Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Abercrombag

Mellonic potato head pudster pollutes pool area while Clarissa’s curves inspire Grey’s Papaya to create a new juice in her honor.

Yup.

No idea what I’m saying.

It’s early. I blame the tasty box of Malomars I ate last night while watching TiVo’d Children’s Hospital.

Mmm… Clarissa. I would swan dive through a pool of helium afflicted angry crustaceans just for the chance to sniff the sweat-infused towelette left behind after you had to go really bad at a neighborhood Denny’s.

# posted by douchebag1
7:20 am September, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

As we head into Fall, hopefully there will be less photos of poolbaggery. Clarissa is hot in a girl next door way which is rare these days. Abercrombag is just another narcissistic automaton/sheep worshiping at the feet of mass marketed merchandising.

7:20 am September, 8 Wheezer said...

Clarissa is wonderful.
Abercrombag is chunderful.

7:31 am September, 8 Eliza Douchecoo said...

…and I’m willing to bet he has a lower back tramp stamp. He’s so cool.

7:33 am September, 8 bagwagger said...

Clarissa has a Winnie Cooper vibe going on. Fwap.

7:38 am September, 8 Wheezer said...

Meanwhile, from the Department of the Obvious:

Snooki…..”annoying”?

7:39 am September, 8 boatbutter said...

To the kid in the background asking her Mom whether to pour the hot oil on Abercrombag’s head and light it on fire… the answer is “Yes.”

7:40 am September, 8 I R A Darth Aggie said...

At least no one left a doodie floating in the pool…

7:41 am September, 8 Wedgie said...

Toolio.

7:42 am September, 8 Wedgie said...

This just in….BP says spill “not just our fault”. Yeah, I know…..it’s mine, for buying gas.
Speaking of petroleum products….Abercrombag.

7:47 am September, 8 Mr. White said...

He has “*D” tattooed on his chest to help remind him how to delete his voicemail messages. I wonder where he tatted his PIN?

7:50 am September, 8 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Mmm. Clarissa appears light on her feet. And by her feet, I mean her back.
.
Why didn’t they shrink the font a little on those letters; they could have fit the whole word on those shorts quite easily. They must be pretty stupid over there at Abercrombie.

7:55 am September, 8 chaserofthehott said...

Mmmmm…. Denny’s 🙂

8:02 am September, 8 mr.reeve said...

The Mid-West Taintly Poolbag and Hottie Mihn Ti from Vietnam. What an odd pairing.

8:15 am September, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Beauty and the Yeast.

8:23 am September, 8 Nancy Dreuche said...

An above the junk tramp stamp on a dude?! If its purpose is to distract the ladies from his shrunken testicles then I guess its for the best. If not, gaybag for sure.

8:30 am September, 8 Douchble Helix said...

The gal has a great belly button and stomach.

The rest, I’d fuck her and marry her and brag about it, but no HoH, or anything.

8:36 am September, 8 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Under that belly tatt is an anus that DarkSock will NOT pee in.

8:41 am September, 8 DarkSock said...

Roger that, Scrotato.
.
Nice call on the Winnie Cooper look, BagWagger

8:46 am September, 8 DarkSock said...

I would squeeze the infected anal sac of a sleeping grizzly bear while beating its cub with a sack of D batteries while wearing summer sausage underwear, while the Crocodile Hunter’s widow Pam Dawber (of “Mork and Mindy) looked on disapprovingly just for the chance to smell the ass of her neighbor’s beagle in the off chance that he got into her garbage and ate one of her discarded panty liners.
.
HoH….?
.
I wonder whatever happened to that guy that played Mork from Ork? Nanoo nanoo…that still kills me.

9:08 am September, 8 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

WOW, she’s a clean-as-a-whistle sleek and slender yet curvy hott in a nice bikini (wife’s fave color, no less) with no fake boobs. What is this lovely breath of fresh air doing with this mirror-bespectacled jar-head tatted Abercrombiie&Fitch ad-wank?
Making sure this site gets a clear-cut classic pairing, that’s what.
And plenty of ops for me to use hyphens and run-on adjectives.

9:20 am September, 8 Amish WomanPlant said...

I would launch a frontal attack on a Hell’s Angels rally dressed only in argyle socks and wielding only an enraged Rabbi’s badger just for the privilege of eating a sandwich made from her father’s back hair, just so our DNA could co-mingle.

9:23 am September, 8 DarkSock said...

I would pack a dead mule with Cheez Whiz, mount a V8 hemi on it and successfully pull off Evel Knievel’s attempt to jump the grand canyon, without first seeking permission from the proper authorities, just for the change to watch her apply her underarm deodorant.

