Vegas Ass Kicker Says We Can Eat His Ass And We All Will Not Get No Pass
HCwDB’s most recent douchebag poet emeritus, Vegas Ass Kicker, contributes more to his expanding work of postmodern critique:
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Fresh up out of bed and just got done getten some head. I am sure you little working class faggots are hard at work while I am out here runnin a muck. You see I aint no DJ and I aint no MC. But mutha f#ckas still want to flow like me. Yo sh#t is wack and my sh#t is dope. If you keep on steppen I am gonna have to hang you from a rope. This sh#t won’t stop and it will not quit. Like my nagga Hammer said I am 2 legit 2 quit.
Yep, out all night partyin and playin. That’s what I do and that’s how I roll. You call me a troll but I am hear for all the “douche bags” and “dickheads” who you little bloggen faggots call out. We are the real sh#t and you is the wack sh#t. Yall can eat my ass. And yall will not get no pass. VEGAS THUGZ BITCHES!!!! We gonna stomp dat ass!
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I once ordered the nagga hammer at Sushi Nozawa. It was excellent.
Nagga….because misspelling it means you’re less of a racist/poser.
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I suspect this pic contains a strong contender for most expensive first date hott. And I’d pay. She pleasantly reminds me of Maxine Bahns, who was the only reason to watch that “Brothers McMullen” or whatever the hell that movie was called. I refuse to give it any more legitimacy by actually searching for the correct title.
I am at work, thus I am working class. A clear logical assumption. I guess I could suggest that both the heinously poor AND the disgustingly rich occasionally have over-lapping work schedules. But what do I know, I’m just working class.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a trust fund baby with a possession charge that I need to get back to billing $500 an hour.
I pray this is just one of the regs fucking with us all because if it’s not…
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Speaking about eating ass, I’d have to imagine if this pole smoker is “fo’ realz” it’s only a matter of time before he’s busted for dealing meth and is doing a lot of salad tossing in the pen. Somehow I don’t think he’ll be shooting his mouth off quite as much. And it won’t just be because it’s constantly filled with cock.
Troll. Troll. Troll. Vegas Mass Sliver, I see you ran out of “dope shit” to write on the site or are you in jail? I vote for both. Nice MC Hammer reference by the way. Nothing says “VEGAS THUGZ” like MC Hammer, yo!
BEH for HoH, there I said it, it’s out there.
This turd can’t be for real right? His rhymes were weak and flaccid. He’ll never make it in the music industry. However I do see a bright future in the food and beverage cart industry for a guy with his qualifications.
Meh. This has all been done before
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obviously ran out of ideas rhyming “quit” with “quit”. Might i suggest an alternative:
“This sh#t won’t stop and it will not quit. Like my nagga Hammer said when he was poking my sh#t”
“Yo sh#t is wack and my sh#t is dope.” How is sh#t dope? I thought all sh#t was wack?
This does not bode well for Western Civilization. Not the post. The fact that I will have 2 Legit 2 Quit stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Hey Hay.
Remember the days when being called “thug” actually meant something? Now little sissy boys declare themselves “thugz”.
I tried gotten some head this morning. No luck though, wife wanted to sleep late.
like hard, unchewable steak…
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this makes me nostalgic for rants that are actually funny.
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I just hope VAK sticks around for tomorrow’s Wednesday Limerick. He’s got the Rhymes. But can he complete an entire stanza?
J.R.R. Tolkien originally had an entire race called “The Little Bloggen Faggots” in The Lord of the Rings. They mostly just ran around peeing in the Ents’ wooden, splintery butts. Sadly, his publishers made him take it all out.
Question for the panel: Who would you rather be stuck in an elevator for 6 hours with: Vegas Ass Kicker or Brazilian Emo Hulk?
Referencing the long forgotten MC Hammer places this troll’s age at 40+. That narrows the field of reg suspects down by half.
Is Emo Hulk brown-hued enough to make it into the Closet of Poo, where he can terrorize Mammy Miami for eternity?
I was sure that VAK was a trolling regular, but I am not so certain anymore…
“runnin a muck” …Bwahhahahaa!!
“Yall can eat my ass” He says it likes it’s an invite. Gay as he looks.
