Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Veg Armstrong
There are many ways to impress a gaggle of cocktail waitress giggle hotts in the hot Vegas sun.
Some involve magic tricks.
Others involve reciting Petrarchian love sonnets by candle light.
And still others involve arm.
something no one in this picture has ever heard:
you haven’t changed a bit since high school/g.e.d. class.
This photo was on The Dirty last week.
Second place in the Cabash County Giant Quash Competion,
Natural, wholesome people.
There is a lot of helium in those balloons.
No steroids. He was genetically modified and is not FDA approved.
None of those ladies are hot. Armstrong would like to talk but his shoulder muscles rub against his dimished Adam’s apple.
He overdosed on Miracle Bro 10-30-10.
Of course I want those broads.
But what happens to them when they get older?
Sad, pathetic, narcissistic. There is nothing Hott about these girls they reek of desperation and low self esteem.
why is everyone so inflated?
I don’t know whats bigger and rounder, their boobs or his shoulder.
These eediots give protein a bad name.
I know the arms are the best that the Weight Training/Pharmacutical Industrial Complex can produce. But what of the boobies? how much of that is fake?
But I’ll allow that I could watch the raven-haired denim shorts girl in the background walk by all afternoon.
Bag, bleeth, bleeth annnnnnd bleeth.
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Et tu @ 7:32 is right – the desperation for acceptance in this picture is unnerving.
Helium Day at the pool was a HUGE success
Without steroids and silicone, this would be a photo of palm trees.
This is a candidate for DB1’s Guggenheim Exhibit.
Title:
Insecurity with Palm Trees
his hat’s on straight, no tatts, no watch, no ‘danas, no sunglasses, no stupid facial hair, no stupid hand gestures, no audiger, he’s a really pumped guy in a kinda’ silly tanktop in the middle of the desert… i vote notta’
Or maybe the featured portrait in the Boobenheim Exhibit
Seven over-inflated boobs.
For the love of God, more pictures of the zebra striped bikini hot STAT. Lives depend on it. And by lives I mean the millions of little LeBagski’s waiting to spew out from my White Russian.
That’s his ‘bating arm.
The other arm looks like a hot dog.
Ahh to skate through life talking like a baby and wearing dental floss….The rest of us need to get by on personality, conversation, talent, skills, etc.
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Gonna suck when you hit your 40’s, Toots…
As you can clearly see, prolonged and sustained suppression of flatulence affects males and females very differently.
“Steroids and Silicone”. Coming soon to E!. A new and innovative reality show that shows the human-ness and complexity of living in SoCa.
Methinks his arm came from the same south pacific atoll where the Us conducted nuclear tests. Godzilla stomped on the japanese, will his arm soon terrorize the Rehab parties? It already is. And by the way, boobs.
These chicks will look like Joan Rivers by 35. Boobs are good but really is there a need for that much plastic surgery at 28? What the hell is that thing on the left?
Oh yeah its The Thing .
I think it is sad when a choad’s little head is the same size as his cranium in this shot. I guess with a pea brain and enough testosterone to kill a small Samoan village, neither head really need or get to be big.
Steve showed off his trophy for eating the most billiard balls in 60 seconds but the skanks weren’t too impressed.
Seeing pictures like this make me ever the more grateful that I wasn’t abused as a small child.
Hair bleach! FUCK YEAH!
Fake tits! FUCK YEAH!
Giant lips! FUCK YEAH!
Steroids! FUCK YEAH!
Botox! FUCK YEAH!
Synthol! FUCK YEAH!
Bronzer! FUCK YEAH!
Vegas whores! FUCK YEAH!
Uh-Mehr-Uh-Kuh, FUCK YEAH!!
Uh-Mehr-Uh-Kuh, FUCK YEAH!!!!
U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!!
I would like to see a rendering of this guy a la Da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man.
Steve Dave has said it all…
What a tribute to cosmetic surgery and HGH/testosterone use. Could Veg be the new Pumpy?
I think the girls are all beautiful; you guys are just a bunch of jealous hatters.
