Wednesday, September 8, 2010
The Abercrombag
Mellonic potato head pudster pollutes pool area while Clarissa’s curves inspire Grey’s Papaya to create a new juice in her honor.
Yup.
No idea what I’m saying.
It’s early. I blame the tasty box of Malomars I ate last night while watching TiVo’d Children’s Hospital.
Mmm… Clarissa. I would swan dive through a pool of helium afflicted angry crustaceans just for the chance to sniff the sweat-infused towelette left behind after you had to go really bad at a neighborhood Denny’s.
As we head into Fall, hopefully there will be less photos of poolbaggery. Clarissa is hot in a girl next door way which is rare these days. Abercrombag is just another narcissistic automaton/sheep worshiping at the feet of mass marketed merchandising.
Clarissa is wonderful.
Abercrombag is chunderful.
…and I’m willing to bet he has a lower back tramp stamp. He’s so cool.
Clarissa has a Winnie Cooper vibe going on. Fwap.
Meanwhile, from the Department of the Obvious:
Snooki…..”annoying”?
To the kid in the background asking her Mom whether to pour the hot oil on Abercrombag’s head and light it on fire… the answer is “Yes.”
At least no one left a doodie floating in the pool…
Toolio.
This just in….BP says spill “not just our fault”. Yeah, I know…..it’s mine, for buying gas.
Speaking of petroleum products….Abercrombag.
He has “*D” tattooed on his chest to help remind him how to delete his voicemail messages. I wonder where he tatted his PIN?
Mmm. Clarissa appears light on her feet. And by her feet, I mean her back.
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Why didn’t they shrink the font a little on those letters; they could have fit the whole word on those shorts quite easily. They must be pretty stupid over there at Abercrombie.
Mmmmm…. Denny’s 🙂
The Mid-West Taintly Poolbag and Hottie Mihn Ti from Vietnam. What an odd pairing.
Beauty and the Yeast.
An above the junk tramp stamp on a dude?! If its purpose is to distract the ladies from his shrunken testicles then I guess its for the best. If not, gaybag for sure.
The gal has a great belly button and stomach.
The rest, I’d fuck her and marry her and brag about it, but no HoH, or anything.
Under that belly tatt is an anus that DarkSock will NOT pee in.
Roger that, Scrotato.
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Nice call on the Winnie Cooper look, BagWagger
I would squeeze the infected anal sac of a sleeping grizzly bear while beating its cub with a sack of D batteries while wearing summer sausage underwear, while the Crocodile Hunter’s widow Pam Dawber (of “Mork and Mindy) looked on disapprovingly just for the chance to smell the ass of her neighbor’s beagle in the off chance that he got into her garbage and ate one of her discarded panty liners.
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HoH….?
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I wonder whatever happened to that guy that played Mork from Ork? Nanoo nanoo…that still kills me.
WOW, she’s a clean-as-a-whistle sleek and slender yet curvy hott in a nice bikini (wife’s fave color, no less) with no fake boobs. What is this lovely breath of fresh air doing with this mirror-bespectacled jar-head tatted Abercrombiie&Fitch ad-wank?
Making sure this site gets a clear-cut classic pairing, that’s what.
And plenty of ops for me to use hyphens and run-on adjectives.
I would launch a frontal attack on a Hell’s Angels rally dressed only in argyle socks and wielding only an enraged Rabbi’s badger just for the privilege of eating a sandwich made from her father’s back hair, just so our DNA could co-mingle.
I would pack a dead mule with Cheez Whiz, mount a V8 hemi on it and successfully pull off Evel Knievel’s attempt to jump the grand canyon, without first seeking permission from the proper authorities, just for the change to watch her apply her underarm deodorant.
The completion of that tatt below the belt line states, “If you let me cum in your mouth I’ll let you cum in mine”
The “D” tattoo on his right pec is for DOUCHEBAG! At least they’re labeling correctly now.
DarkSock was right, Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I would eat the dead m… awe fuck it. I ain’t topping a Mork and Mindy reference so I ain’t gonna try.
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Fucking work.
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DarkSock, you want to come watch my shop while I finish my kitchen remodeling? It’s real easy. You just sit in a dimly lit office, hunched over a keyboard, typing limericks and haikus on HCwDB while a small army of drafters and designers try to create as many future change orders as possible for you to deal with once you get into construction.
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Deal?
Damn Girl!
I would punch that dude right in the shazbot while wearing rainbow suspenders and a New York Jets t-shirt and reading aloud a heartfelt and meaningful recollection of my youth as my best friend crash lands on me in a huge egg spaceship before using my tongue as a tissue for his post nazal drip and cutting off my scrotum with his horned rim glasses just for the off chance that no one would ridicule me for buying a mathematics-for-girls book just to have a picture of Winnie to fwap to.
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And the tatt on the small of his shaved lower back says “Death Before Dishonor”.
Crucial, I am banned from personally working on home improvements since MY 1997 kitchen renovation which took over one year and yielded a product inferior to the original. Not my fault I was allowed to operate power tools drunk…
@ Eliza Douchecoo
I’ll bet his tramp stamp is of a cute little mushroom.
He didn’t have enough cash to get “erp” after the “D” on his chest.
I just realized what this choad is good for. I bent the copper bristles on my barrel brush while cleaning my 9mm (fuccen shitty Federal ammo). I’ll get a bowling pin and behead him with it and then I’ll be able to get all that carbon and powder out. Wow, I think I might need to take out some work frustration on something. Don’tcha think?
I dunno–maybe it’s unfortunate timing, but this chick looks a little too much like the Al Jolson “hott” in the last pic for me to get excited about. I need to see her in better light and without the sunglasses. And by that I mean “naked in the dark.”
If Clarissa doesn’t make the break from hanging with this chodes, and others like him, it won’t be long before she ruins herself with a fake rack and tatts.
“Mmm… Clarissa. I would swan dive through a pool of helium afflicted angry crustaceans just for the chance to sniff the sweat-infused towelette left behind after you had to go really bad at a neighborhood”
Count me in on that.
Winnie Cooper ditched Kevin Arnold and is tainted by douche!!! I weep and pray that this douche has not de-flowered the lovely Winnie Cooper and left Axe pomade on her tender thighs.
I’ll flat out say it. I’m gay. I’m not a douche. Why is it that all these guys sport the same tattoos that the guys I watch fuck on porn wear? lol
You think it sucks missing out on ass-pear? Try having to find a hot guy that isn’t a total douche. LOL.
^Good point. This guy is ridiculous. She is slender and hott!!! VERY NICE!!!
^Speaking only for myself, I am not gay. But these guys are still douchebags, gay or straight.
But I’m not gay.
I swear.
No, really.
what that kid behind him really ought to do is quickly pull his shorts down and run real fast…
Clarissa will be able to sleep her way to Vice President of Operations in Nevada just with that body and that professional smile.
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not that i would cheer her on for doing that though. unless i was one of the beneficiaries of her “sleep your way to t3h top” journey.
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just admitting that renders me unable to use the word “beneficiary” for the rest of the year. because that word is now unspeakably dirty. and it’s all my fault.
The idea of the groin tat becoming a ‘bag tag staple is mortifying, but that said Clarissa deserves HoH consideration.