This is the same guy that told me he wanted to tounge punch my fart box.
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Although flattered, I told him I don’t swing that way.
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ASvB
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ps true story
Troll? I don’t know. Vegas Pudwack put some thought into those crappy lyrics. I have to admit I chuckled at some of the ridiculous sayings. Lots of ass and shit in those lyrics. I am thinking English major for sure.
@soy bomb, BEH would crush my head like a grape. VAK is a pud. I’ll take VAK.
Vegas Ass Kicker’s so gay he can tell the sex of the gerbils in his ass just by kegeling.
I never thought I’d say it, but this guy makes me miss Jason Stackhouse.
I also will spend the rest of my day trying to get “2 legit 2 quit” out of my head. As well as the visual of Deion Sanders & MC Hammer throwing those stupid finger-signs that went along with the phrase back when Deion played for the Falcons.
*plugs fingers in ears, squints eyes shut, and sings “la-la-la-la-la” for remainder of day*
Sung to the tune of Viva Las Vegas, in the key of Jello Biafra.
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Vegas Ass Kicker
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Bright light city gonna set his junk
Gonna set his junk on fire
Got a wad of dad’s money that’s ready to burn,
So raise those skirts up higher
There’s a thousand skanky women strippin’ out there
Milkin’ his cockk and state welfare
He and his thug bitches got shit to share
Vegas Ass Kicker, Vegas Ass Kicker
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How he needs those filthy whores
Takin’ all his money each day
‘Cause even if he was on Jersey Shore
He’d still be paying to play
Oh, there’s hand jobs and blow jobs and the lapdance feel
At fifty bucks a pop it’s a f*ckin’ steal
For twenty dollars more they make him piggy squeal
Vegas Ass Kicker, Vegas Ass Kicker
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Vegas Ass Kicker with your lame threats crashin’
And your weak will flushin’
All your hopes and dreams down the drain
Vegas Ass Kicker quotin’ Hammer in weak rhymes
Spellin’ shit wrong every time
If you dare him to
He’ll run a muck again
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He’s gonna keep on the run
And boast his life’s full of fun
Though it costs him his very last dime
When he ends up broke
He’ll cry and say his life was better than mine
He’s gonna give it everything he’s got
But what he’s got is not a lot
In simple terms he’s just a twat
Vegas Ass Kicker, Vegas Ass Kicker, Vegas Ass Kicker
Vegas, Vegas Ass Kicker
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Thank you, thank you very little.
Vegas Ass Kicker’s so gay his toilet paper is flavored.
Excellent work, Scrotato; although I’m sure the concept of “parodies” is over his head.
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Unless you’re talking about a “pair o’ deez” nutz on his chin.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay his butt plug has a winch.
@Mr. Head, good work. Heh!
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay his shit is dope. What?
I don’t know about you guys but I’m really starting to “like” him. Hey, hey. An M.C. Hammer reference in 2010? VAK, I would be honored to introduce you to my gramma, who ironically was too legit, too legit to knit. Hey. Hey.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay his feather boa has a feather boa.
@soy bomb, 10:19 a.m. –
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Can’t we just put the two of them in an elevator together for 6 hours? Cameras rolling, of course, until things get…..ummmmm, “bromantic.”
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That kinda reminds me of the old joke about “there’s gonna be dancin’, drinkin’, fightin’, and fuccen,” but where there’s only the two guys attending. I don’t know why I remember that from my grade school days. Damn pervert social studies teacher…..
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Huh?
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay he sharts pink fedoras with AIDS.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay he has a season pass to the Liberace museum.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so boring that I will go back to SEO for my business site.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay he blew Jim Nabors and Errol Flynn.
Vegas Ass Rimmer is so gay the original glory hole doily was patterned after his face.
Vegas Ass Rimmer is so gay he wants to be reincarnated as Wind so he can blow everybody.
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OK, I need an editor sometimes…
Vegas Ass Rimmer is so gay he has to clench when on the barstool just so he can keep eye contact with the bartender.
Hey, hey VAK. MC SkatCat called. He wants his ryhmes back.
Vegas Ass Rimmer is so gay the only sound his farts make is *whufff*
Haggis Ass Stuffer is so gay, he frightened Adam Lambert out of the closet.
