Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Superlobe
Phatter than a speeding mullet!
More powerful than a Happy Meal prize!
Able to skip annoying job interviews in a single “didn’t set my alarm!”
Look!
Working at the supermarket!
It’s a turd!
It’s a lame!
It’s Superlobe!
Yes, it’s Superlobe – lame visitor from next door suburbia who came to bother Sweet Suzy Hott with powers and piercings far beyond those of normal men.
Superlobe – who can change the course of bagging groceries at the local Albertsons, air guitar with his bare hands, and who, disguised as “Continuing Education and Part Time Guitarist Guy,” mild mannered guy for a great metropolitan supermarket, fights the never ending battle for minimum wage, Smirnoff Ice and the slacker way.
I can never find my Xacto Knife when I need it
One word
Asinine…
My only wish is this guy gets hung up on a wire rack at Home Depot as he walks around which in turn rips his ear off.
And it frames a Cadillac emblem how nice, this must be Suzy’s brother, there is no other reason for the photo.
His Kryptonite would be the end of his unemployment benefits or a staff infection.
this guy is really more of a dipshit than a douchebag in my opinion.
Bobby was so excited when he was able to stretch out his earlobes large enough so that they could finally hold the hamster wheel. Now he just has to get that ban from the pet store lifted so he can have a “date” tonight.
Nice, you know he’s dangle is all mangled too, he’s probably got a bunch of shit sticking out of his helmet and his nutsack. Ol Suzy probably chips a tooth every time she goes down on him, which is probably alot or else he give her the business in the bathroom of their single-wide so their 4 kids won’t see.
Just kidding, he doesn’t care if the kids watch.
Actually I have the urge to try and put my foot in one of those things and pretend that I’m trying to kickstart a 1937 Knucklehead.
Yet another thing I can’t unsee this week. DB1 you owe us some serious ass pear.
‘Superlobe’ can also carry around grapefruit without using his hands
That’s his sister.
.
And that’s OK with him.
Would someone please explain to an aging hipster what oh what is the appeal of mangling one’s earlobes for public display/revulsion?
Does it attract hotts the way excessive tatts and hat tilts do?
Is it something more primal?
Are there people on earth who aren’t disgusted at the sight of such self-abusive shit?
Inquiring, middle-aged minds want to know….especially from your female bag-hunters/huntresses…
Now excuse me while I go get my next cock ring installed…
I want to punch him in the face…through that hole.
we definitely need a pear chaser after that
The only place on his head left to pierce is his temple, with a 30 ought 8
Excuse me while I cut my Jesus sized penis off and fucle myself.
Thirty ought eight? ^
Perhaps you mean the 30.06 Springfield.
This fucker cannot not know he”s a douchebag.
When he’s having sex, it looks like Dumbo having an epileptic seizure… and it sounds like a collection of plastic measuring cups being slapped against a slab of bologna.
Dude’s got cock-rails on his lower lip!
.
His sister’s a cutie, though.
My analysis, for what its worth, is that Superlobe’s and Suzy’s parents gave all their love and attention to Suzy. He’ll show them.
After what I witnessed prior this is almost refreshing.I’m say a notta to Slobe he probably works at a tatt shop, hangs with his fellow tatt heads, listens to odd, loud, angry music at an out of the way dive bar that charges minimal $$$’s for a good cold beer. He’s low key and that’s the way he likes it. He’s not looking fit into some demographic
.
The girl in the pic is cute bordering on sneaky, naughty hott in bed.
He has my iPhone case hanging from his scrote sized lobes
I’d like to ask this guy when he’s 60 if would change anything about his youthful decisions. My guess is he’d break into song…
“Regrets…I’ve had a few…”
Seriously, how can you justify this? At least tats can be covered. What a tool.
Me: Great! Something to hold onto while I repeatedly drive my knee into his face!
.
His Broheims: Great! Something to hold onto while we repeately drive our cockks into his face!
Ya know, I just had a thought. If Bagpoleon jumped up and grabbed those hoops and pulled himself up he’d be only the second person in history who could get blown while performing an iron cross. The first, of course, was Samurai Scrote while trying to climb Plinky’s mom.
Hey, all you ass holes need to leave him the hell alone. He’s a really great super guy. Besides I’m dating his sister Suzy here, at least I hope I am once she reads me sticking up for her brother.
.
.
.
My master plan is coming together just as I planned.
.
.
.
Call me Suzy… I love you!
I don’t see this guy as a douchebag. People who do this kind of body modding KNOW they’re marginalising themselves. They have no intention in conforming to or interest in mainstream society. Most of them are pretty low key. I know a number of people who are into this and they are not (all) bad people. Think of them and their kind as “The Island of Misfit Toys”. I would not be surprised if this was his sister – they have very similar eyes.