9:24 am September, 8 Vin Douchal said...

The completion of that tatt below the belt line states, “If you let me cum in your mouth I’ll let you cum in mine”

9:50 am September, 8 Mark said...

The “D” tattoo on his right pec is for DOUCHEBAG! At least they’re labeling correctly now.

9:58 am September, 8 Medusa Oblongata said...

DarkSock was right, Ambien is a hell of a drug.

10:10 am September, 8 Crucial Head said...

I would eat the dead m… awe fuck it. I ain’t topping a Mork and Mindy reference so I ain’t gonna try.
.
Fucking work.
.
DarkSock, you want to come watch my shop while I finish my kitchen remodeling? It’s real easy. You just sit in a dimly lit office, hunched over a keyboard, typing limericks and haikus on HCwDB while a small army of drafters and designers try to create as many future change orders as possible for you to deal with once you get into construction.
.
Deal?

10:24 am September, 8 Douchey Smurf said...

Damn Girl!

10:35 am September, 8 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I would punch that dude right in the shazbot while wearing rainbow suspenders and a New York Jets t-shirt and reading aloud a heartfelt and meaningful recollection of my youth as my best friend crash lands on me in a huge egg spaceship before using my tongue as a tissue for his post nazal drip and cutting off my scrotum with his horned rim glasses just for the off chance that no one would ridicule me for buying a mathematics-for-girls book just to have a picture of Winnie to fwap to.
.
And the tatt on the small of his shaved lower back says “Death Before Dishonor”.

10:40 am September, 8 DarkSock said...

Crucial, I am banned from personally working on home improvements since MY 1997 kitchen renovation which took over one year and yielded a product inferior to the original. Not my fault I was allowed to operate power tools drunk…

10:40 am September, 8 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@ Eliza Douchecoo
I’ll bet his tramp stamp is of a cute little mushroom.

10:44 am September, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

He didn’t have enough cash to get “erp” after the “D” on his chest.

10:47 am September, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I just realized what this choad is good for. I bent the copper bristles on my barrel brush while cleaning my 9mm (fuccen shitty Federal ammo). I’ll get a bowling pin and behead him with it and then I’ll be able to get all that carbon and powder out. Wow, I think I might need to take out some work frustration on something. Don’tcha think?

11:07 am September, 8 Mr. White said...

I dunno–maybe it’s unfortunate timing, but this chick looks a little too much like the Al Jolson “hott” in the last pic for me to get excited about. I need to see her in better light and without the sunglasses. And by that I mean “naked in the dark.”

11:49 am September, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

If Clarissa doesn’t make the break from hanging with this chodes, and others like him, it won’t be long before she ruins herself with a fake rack and tatts.

12:06 pm September, 8 Claude Douchenburg said...

“Mmm… Clarissa. I would swan dive through a pool of helium afflicted angry crustaceans just for the chance to sniff the sweat-infused towelette left behind after you had to go really bad at a neighborhood”

Count me in on that.

1:09 pm September, 8 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Winnie Cooper ditched Kevin Arnold and is tainted by douche!!! I weep and pray that this douche has not de-flowered the lovely Winnie Cooper and left Axe pomade on her tender thighs.

3:19 pm September, 8 Angel said...

I’ll flat out say it. I’m gay. I’m not a douche. Why is it that all these guys sport the same tattoos that the guys I watch fuck on porn wear? lol

You think it sucks missing out on ass-pear? Try having to find a hot guy that isn’t a total douche. LOL.

5:19 pm September, 8 Sack O Douche said...

^Good point. This guy is ridiculous. She is slender and hott!!! VERY NICE!!!

7:51 pm September, 8 Wedgie said...

^Speaking only for myself, I am not gay. But these guys are still douchebags, gay or straight.
But I’m not gay.
I swear.
No, really.

9:03 pm September, 8 Stephanie said...

what that kid behind him really ought to do is quickly pull his shorts down and run real fast…

10:18 pm September, 8 Steve L. said...

Clarissa will be able to sleep her way to Vice President of Operations in Nevada just with that body and that professional smile.

not that i would cheer her on for doing that though. unless i was one of the beneficiaries of her “sleep your way to t3h top” journey.

just admitting that renders me unable to use the word “beneficiary” for the rest of the year. because that word is now unspeakably dirty. and it’s all my fault.

10:13 pm September, 9 Donny Douche said...

The idea of the groin tat becoming a ‘bag tag staple is mortifying, but that said Clarissa deserves HoH consideration.

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