Vegas Ass Rimmer is so gay when he sprints it sounds like someone holding an empty bottle out of a car window
Vegas Ass Licker is so gay he makes Little Richard look butch.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay he will not give no blowjobs.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay the tank on his “out here runnin a muck” truck is pink.
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Someone has to pump out those portapotties, right?
Vegas Ass Licker is so gay he has to tone down the look to dress up for Christmas.
I once ran a Muck, too. I believe it was right hear on the North Slope.
Vegas Ass Licker is so gay his asshole swoons whenever he watches a worm scene in Dune.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay he shits glitter.
Vegas Ass Kisser is so gay Chris Crocker thinks he’s too over the top.
(remember him? “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!”…)
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay he had to go to the ER to have a MC Hammer removed from his ass.
*Unplugs ears and stops squinting eyes long enough to type this*
VAK is so gay he copyrighted the phrase “Can I push in your stool?”
*resumes singing “la-la-la-la-la*
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay Siegfried and Roy ar scared of his HIV infected cockk.
Forgot to mention the hott in this pic is really hott.
Since Vegas Ass Kicker hasn’t raised his ugly head so we can see what he looks like, I’m forced to speculate.
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Is this VAK?
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Vegas Ass Ripper is so gay the leading end of his turds all look like the nose of a Sabre jet:
Vegas Ass Plunderer is so gay that he gets hard whenever he walks by a manhole.
Vegas Ass Rimmer is so gay he uses the hall of poo for wack off material.
Or maybe this is Vegas Ass Kicker.
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Vegas Ass Pounder is so gay that when he leaves a reply to a post about douchebags he invites a group of strangers to “…eat my ass.”
Gayjizz Ass Licker is so gay, he makes Rip Taylor sound like Darth Vader.
Vegas Pass Stickler is so gay, the neighbors’ picket fences keep mysteriously turning brown overnight.
Vegas Grass Pickler is so gay, he showed up in Europe looking for this “Hardon Collider”.
@ Medusa O.
Really brought your good stuff with the hardon collider.
I believe he ran a train on his “Channel Tunnel” to get there.
I was raised in a working class family. Although by using the term ‘working class’ I need to point out that I’m using it as a description that belonged to a different era. i.e., both my parents worked. I’m unsure of how it is in your neck of the woods fellow bag mockers from the US. But in Australia we have a welfare system that over the years has actively encouraged laziness. Sure, it’s good to have a safety net for those who find themselves genuinely unemployed and in need of financial assistance. But over here the number of freeloaders who define themselves as ‘working class’ and whose only occupation has been feeding’n’breeding on the dole now spans generations.
Anyway, not quite sure where I’m going with all this. If he were local, I’d call VAL dole bludger in a heartbeat. As he’s not I’m inclined to agree with your suspicions that The Vegas Arse Licker is a phoney.
VAK is so gay Liberace looked at him and said, “What a faggot.”
Vegas Ass Huffer is so gay there’s a restraining order keeping him 500 feet from the bottom of luge runs.
VAK is so gay he tongue darts his own farthole
Vegas Ass Huffer is so gay his butt plug has smaller dicks hot glued onto it.
Did he loose a couple of fingers picking his homeboys rubbers outta his ass?
Running a Muck is douche code for ass tongueing
VAK is so gay he walks everywhere on his toes
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay he’s downright cheerful!
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay he farts with a lisp.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay, Oscar Wilde thinks he’s a dink.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay he’s opening up his own Megachurch:
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The Supashizzle Church of the Dope Sh#t Jebus.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay the Catholic Church won’t even stand up for him.
Vegas Ass Rammer is so GAY:
He can’t walk around naked,
because his poop just FALLS OUT.
Vegas Ass Rammer is so GAY:
Perez Hilton won’t talk to him.
Vegas Ass Rammer is so GAY:
If you put his butt to your ear*
you can hear the ocean.
* Not recommended.
RSvB
Vegas Ass Rammer is so GAY:
Ed Hardy looks masculine on him.
ASvB
Vegas Ass Rammer is so GAY:
When he farts,
You can’t hear any thing.