With ear things like that – he knows he can’t go kickin’ ass like the douchebags at Bill’s Bar. He knows he’s never going to pull the quality hotts. He knows that he will never make more than $30k a year. And if he’s the kind of person I think he is, he’s OK with that.
I decree: Notta.
On another note – am I the only person here who misses FLYTEETH?
Must…resist…urge to recycle….fellatio handlebars joke….
Superlobe pulls her tits through his rings and pulls her around their $400 inflatable pool they got from Wal-Mart. Top o’ the line, bitches. But he didn’t level the ground first so it sags to one side like her mom’s boobs.
Her legs just above the knees are the same circumference as SuperLobe’s Super Lobes.
.
Just sayin’…
SuperLobe Makes a living during the week as a OB/GYN observation table.
As soon as he gets his dirtbike running, he’s gonna run you down.
SuperLobe makes a living as Snooki’s clit ring.
.
.
Her junk looks like an English Bulldog choking on a burlap sack full of black spiders.
It’s Silly Putty around Hula Hoops. And there’s a Slinky installed in his butt. He’s the “Toys of the Sixties” as performance art. But I share the douche-doubt that others have wafted heavenward.
I hope, for the douche’s ears sake, he never gets into a bar fight.
I miss FLYTEETH but I’m not here…..
I quit being here afrt FLYTEEHP gone.
Carry on.
Samurai Scrote’s mom puts the on her boyfriends as a cocck ring.
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the circus. In the left ring you will see the Fearless Freep trapeze into a douchebags earlobe while the unlovely assistant is pummelled by a Jesus sized cocck.
I’ll have to side with Troy Tempest here. He’s notta douche. He’s a modern primitive. Yet,I must say this…you gotta have balls to do this kind of thing or a commitment to making yourself ugly purposely. I think most people who do this,are mostly trying to be unique,I get the whole black sheep vibe, but come on,THERE ARE OTHER WAYS!
Whatever happened with having a personality or doing other things to stand out from the crowd? Perhaps,making your mark in other ways…the only place he might be loved or accepted as beautiful is most likely Kenya. Good luck chuck.
In the centre ring you will see blood as it is removed by Bubbles the molested chimp.
In the right ring you will find puss, STD fluid, Hep C, earwax and the Jesus sized cocck at the ready to earfuck the unlovely assistant.Please be sure to enjoy our candy snacks available from the nearest drunken clown.
She could be his sister, they have similar facial features. But if she ain’t, well… there’s certain pictures on this site that stand head and shoulders (and in this case, earlobes) above the regular “that pairing just ain’t right” rank and file. *shudder*
Of course it’s his sister…or some other relation. Look at the background. These two aren’t in a club. Thats a knick-knack shelf with family photos on it. Also, agree w/ TT…nottabag.
I think he’s stealing satellite TV with those hula hoops he’s lodged in his ears…
I agree with Stephanie. There are other ways to stand out in the crowd.
Personally, I do volunteer work with the Red Cross and Habitat for Humanity.
I also put cigarettes out on my cheeks and can recite the Gettysburg Adress rectally, through the use of flatuence.
Troy, I would disagree. I know people like this myself. None of them have such obviously large ear hoops. Yeah they’re annoying on any level, but there’s a difference between having these for style and the douchebag move of doing something extra large and obnoxious just to outdo everyone else.
Then there’s the Monster Drink t-shirt. Autodouche. Period. If I were so broke I could only get corporate freebies, I’d still turn it insideout in public.
why are we tasked with battling the Superlobe right after DB1 tells us to never give up the mock? can’t we just lust over an ass pear instead?
wait. what am i, a slacker like Superlobe?! DIE SUPERLOBE! CHOKE ON A CARROT OR SOMETHING!
I bet he talks like Mike Tyson, I saw a putty tatt!
Just So You Know Dept: Ever check out comedienne, Carrie Keagan? She’s funny and really , really, really, really, really nice looking:
.
.
There’s a nice little collection of photos HERE.
.
Fwap,
.
Vin
OK, thanks VIN. Needed visual relief.
Also, I stated earlier this week I missed FLYTEETH, so there is more tha one out here who does.
When I was a kid, we only saw stuff like this in National Geographic features on Africa.
If an idiot wants people to look at his earlobes and be reminded how utterly emptyheaded he is, fine. He may well be teaching his rat terrier to jump through his ear hoops in preparation for a stint on Stupid Pet Tricks. Or mjaybe he just likes the wind blowing through his ears. I wouldn’t want my head looking like a permanent horse bridle. It might be construed for an ass bridle.