Love,
Heidi Montag
Dude just got shot by the Men In Black weapon.
Don’t worry, your head will grow back.
There is one Hott in this picture… but she’s walking away
“I knew Pumpy. Pumpy was a friend of mine. And you, douchebag, are no Pumpy.”
P.S. That is one ugly motherfucker.
That motherfucker is so ugly, he can’t hail a bus.
He’s so ugly his ass won’t let him wipe.
JFC that guy is big. As are the melons. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, melons
this is why you should never waste Petrarchan love sonnets on Vegas cocktail waitresses.
I met a girl a while back at an “after-party” on a saturday night who lives about 2 hours from me and was just in town to party that night…. i guess wasnt motivated enough to ask for her phone number cuz I didnt “make a move” and then the next night she friended me on facebook. she looks a lot like the blond in the middle and I’ve caught myself looking at her pictures and thinking all of the above simultaneously:
1. no wonder I didnt ask for her #, this is not my type
2. what is with these pics? I almost hate her for making these contrived poses and faces that are supposed to be attrractive but are just stupid,
3. you kinda look like a blow-up doll
4. if you put up all the effort to come back to town and see me and keep your mouth shut, I’ll do you but otherwise, I cannot possibly talk to you at all.
When your bicep is larger than your head, normal brain chemistry should be raising a red flag.
5. Why do I came up with such lame rationalizations for why I didn’t get laid?
pumpy is living a better life now
…at plastic beach, i guess…
Why do I feel this pressing need to check my tire pressure.
i saw these guys in that documentary bigger rounder skankier
I love female female impersonators… and so does Veg.
6. I have changed my name to “The General of The Army of Douchness” for telling this BS story
Way to make up a story about how much of a playa you pretend to be. You might need to take a look in the mirror. Sorry. Just keeping it real dawg!
“Steroids? Naw, bro, all natural!”
Am I super f-ed up for wanting to take all three bleaths to the VIP room of Spearmint Rhino after a visit to the atm next to the bathrooms first? Okay MFK with the three chicks since we would all kill the steroid moron who must have paid to take a pic with these girls.
Marry the “brunette”
F the platinum chick with the gold and black (I mean has to be so fun)
And Kill my parents for raising a child that actually wants to drive to vegas right now to party with these chicks.
@ Army of Bullshit.
What you said doesn’t make sense. i dont want to have anything to do with her so it’s “fuck all” and i don’t because i don’t find her behavior attractive.
I dont know where you gathered i think of myself as a player, because I’m totally not. I’m really like, into meeting one nice girl at a time and having a cutesy-relationship, which is what has happened since.
Finally, great job missing the point, I’m merely pointing out that these bleethy types are not so attractive.
Don’t be a hatter, I’m a regular and as far as looking in a mirror, I’m like Samurai Scrote’s twin- do not fuck with me.
p.s. I can see where #4 may sound kind of arrogant, i merely meant I’m not pursuing.
@Army of Bullshit,
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Yeah, I bet Army of Douche-ness isn’t his real name either. Fucking bullshit.
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.
Wait.
After a month w/o sex my libido would short-circuit my brain and fuck all that is silicone-filled in this picture . Even that Pumpy-wannabe would get a shot of jizz in his a*s.
@Army of Douchness I say the more you type the douchier you read. You made your self sound so not me. Keep on choden it up chodester.
@Ludacris Yep. You got it pal. BS indeed. Fake name and all. Who the hell does he think he is?
Just because you are a regular, doesn’t mean you’re not a twat. I’m just merely pointing that out.
I agree and trust me I know a lot about twats.
I was just thinking maybe the drug companies can engage in some unorthodox advertising: After enjoying your visit at Rehab, when you later see your doctor ask about Valtrex…..
enough of the fighting amongst yourselves boys, keep focused on the mocking.
this guy should lean his head forward in pictures, not back. then his head would only look 3 times smaller than his body. and those skanks must have some sort of E.P.A. hazard rating for all the silicone they are carrying around. nasty!