ASvB
Vegas Ass Rammer is so GAY:
He can make a bowling pin disappear.
-ASvB-
Vegas Ass Rammer is so GAY:
When he sits on a bar stool,
He slides down all the way to the floor.
-ASvB-
Vegas Ass Runny is so gay only elephants can hear him fart.
Vegas Ass Blaster is so gay he needs an industrial water sprayer just to get the cum stains out of his mustache.
Vegas Ass Rammer is so GAY:
He makes hair stylist, florist, makeup artist, and clothing designers vote “NO” on Same-Sex Marriage.
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ASvB
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Vegas Ass Blaster is so gay his chin is permnently stained by bag sweat.
Vegas Ass Rimmer is in a boys locker room window crying and touching himself inappropriate manner right now!
Vegas Ass Rimmer aka Lady Gaga
Yall so gay my dog’s dick is sore from rammen dat ass! BITCHES!!! I like how yall dedicate all this time and typing to the VEGAS THUG. I aint fake. I am the real deal. I got mad lyrics when I get high so yall gonna have to wait fo da masta to return. And one more thang bitches, eat my ass. I know yall like dat invite.
Glad to have ASvB back in town. Makes my multiple posts look like Brazilian Emo Hulk trying to figure out hemorroid donut.
The individuals in the first picture has no tattoos…the guy in the second post does on his right bicep…
Vegas Ass Rammer is so GAY:
When Elton John dies, he’s gonna have him cremated and blended into some very, very, hot chili.
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( wait for it )
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So Elton can tear his ass up one last time.
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ASvB
Vegas Ass Kicker adds “da” and “dat” to his lexicon. I am shamed in my weak-ass attempts to one-up the masterbeater.
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When VAK rolls out a line from Tone Loc we will all have been schooled. Or maybe DJ Jazzy Jeff and the New Fresh Prince. “Each my ass cuz’ parents just don’t understand.”
What a bad ass, using the # in place of vowels in cuss words. He really knows how to f#ck sh#t up.
Actually, Vegas Ass Muncher, it stopped actually being about you, specifically, a while ago. Now we’re mostly having fun coming up with comparisons as to how gay you are.
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Speaking of which…
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Vegas Ass Master is so gay the local grocer has a restraining order keeping him at least 500 feet from the cucumbers and plantains.
Thanks Skrotato Head!!
You make me feel all warm and fuzzy.
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I missed everyone, everyone except, Vegas Ass Mangler.
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ASvB
Pagan Mass Quitter is a true inspiration. i have laughed my ass off at the mock so far.
BTW that is Mr. Kleenex and his ex. kind of like Beckham and Victoria only kleenex is a talentless shit rag van queef stain and his squeezes is hella hotter imo
Vegas Ass Rammer is so GAY:
He understands what Richard Gere went through.
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ASvB
@anonymous
mr kleenex is actually a walking douchebag billboard in that some asian dragon tatt covers his entire back, upper arms and pecks…and possibly scrotum. it is really gay and does nothing to hide his enormous tuscan hook nose, nothing hides that
Vegas Ass Rammer is so GAY:
He truly has, “Been there, done that.”
-ASvB
Vegas Ass Rammer is so GAY:
Even if he’s in Kansas,
He’s not in Kansas anymore.
-ASvB
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay he runs amok when trying to explain to his mom and dad why he hasn’t brought a girl home for dinner in over a decade.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay he runs amok when trying to explain to the cleaning lady why he isn’t gay for her finding sticky photocopied pictures of Brazilian Emo Hulk under his bed.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay he runs amok when trying to antagonize a group of people who don’t give a shit about what people they don’t respect think. (which should be obvious by virtue of the nature of the site)
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay he runs amok when realizing a tranny roofied him, drove him dazed and confused over to a chapel near gavin newsom’s house and then drove him up the anoose with his limp cock and splint made out of jagged rusty salad forks
@CBS
oh…I just noticed in one pic(the first one from 24 Sept) there are people with no tats, and in the other(the one on 28 Sept) the guy has one…just casual oberservation…didn’t notice the hook nose…anyway don’t misunderstand me, his english alone make me think “I must go kill myself now.” I weep for our future………
Vegas Ass Rammer is so GAY:
He makes Prince Poppycock look straight.