I think he’s secretly training a flea circus to run races on these hoops.
This fellow is, ahem, a real “circle jerk.”
There are times I have the horrible feeling that FLYTEETH got swatted. I mean, it’s only natural, he was bound to irritate someone eventually.
I’d like to see what this idiot has done to alter his foreskin or droop-baggs. He may just enjoy having his gerbils jump through hoops after they exit the cave.
Hula hoop ears. I wonder if he can do that trick on his cock, too.
This is the newest carnival attraction, to throw the quarter through the ear hoop, watch it bounce off the neck, and ricochet the duck..
It’s a cat-repo man. Tricks pussies into licking his ear, only for them to discover it’s a noose.
This is really a ruse to attract little kids at Christmas who make those paper hoop garlands.
That, or he’s the pole for the velvet ropes that keep us in genteel lines or away from places we dare not trample. Some people areally are desperate for employment.
It’s always an exciting time when these turdwanks come through the emergency room door at the city hospital.
Suzy…drool.
This photo could launch a new site called, “Fucking Douchebag/Assholes With Chicks You Might Bang.” Subtitled, “Pictures of Guys You’d Wish Stomach Cancer on With Girls You Might Bang if You’d Had Enough to Drink, with Mocking.”
I think FLYTEETH is expanding his daycare. He now offers advanced TARMAL classes for the wee ones. That and water heater problems. FUE!
I’ve been looking for my magnifying glass….thanks for finding it, douche. I’ll just yank that little fuccer right out of your stupid ear.
RRRRRIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!
See ya.
Superlobe is just trying to beat the summer heat by installing one of those new Dyson Air Mulitpliers in his lobe.
I can almost picture a Masai warrior on the opposite side of the globe posing with an Affliction tee, a litre of Grey Goose, and muscle implants while reeking of Axe.
.
Actually, I’d rather not.
Gotta be his sister. There is no way and I mean no way she is attracted to Pinhead’s retarded Cenobite brother. And poor sweet Suzy, you deserve a different kind of necklace running down your neck and I will be happy to oblige.
As I sit here naked in my kitchen (it’s god awful hot in NYC) I can only think: WHY!?
.
About HIM you douchebag, not why I’M sitting here naked in my kitchen. There really is no reason for me to sit here naked, I have AC and can turn it on whenever, I just really wanted to sit in my kitchen naked.
.
Fuck you, like you never did this.
@ ChoadTDS 1:47
In case you haven’t heard me rant, I’m a tattoo artist/piercer. Honestly, this shit grosses me out. I hate the big, floppy ears. I think neck tattoos are trashy. I gag over the thought of oral piercings. But that’s just me. I’m pretty much not into being a circus freak, I just like what I do, and I don’t think having this kind of shit done to yourself gives you any cred, in or out of the industry. I don’t knock it, there are a lot of people who think the idea of a woman tattooing her arms is disgusting, so, I guess a lot of people would find me objectionable. Fair enough. However, all I have to do is put on a pair of jeans and a hoodie and I look as square as square can be.
.
Do women dig guys like this? Yes. Why? He represents danger, excitement, and he will piss off her father A LOT. And that’s why we drag home these coughed-up hairballs. They represent an escape from our doldrums, something to gossip about at the bank job Monday, and what gives Daddy the heebie-jeebies. In the fifties, it was guys with pompadours and leather jackets. In the seventies it was dudes with long hair and flares. Today, it’s this guy. Women have always sought out the newest, scariest, edgiest thing. Because a guy who only looks like a fuckup is better than a buttoned-down exec who beats you with a belt for not making his martini the right way. So that explains why this squeaky-clean cheerleader is with this dude. He’s so much edgier than Brad, the insurance salesman. Daddy really liked Brad.
.
In the industry, we refer to these guys as “scrotum ears”. and when they take those truck rims out, we call them “linguini ears”. I give him a notta, but I will say, sorry, Buddy, but your ears are gross. However, make a chihuahua jump through them and all will be forgiven.
Fuck you, MBT shoes.
.
Made By ‘Tards
For some reason I want to buy some shoes as if it’s been rammed down my throat. Fuck it I’ll buy some, then shove ’em straight up MBT shoes’ ass. Maligned Bloody Taint.
@Vin
I checked out the Carrie Keagan pics. Very nice, totally not fair. Not sure I’ve seen or heard of her before. I need to change that. I’m in love.
she has cheekbones to die for.
and by ‘die for’, I mean ‘ejaculate on’.
