Comes of only having 12 autosomal chromosomes.
UTG’s was asked if he was a glass half full kind of guy and just looked confused.
UTG thinks that a half-hearted attempt to break the boss’ new 300 post limit has to be worth a shot
UTG fela dolp coc whi rid enor jel don
UTG tes hin cks le ing mous ly gs
UTG knowns why all fermion spins are odd multiples of 1/2
The universe is supersymmetric, but UTG couldn’t be arsed to finish the job and so the superpartners remain lost to us.
UTG invented the half wave plate
If UTG were a bird he’d migrate then settle.
UTG takes two steps forward and one step back.
Oh, and he lives in a halfway house.
I was half way sure I fuccked everything up.
UTG drives on the shoulder.
UYG is old school, he loves the Doobie Brother.
It’s kinda like oilin the hinges on the llama enclosure with WD-20 , or slatherin up the bbq squirrel with Heinz 28 1/2.
UTG thinks he can go to first base on 2 balls.
UTG thinks he gets another first down after going 5 yards.
UTG never leaves the dugout after his half of an inning.
UTG only wears one sock.
UTG keeps his gas tank half full.
On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday UTG showers the left side. On Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday he showers the right side. On Sunday he only wipes down the top half.
Yes, this MUTHAFUCCA has reached 247 posts and UTG only cracked half a smile.
UTG’s favorite American football position is half-back.
UTG probably doesn’t get this thread because he’s a half-wit.
UTG should stop macking on his half-sister.
UTG does the backstroke with one arm.
UTG would be better served trying to find out why Dan Cortez is his half-brother (I think that’s the name of that douche that was on MTV sports or some shit like that).
UTG measures once and never cuts.
UTG is 50% sure that he is not the father.
UTG you took the lie detector test and the results were inconclusive.
In the case of 3 year old Shanyikwa the DNA test results have shown that you are perhaps the father.
UTG likes Koreans, but only the commie bastards.
It was really UTG to make Zeno come up with his paradox. (Look it up muthafuccas!)
UTG’s version of Pythogorean Theorem is h=y+x.
UTG preferred Tattoo to Mr. Rourke. KHAAAAAAN!
UTG likes Arnold more than Willis. What you talking bout’, he’s dead.
She kinda has a large-ish head. Anyway, those rock-hard abs will be doughy-soft and bulging outwards after her first kid. Enjoy them while they last.
UTG only cuts his mother’s front lawn.
Fair warning, if this thread goes over 300, we won’t see the first 299 posts anymore. No idea why. I blame technology.
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– management
UTG’s web page craps out after 150 comments
UTG says I’m done. He doesn’t want to be partially liable for crashing it again.
Only douches like UTG give up part way! Real men like us keep commenting.
Though, I’d like my fill in the blank comment to stay up for antiquity, soo maybe we should quit before the job is done, much like UTG 🙂
Somebody should copy & paste the comments someplace so’s we can blow dis mutha up if’n we so desire. To think: we might not have had the epochal Sam Scrote Thread…
But UTG would only copy it.
While peeing halfway to a butt of some sort.
UTG’s Shocker is The Hypothetical Gun
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Late the party, I know. F*kken work will do that to you.
UTG’s Hypothetical Gun is Crimson Ted’s Pointer.
UTG’s Point is a fist.
UTG goes all the way by playing “Just hide the tip”.
@Dicy
Nice new pic. UTG is semi-hard.
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I however…
The fiery red is designed to tell people that this pair of Christian Louboutin Sale
is my work. The women with these Christian Louboutin Pumps
can catch more sights from men. He soon applied for a patent for the red sole Christian Louboutin Boots
. A heat wave of the Christian Louboutin Sandals
was set off in Hollywood.3