-ASvB
Las Vegas is for FAGS and dirtbags. Ooops. I didn’t even want to rhyme. Come to a real city homo like Philly where leaving the table will get you shot and me, the gorilla, and my real thug friends will carve you up with a spoon and dance the dance of destruction on your open guts while we fist pump your whore with a boxing glove while manually distending your mother’s asshole. Faggot!!!!!!
Vegas Ass Rammer is so GAY:
When someone turns his back to you….
You consider it an opportunity.
-ASvB
Vegas Ass Rammer is so GAY:
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Ah, I got nothing.
Back to work I go.
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If you want more, please type,
“ASvB, we want more.”
On a 8 1/2 by 11 inch sheet of paper.
Roll it up into a tight tube, secure with tape,
and ram it up Vegas Ass Kicker’s butt.
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The coroner will contact me.
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Thank you,
ASvB
Vaguest Class Lacker is so gay,
When you look up the word gay in the dictionary
They have some other, less gay person’s picture in there.
Otherwise no one would ever buy the damn thing.
Vegas Ass Licker is so gay, he works at the Vegas zoo pro bono on the weekends. Because the only way he can feel any pleasure in his ass is by being sodomized by an adult sperm whale.
Vegas Ass Pirate is so gay that Lady Gaga told him to take it down a notch.
Vegas Ass Dicker is so gay, he makes Ru Paul look like Black Dynamite.
Vegas Ass Rimmer is so gay, his hemorrhoids have formed a union.
Vegas Lass Licker is so gay, he’s lesbo.
Vegas Ass Sniffer is so gay, the dogs lick his butt before they sniff his crotch.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay, his own boots asked for dressox(.com) just to kick ass up a notch.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay, he took his nagga Hammer to the Nag Hamadi desert site for a kick-sand boy-search.
Vegas Ass Rimmer is so gay, his hemorrhoid union went on strike from all the overtime.
Your Shit is wack,
you cannot rhyme,
you suck giant monkey balls,
while you censor yourself
DOUCHE !3@6
Vegas Ass Vacuum is so gay, he has a restraining order on Bruno.
Vegas asskicker is so gay, NAMBLA impeached him as president
Hes now a member of SAMBLA , he is Mexican you know
wait Vegas Ass Plasterer is even gayer than that.
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Vegas Ass Plumber is so gay, he failed to get a restraining order against Bruno and was consequently raped on a daily basis.
I know, I know!..Mexico is not south america,,,so sue me
Nothing like being last one to leave the party. Vegas was done 2 years ago so it’s fitting that a loser poser douchebag like VAK is still there scraping up the crumbs left behind by those smart enough to have left.
Vegas Ass Poofter is so gay, the Blue Moon Resort lets him stay for free.
I’m assuming be took care to censor out the shits? Looks like his momma brought him up right.
VAK is so gay the Indian Ocean tsunami was actually just one of his cum farts. A small one.
Vegas Ass Rimmer is so gay his nose is permanently brown.
Vegas Ass Pfoot is so gay his prostate is in someone else’s mouth.
Vegas Ass Master is so gay he thinks it’s 1989,still. Yo!
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay he lets Vagas take his money like a whore.
I love how he pulls off the “working class faggots” line. Kinda reminds me of the whole $44 PBR phenomenon in China. Wonder how much he’s schilling for his PBR.
You can swear you know, ‘shit’ isn’t exactly living dangerously. We’re all adults here, you can use the big boy words.
Hey Vegas Ass Kicker,
Happen to notice my comment down at the end of the “My Swagger Sucks” thread? We should make called “My Flow Sucks” just for you and you lousy rapping skills.
See you at industry night for your free bottle.
Poser.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay all of his meals are brunch.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay he replaced baths with foam parties.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay fire hydrants dread the occurence of an earthquake.
Vegas Ass Kicker is so gay his prostate exam revealed Richard Simmons.
A little late coming to this party…but it gave me the best laugh I’ve had in months.
Merci beaucoup to all.
It all started with Dark Sock’s image of the Sabre jet…
wow…
i need to take a deep breath before i puke my guts out.