WHO FUCCEN SUMMONS ME??
/
AND WHYY DO IS UDDENLY FWANT A WHOLE SHITLOADO F VCUCEN NEW SHOES?@!
Re: Vin’s hot comic gal,
I’ve seen her before–she’s that semi-hott comic who uses her sexuality as comic schtick. Doesn’t she go by the name “Chelsea Handler?” No? Oh, wait a minute… I must be confused…
PS. DB1, while you’re busy counting votes on Elizabeth’s HoH nomination, go ahead and file away Suzy here for December under the category “GND.” We haven’t had one of these in a while, and I think she’d be a viable contender.
.
If you’ll excuse me now, I must go squeeze my cockk ring into my nostril…
“Incite full”? Really, f*ckers? Take more goddamn meds…
GAWD, the shoes links are g.o.n.e. TYVM.
Now, back to the loops, er, uh, hoops.
My li’l sis used to bring home kewpie-type dolls and hoops with plastic parrots swinging on them, all tied to sticks, from the state fair, back in the 50’s.
We’ve come a long way in 2010,and the parrots have wisely “flown the hoop” rather than be seen on a douchetwat.
In HCWDB there is the “Holy Triangle” for the hotts….and then there is the “Hole-y Circle” for douchebags.
When somebody tell a douchebag to “go stick it in your ear” the evidence suggests that they were referring to a donkey dong.
PETA won’t even know what to do with this one.
Based on the length of his face, and the shortened height of his cranium, it is my firm belief that his cerebrum made a quick exit through the large hole in his ear.
Suzy owes us all an explanation.
@Vin,
Thanks for the link man, I gotta go check out some of her stand up. If she’s as funny as she is HOTT she will not disappoint.
@Medusa
I have to say that I am one of those rare people that just doesn’t get the whole tattoo thing. I don’t judge and I have mad respect for the artists themselves, but I just don’t get it.
First off, I can’t imagine loving anything so much at this moment in my life, 30-years-old, that I have to permanently draw it on my skin to have it look like shit when I’m 55. I’m a father, I have a mother, and I love them all dearly, but tattooing something like there name or some shit on my skin, don’t think so. I would never want my daughter to tattoo my name or something on her skin, why would I tattoo hers on mine? I believe in leading by example.
I guess my biggest tattoo deterrent though would be my scars. See when I was eight I was severely burned, 3rd degree, on my legs. This left scars all over my legs and my back, from where they took the donor skin, that I will never get rid off. I’m not ashamed of my scars or anything like that, but they are something that I will have on my body for the rest of my life, it’s permanent and I’ve had them since I was 8. So, I guess I just have a firm understanding of what permanent is and I have nothing to prove, especially in the can I take pain category. I feel that most people, not all people, get tattoos in order to conform to todays norm. I don’t think I have one friend that doesn’t have a tattoo.
I don’t know what are your thoughts on this?
@ Chaser ^
Ah, you know, it’s one of those “to each his own” things for me. I swore up and down I’d NEVER get a tattoo. and here I am, thirteen years in the biz now and covered with ’em myself. So the mystique has been taken out of them for me, the mystery is gone, soccer moms are getting them now, so that “badass” appeal is totally lost on me now. That being said, I don’t take it all that seriously. If I think about it really hard, it is kind of a dumb thing to do to yourself, really. On the other hand, you only live once, so WTF? I’m the spitting image of Grandma Oblongata, so I have a living representation of what I’ll look like at 88 years old. I’ll be a withered, veiny bag of bones. So, I’ll already look like shit. I don’t imagine I’ll be prancing around in tank tops and shorts when the backs of my arms look like melted chickens and osteoarthritis had mane pine trees of my legs. So, i figure, I’ll be looking shitty anyway, what’s the difference if I have some mushy green blobs all over my skin. I just turned 36 the other day, and the tattoos on my legs hide the spider veins that are appearing, so that’s a bonus 😉
.
I’ve said it in here before; I don’t think tattoos make anyone rebellious or special or unique, it’s just another kind of nonconformity by way of conformity. I’m pretty sure I look stupid, I’ve never been a really hot chick and tattooing myself has not done anything to get me closer to being one. That being said, I have fun with it, I expect people to think i look like trouble, and I don’t get all huffy and pissy that people “don’t accept it”. My mother was outraged about it at first, now she rather likes it and brags to her church friends that her daughter is a tattoo artist “Just like Ami James on TV”. Meh. Turns out I ended up working on a few of them myself.
.
