Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Veg Armstrong

There are many ways to impress a gaggle of cocktail waitress giggle hotts in the hot Vegas sun.

Some involve magic tricks.

Others involve reciting Petrarchian love sonnets by candle light.

And still others involve arm.

# posted by douchebag1
7:11 am June, 8 Euripidouche said...

something no one in this picture has ever heard:

you haven’t changed a bit since high school/g.e.d. class.

7:13 am June, 8 nik richie said...

This photo was on The Dirty last week.

7:14 am June, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Second place in the Cabash County Giant Quash Competion,

7:16 am June, 8 Anonymous said...

Natural, wholesome people.

7:17 am June, 8 bigphatnotadouche said...

There is a lot of helium in those balloons.

7:18 am June, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

No steroids. He was genetically modified and is not FDA approved.

7:19 am June, 8 SloppyJoe said...

None of those ladies are hot. Armstrong would like to talk but his shoulder muscles rub against his dimished Adam’s apple.

7:19 am June, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He overdosed on Miracle Bro 10-30-10.

7:23 am June, 8 Douchble Helix said...

Of course I want those broads.

But what happens to them when they get older?

7:23 am June, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

Sad, pathetic, narcissistic. There is nothing Hott about these girls they reek of desperation and low self esteem.

7:24 am June, 8 Phil said...

why is everyone so inflated?

7:31 am June, 8 Claude Douchenburg said...

I don’t know whats bigger and rounder, their boobs or his shoulder.

7:38 am June, 8 Vin Douchal said...

These eediots give protein a bad name.

7:42 am June, 8 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I know the arms are the best that the Weight Training/Pharmacutical Industrial Complex can produce. But what of the boobies? how much of that is fake?

But I’ll allow that I could watch the raven-haired denim shorts girl in the background walk by all afternoon.

7:42 am June, 8 E-blo's Last Thought said...

Bag, bleeth, bleeth annnnnnd bleeth.

.

.

Et tu @ 7:32 is right – the desperation for acceptance in this picture is unnerving.

7:46 am June, 8 creature said...

Helium Day at the pool was a HUGE success

7:47 am June, 8 scrotum pole said...

Without steroids and silicone, this would be a photo of palm trees.

7:51 am June, 8 scrotum pole said...

This is a candidate for DB1’s Guggenheim Exhibit.

Title:

Insecurity with Palm Trees

7:51 am June, 8 my friends call me @$$hole said...

his hat’s on straight, no tatts, no watch, no ‘danas, no sunglasses, no stupid facial hair, no stupid hand gestures, no audiger, he’s a really pumped guy in a kinda’ silly tanktop in the middle of the desert… i vote notta’

7:52 am June, 8 scrotum pole said...

Or maybe the featured portrait in the Boobenheim Exhibit

7:58 am June, 8 scrotum pole said...

Seven over-inflated boobs.

8:01 am June, 8 The Big LeBagski said...

For the love of God, more pictures of the zebra striped bikini hot STAT. Lives depend on it. And by lives I mean the millions of little LeBagski’s waiting to spew out from my White Russian.

8:05 am June, 8 DarkSock said...

That’s his ‘bating arm.

8:06 am June, 8 DarkSock said...

The other arm looks like a hot dog.

8:08 am June, 8 Elastic Snap Hole of the Love Bear said...

Ahh to skate through life talking like a baby and wearing dental floss….The rest of us need to get by on personality, conversation, talent, skills, etc.

.

Gonna suck when you hit your 40’s, Toots…

8:18 am June, 8 DarkSock said...

As you can clearly see, prolonged and sustained suppression of flatulence affects males and females very differently.

8:24 am June, 8 Steve said...

“Steroids and Silicone”. Coming soon to E!. A new and innovative reality show that shows the human-ness and complexity of living in SoCa.

8:25 am June, 8 Guns-N-Douches said...

Methinks his arm came from the same south pacific atoll where the Us conducted nuclear tests. Godzilla stomped on the japanese, will his arm soon terrorize the Rehab parties? It already is. And by the way, boobs.

8:32 am June, 8 mr.reeve said...