Aha, Army of Bullshit wants to hi-jack my name…
Not hi-jacking just calling a spade a spade.
I peed in a bull who was shitting on my pelvis once.
@ Army of Bullshit,
eh.
Anyway, back to the post, it’s sad that this aesthetic is on some cultural level considered the “ideal” or the future of mankind. We’ll continue to evolve and some have proposed that like the neandertals and humans co-existed for some time, there will be a seperation between authentic humans and altered humans and these folks will be the altered humans…now, will they also be the same folks that get the x-ray vision and modem in their brains such that they can connect to the internet with their thoughts and have real advantages over normal humans, that remains to be seen…but their willingness to alter themselves for perceived “superiority” vs others’ obstinance is telling.
AoD
Man vegas is like a HCWDB heaven on earth!
..I think i may have to go there itd be like a safari trip!.. drivin by lookin at the hotts out the window..n then crashing into some douchebags chevy silverado.. which would then probably be followed by some sort of confrontation i imagine.. newayand as for the bickering lets not lie to ourselves why dont we just all admit as men amongst men that deep down in our testosterone driven dicks our egos would be tellin us to ram those chicks up the caboosy and be gropin those melons like a fruit n veg stall seller.. i for one undeniably admit this. and as for the life size action figure i bet he’ll meet the same demise as many of his gym monkey predecessors – a death from a cardiac arrest in a hotel room caused by a concoction of steriods, sex and alcohol…which would be no wonder as thts enough for any ticker to take!
they’re just so….bulbous…
A real pinhead, like Zippy. Wasn’t he in Men In Black? If your arm is larger than your head, you are a douche. someone needs to pick those melons before they explode.
hah yeh thts probly why blondie in the middle looks so worried cos the melons of zebra bikini print hottie are going to explode in her face.
I bet his dick looks like a sweet ‘tater.
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Damn….every now and then the Mississippi slips out….
I see roidbags, I sometimes recall this scene from Akira:
Remember that game they played in 40 Year Old Virgin?
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Hey. Army of Doucheness. You know how I know you’re gay…?
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I kid, I kid.
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Me? If I was able to hook up with a girl that looked like middle “blonde” in the pic, I’d plant a flag on the poon like I was Neil Armstrong (also the name of the guy in this photo).
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Left “blonde” reminds me of Cheetara from Thundercats.
There are 7 enormous and fake tits in this photograph.
If there were any gods worthy of the title these people would be lepers, minimum. Loki, were he real, would make them shit the bed nightly.
Religion is bunk and here’s your proof. Selah.
I wonder which one of them will flop and jerk randomly around the room, with a squeaking, leaking noise.
–
He’s no Pumpy. Pumpy, for all his over-inflated faults, handled himself with a certain dignity and humour. This bunch couldn’t even spell those words, even if you spotted them the first six letters.
It must be hard for him to jerk off.
Can’t wait for this assbag to have a massive coronary while sitting on the toilet trying to take a dump.
that’s a pretty impressive roid-gut he’s working on
Can we get proof that these chicks do not work in porn?
Sorry, my mind is on the despoiled marshlands and beaches of the Gulf.
…. Pumpy is in heaven. SIde-boobs are heaven-sent….everything else is but plumes and slick.
How does this Titan masturbate without ripping his whang off??
I like the glasses on the man on the far right…good look dude…
“Muscle man! You look like a fuckin freak!” -NOFX
Good thing he is not in Arizona or they would have discovered the five illegals hidden in his bicep.
Now let’s see him take off his singlet to bed those Hotts. or do his arms not move above the horizontal at all?
@
7:42 I R A Darth Aggie –
“But I’ll allow that I could watch the raven-haired denim shorts girl in the background walk by all afternoon.”
I’m with you Darth ,let’s improve this dreadful photo by going around to the other side of this bleeth/douche monstrosity ,ie. in front of the Raven Girl ,and taking a picture there .
Thank You .
this is stackhouse and i am officially stating that this dude is a pussy crushing machine…He”s got his some, fucking marvelous
2springer