For some people it is a big deal and a catharsis. i’ve had more than one weeping woman in my chair getting her “freedom” tattoo when her husband left her,or a memorial for their dead child (those make me cry), women getting pink ribbons on the spot where their breast used to be….for some people it’s a very powerful reclamation of self and I’m proud to be a part of that. For a lot of people. though, it’s about trying to be a badass or get pussy or whatever. Double meh. It pays my bills and I’m grateful to do something I really like and I’m not a “starving” artist.
.
That being said, i find it rather refreshing when people don’t have tattoos. I don’t look down on it, that’s also a choice and I respect that. I don’t always think getting a tattoo is trying to prove something, and I don’t think not getting one is, either. It’s just what it is. A lot of people wrinkle their noses and say they’d never do it, and I’m glad for that. I’m glad that people know this isn’t for them, because a lot of people do it to prove something, or to attract (or repel) someone and then later realize that it was a stupid idea. I don’t regret any of mine. Every now and then I get a little self-conscious about it, like if I go into a nice restaurant and people gawk at me, but it’s a choice I made and I have to live with that. If I’m at the store, people will come up to me and grab my arm to get a better look. I had a woman reach over and pull up my skirt to see the top of my leg. Had i not had an armload of cosmetics, i would have knocked her out cold. But it’s something you invite when you have them, you’ve made a spectacle of yourself and now you have to live with the consequences of that choice.
.
I guess that’s about it. I’m not mad at anyone for not liking it or not wanting one. They’re not for everyone and if everyone had them, it would be even stupider than it already is. But I don’t take it all that seriously, I have a tattoo of a sandwich, fer chrissakes. But I’m a fucking goof, I always will be, and I’m embracing it. And i have a swell guy who loves me and my inky hide (and he’s been abusing the free tattoo privilege for sure!) so it’s all good in the ‘hood. and being burned all over your body makes you so badass, that getting a tattoo would be like getting a pedicure after winning an ass-beating contest. 🙂
I won an ass-eating contest once.
It must be a regional thing. Here, in the mossy confines of the Pacific Northwest, guys like SuperLobe are the chief predators of legitimate douchebags. If you’re lucky, you can catch a glimpse of one of these ‘bag-eaters hiding in the alley by Hung Far Low, waiting for a drunk choadwank to stumble out of Barracuda and make the fatal mistake of fumbling with his keys to his Scion by a sputtering streetlight.
.
And yes, there really is a Chinese restaurant called Hung Far Low here, and douche ground zero really is called Barracuda.
First off, @ Anthony
.
Congrats on the contest… I think, because that all depends on who the asses belonged to.. lol
.
@ Medusa
.
I could see the dead kid or breast cancer thing and that f’in rocks. Not that the kid died, or that they got cancer, but the memorial of the event. I agree, to each there own and like I said I don’t judge. I’m not a bad ass, well OK I am, but I hate attention. I don’t get the people walking up looking at my legs and stuff in the store when I wear shorts. I get to catch the staring, but not trying to stare, from a distance LMAO… I feel bad for them, and I know they “THINK” they make me feel uncomfortable or something. I love the innocents of kids because they will come right out and ask what the hell happened to you… lol the looks on the parents faces are priceless.
.
I have been into many tattoo shops looking around, been with friends when they got theirs, it’s no big thing. I actually designed a cross tattoo and went to the appointment to have it done. The artist called in sick that day, and I don’t remember exactly what happened but the owner was a total dick to me. I had drove in from out of town to get it done, and the guy was just rude as hell, so I swore I’d never go back to his shop and I never have. I took that as a sign or something I guess and never had it done. My ex went and got a bunch of tattoos when we split. She didn’t have any when we were married. She just got a flower behind ear the other day, it looks like shit. She’s going to college right now for computer business and thinks she’s going to land some office job. Small west Texas town like we live in there’s no way. She’s got them on her wrist, ring finger, legs, and now neck. I hate to say it, but I work in an office and businesses just don’t like hiring people that have visible tattoos. haha, her ring finger is the initials ABJ from some dumb ass douchebag she dated for all of about five minutes after I left her cheating ass. She sure showed me… LMAO
.
Any who, keep fightin that good fight and making that fortune off of stupid little bitches like my ex. Like I said I have mad respect for the artists and wish I had those skills.
^Vin, awesome link…you have started the foundation of a beautiful dream where she and Chelsea Handler are making a G sandwich, and for some reason when they take turns blowing me, I can’t help but laugh…but I digress…
I think Superlobe actually inserts paper targets, like the ones from the BB gun midway game, and on alternating Thursdays, invites his fellow douchebags over and he plays the bukkaki target…Suzy, she deserves better.