These chicks will look like Joan Rivers by 35. Boobs are good but really is there a need for that much plastic surgery at 28? What the hell is that thing on the left?

Oh yeah its The Thing .

8:33 am June, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think it is sad when a choad’s little head is the same size as his cranium in this shot. I guess with a pea brain and enough testosterone to kill a small Samoan village, neither head really need or get to be big.

8:34 am June, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Steve showed off his trophy for eating the most billiard balls in 60 seconds but the skanks weren’t too impressed.

8:36 am June, 8 Crucial Head said...

Seeing pictures like this make me ever the more grateful that I wasn’t abused as a small child.

8:39 am June, 8 Steve Dave said...

Hair bleach! FUCK YEAH!

Fake tits! FUCK YEAH!

Giant lips! FUCK YEAH!

Steroids! FUCK YEAH!

Botox! FUCK YEAH!

Synthol! FUCK YEAH!

Bronzer! FUCK YEAH!

Vegas whores! FUCK YEAH!

Uh-Mehr-Uh-Kuh, FUCK YEAH!!

Uh-Mehr-Uh-Kuh, FUCK YEAH!!!!

U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!!

8:40 am June, 8 massengill said...

I would like to see a rendering of this guy a la Da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man.

9:18 am June, 8 doucheywallnuts said...

Steve Dave has said it all…

What a tribute to cosmetic surgery and HGH/testosterone use. Could Veg be the new Pumpy?

9:22 am June, 8 Wedgie said...

I think the girls are all beautiful; you guys are just a bunch of jealous hatters.

Love,

Heidi Montag

9:23 am June, 8 Wedgie said...

Dude just got shot by the Men In Black weapon.

Don’t worry, your head will grow back.

9:29 am June, 8 DoucheBigue said...

There is one Hott in this picture… but she’s walking away

9:30 am June, 8 Anthony LaBaglia said...

“I knew Pumpy. Pumpy was a friend of mine. And you, douchebag, are no Pumpy.”

9:32 am June, 8 Anthony LaBaglia said...

P.S. That is one ugly motherfucker.

That motherfucker is so ugly, he can’t hail a bus.

9:35 am June, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He’s so ugly his ass won’t let him wipe.

9:39 am June, 8 Douchesquire said...

JFC that guy is big. As are the melons. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, melons

9:46 am June, 8 Steve L. said...

this is why you should never waste Petrarchan love sonnets on Vegas cocktail waitresses.

9:50 am June, 8 Army of DOuche-ness said...

I met a girl a while back at an “after-party” on a saturday night who lives about 2 hours from me and was just in town to party that night…. i guess wasnt motivated enough to ask for her phone number cuz I didnt “make a move” and then the next night she friended me on facebook. she looks a lot like the blond in the middle and I’ve caught myself looking at her pictures and thinking all of the above simultaneously:

1. no wonder I didnt ask for her #, this is not my type

2. what is with these pics? I almost hate her for making these contrived poses and faces that are supposed to be attrractive but are just stupid,

3. you kinda look like a blow-up doll

4. if you put up all the effort to come back to town and see me and keep your mouth shut, I’ll do you but otherwise, I cannot possibly talk to you at all.

10:12 am June, 8 Mr. Biggs said...

When your bicep is larger than your head, normal brain chemistry should be raising a red flag.

10:27 am June, 8 Douchble Helix said...

5. Why do I came up with such lame rationalizations for why I didn’t get laid?

10:29 am June, 8 Düsseldouche said...

pumpy is living a better life now

…at plastic beach, i guess…

10:32 am June, 8 Mr. Biggs said...

Why do I feel this pressing need to check my tire pressure.

10:37 am June, 8 douchie howser M.D. said...

i saw these guys in that documentary bigger rounder skankier

10:42 am June, 8 Douchey Smurf said...

I love female female impersonators… and so does Veg.

10:43 am June, 8 Army of Bullshit said...

6. I have changed my name to “The General of The Army of Douchness” for telling this BS story

Way to make up a story about how much of a playa you pretend to be. You might need to take a look in the mirror. Sorry. Just keeping it real dawg!

11:13 am June, 8 Deltus said...

“Steroids? Naw, bro, all natural!”

11:21 am June, 8 toddjerad said...

Am I super f-ed up for wanting to take all three bleaths to the VIP room of Spearmint Rhino after a visit to the atm next to the bathrooms first? Okay MFK with the three chicks since we would all kill the steroid moron who must have paid to take a pic with these girls.

Marry the “brunette”

F the platinum chick with the gold and black (I mean has to be so fun)

And Kill my parents for raising a child that actually wants to drive to vegas right now to party with these chicks.

11:24 am June, 8 Army of DOuche-ness said...

@ Army of Bullshit.

What you said doesn’t make sense. i dont want to have anything to do with her so it’s “fuck all” and i don’t because i don’t find her behavior attractive.

I dont know where you gathered i think of myself as a player, because I’m totally not. I’m really like, into meeting one nice girl at a time and having a cutesy-relationship, which is what has happened since.

Finally, great job missing the point, I’m merely pointing out that these bleethy types are not so attractive.

Don’t be a hatter, I’m a regular and as far as looking in a mirror, I’m like Samurai Scrote’s twin- do not fuck with me.

11:28 am June, 8 Army of DOuche-ness said...

p.s. I can see where #4 may sound kind of arrogant, i merely meant I’m not pursuing.

11:30 am June, 8 Ludacris Axehandle McCockkwielder said...

@Army of Bullshit,

.

Yeah, I bet Army of Douche-ness isn’t his real name either. Fucking bullshit.

.

.

.

Wait.

11:39 am June, 8 MoeDouche said...

After a month w/o sex my libido would short-circuit my brain and fuck all that is silicone-filled in this picture . Even that Pumpy-wannabe would get a shot of jizz in his a*s.

12:01 pm June, 8 Army of Bullshit said...

@Army of Douchness I say the more you type the douchier you read. You made your self sound so not me. Keep on choden it up chodester.

@Ludacris Yep. You got it pal. BS indeed. Fake name and all. Who the hell does he think he is?

12:03 pm June, 8 Maddhatter said...

Just because you are a regular, doesn’t mean you’re not a twat. I’m just merely pointing that out.

12:09 pm June, 8 Twat said...

I agree and trust me I know a lot about twats.

12:21 pm June, 8 Douchey the Great said...

I was just thinking maybe the drug companies can engage in some unorthodox advertising: After enjoying your visit at Rehab, when you later see your doctor ask about Valtrex…..

12:24 pm June, 8 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

enough of the fighting amongst yourselves boys, keep focused on the mocking.

this guy should lean his head forward in pictures, not back. then his head would only look 3 times smaller than his body. and those skanks must have some sort of E.P.A. hazard rating for all the silicone they are carrying around. nasty!

12:32 pm June, 8 Army of Douche-ness said...

Aha, Army of Bullshit wants to hi-jack my name…

12:47 pm June, 8 Army of Bullshit said...

Not hi-jacking just calling a spade a spade.

12:56 pm June, 8 A Gust of Foul Wind said...

I peed in a bull who was shitting on my pelvis once.

1:02 pm June, 8 Army of Douche-ness said...

@ Army of Bullshit,

eh.

1:08 pm June, 8 Army of Douche-ness said...

Anyway, back to the post, it’s sad that this aesthetic is on some cultural level considered the “ideal” or the future of mankind. We’ll continue to evolve and some have proposed that like the neandertals and humans co-existed for some time, there will be a seperation between authentic humans and altered humans and these folks will be the altered humans…now, will they also be the same folks that get the x-ray vision and modem in their brains such that they can connect to the internet with their thoughts and have real advantages over normal humans, that remains to be seen…but their willingness to alter themselves for perceived “superiority” vs others’ obstinance is telling.

AoD

1:25 pm June, 8 MILLS said...

Man vegas is like a HCWDB heaven on earth!

..I think i may have to go there itd be like a safari trip!.. drivin by lookin at the hotts out the window..n then crashing into some douchebags chevy silverado.. which would then probably be followed by some sort of confrontation i imagine.. newayand as for the bickering lets not lie to ourselves why dont we just all admit as men amongst men that deep down in our testosterone driven dicks our egos would be tellin us to ram those chicks up the caboosy and be gropin those melons like a fruit n veg stall seller.. i for one undeniably admit this. and as for the life size action figure i bet he’ll meet the same demise as many of his gym monkey predecessors – a death from a cardiac arrest in a hotel room caused by a concoction of steriods, sex and alcohol…which would be no wonder as thts enough for any ticker to take!

1:29 pm June, 8 Baron Von Goolo said...

they’re just so….bulbous

2:10 pm June, 8 Bagwood Dumbstead said...

A real pinhead, like Zippy. Wasn’t he in Men In Black? If your arm is larger than your head, you are a douche. someone needs to pick those melons before they explode.

2:41 pm June, 8 MILLS said...

hah yeh thts probly why blondie in the middle looks so worried cos the melons of zebra bikini print hottie are going to explode in her face.

3:11 pm June, 8 DarkSock said...

I bet his dick looks like a sweet ‘tater.

.

Damn….every now and then the Mississippi slips out….

3:54 pm June, 8 Baleen said...

I see roidbags, I sometimes recall this scene from Akira:

3:56 pm June, 8 massengill said...

Remember that game they played in 40 Year Old Virgin?

.

Hey. Army of Doucheness. You know how I know you’re gay…?

.

I kid, I kid.

.

Me? If I was able to hook up with a girl that looked like middle “blonde” in the pic, I’d plant a flag on the poon like I was Neil Armstrong (also the name of the guy in this photo).

.

Left “blonde” reminds me of Cheetara from Thundercats.

4:21 pm June, 8 opie sardonicus said...

There are 7 enormous and fake tits in this photograph.

If there were any gods worthy of the title these people would be lepers, minimum. Loki, were he real, would make them shit the bed nightly.

Religion is bunk and here’s your proof. Selah.

4:49 pm June, 8 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

I wonder which one of them will flop and jerk randomly around the room, with a squeaking, leaking noise.

He’s no Pumpy. Pumpy, for all his over-inflated faults, handled himself with a certain dignity and humour. This bunch couldn’t even spell those words, even if you spotted them the first six letters.

4:54 pm June, 8 Victor von Douche said...

It must be hard for him to jerk off.

4:54 pm June, 8 Snoop Douchey Bagg said...

Can’t wait for this assbag to have a massive coronary while sitting on the toilet trying to take a dump.

5:28 pm June, 8 Anon said...

that’s a pretty impressive roid-gut he’s working on

5:44 pm June, 8 Welcome to Douchetralia said...

Can we get proof that these chicks do not work in porn?

7:09 pm June, 8 Whoop-di-douche said...

Sorry, my mind is on the despoiled marshlands and beaches of the Gulf.

…. Pumpy is in heaven. SIde-boobs are heaven-sent….everything else is but plumes and slick.

7:18 pm June, 8 Douches Wild said...

How does this Titan masturbate without ripping his whang off??

7:49 pm June, 8 horncusker said...

I like the glasses on the man on the far right…good look dude…

8:17 pm June, 8 Bag Margera said...

“Muscle man! You look like a fuckin freak!” -NOFX

9:03 pm June, 8 Douche Bauer said...

Good thing he is not in Arizona or they would have discovered the five illegals hidden in his bicep.

2:51 am June, 9 The Choad Warrior said...

Now let’s see him take off his singlet to bed those Hotts. or do his arms not move above the horizontal at all?

7:47 am June, 9 all bagged out said...

@

7:42 I R A Darth Aggie –

“But I’ll allow that I could watch the raven-haired denim shorts girl in the background walk by all afternoon.”

I’m with you Darth ,let’s improve this dreadful photo by going around to the other side of this bleeth/douche monstrosity ,ie. in front of the Raven Girl ,and taking a picture there .

Thank You .

1:17 am June, 10 Anonymous said...

this is stackhouse and i am officially stating that this dude is a pussy crushing machine…He”s got his some, fucking marvelous

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