Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Reader Mail: Heather Tags a Redneckbag
Heather writes in from Florida after snapping this pic at a concert:
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not a visible HCwDB combo since they were hidden by redneck accessories but I thought I’d share with you a strange oversized Lynyrd Skynyrd concert douchebag!
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I’ll forgo the usual hottie/douchey requirements for a first person ‘bag tag of this much hilarity. We don’t get a lot of rural Redneckbags on the site, but they are out there. There just ain’t a lot of hotties in the sticks.
Fucc…even sunburned manatees are going douche. Time to bomb Florida.
My God… what is that… thing?!?
In the daytime, this dude could cause a scrotal eclipse of the sun.
I’m pretty sure this is what redneckbag is singing along to.
Pretty sad that the people outnumber the brain cells in this photo.
Yep, I’m doing just fine… thanks for asking.
Are you sure this wasn’t at the Indianippless 500?
The Jesus ballcap is the cherry on top of a very greasy, nasty douche sundae. It finishes him somehow.
send that piggy to Shatton Moor…he should feel right at home
Ok…who thought about the Stay Puft marshmallow man again?
Not only is Florida arguably the douchiest state in the union, it also boasts one of the most diverse douche ecosystems in the world. In the north, you have rednecktrash bags like the specimens caught here. On the coasts, you have hoards of bra!-style spike-haired beach fratbags. Head south to Miami Beach for the most vacuous greased up satin-shirted fist-pumping clubdouches east of Scottsdale. And Tim Tebow is from Florida. Yes, America’s Festering Wang should be nuked from existence as of yesterday.
Nice fattoos guy. And Jebus H. Christ that hat ya got is quite an endorsement for me to continue to not frequent a church. Also please don’t sit on me.
Dear God, what is that thing?
At leat they were at a good show. Skynyrd kicks ass.
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Unfortunately ,the warm up bands were Dick and the Tractor Fuckers, Cow Afterbirth, Left-Handed Goat Milker, Farmer’s Knocked Up MethHead Daughter, Chesney Chest Shave and Toothless Spitfire
I bet there aren’t many black people at this event. Although there seems to be a rather large contingency of fabulously out there gays. “Does this hat make me look fat? No…your body does.”
Mississippi Mud Humper
Alabama Anal Invader
Mah Bukkit! Have you seen it?
Jabba the Douche!
Miami roided meat head
Tallahassee Turd Taster
The Okeefedouchey Swamp Thing
Okay … SOMEONE got into the Bovine Growth Hormone again.
Hey Hoss! It’s cow tipping! Not cow fucking!
His nipples are so tiny and close together they look like they belong on a ten year old.
Am I the only person who gets aroused by these things?
Yeah he’s pretty cool, but…
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Ok all this really blows!
Check this shit out.
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/10/26/when-costume-disasters-strike-on-halloween/?partner=rss&emc=rss
He’s like a sentient ball of pink chum.
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Wait. Strike the “sentient” part.
@ Southern Scrotic–I see what you did there. Good show, man!
Can’t you smell that smell?
Play Free Turd!
Be a simple kind of man….and by simple, mama meant “IQ in the single digits.”
Sweet home Alabama hot pocket.
Flirtin’ With Disassturd.
Give Me Three Chests.
Turd On Loosely.
Redneckaritaville.
Mr. Creolesote
It looks like Cletus and his trailer park homies were having a rip-snorting time before the monthly Klan meeting.
“The Douche went down to Georgia, he was looking for a boy to squeal.. He was in a bind ‘cos his IQ’s nine, he was willin’ to just cop a feel”
What a large and stupid man. Looks like the rock ape in the khaki Tshirt is going to get some good loving if he can keep trailer park mom on her feet for a little bit longer.
When Skynyrd played “That Smell”..you know this guy sniffed his armpits and crotch.
wait, wait – he looks like a white version of That Thing from Argentina. And I lurv that tat of Momma on his right bicep
@Mr. White:
Thank you for that enlightening link. There are some things in life that I would be perfectly happy not to know. And the definition of “Alabama Hot Pocket” is right up there with “Felching” and “Gerbil Launching” in my book of shit I wish I never heard of. Thanks in advance for this evening’s nightmare.
What is the giant Pink Floyd pig doing at a Lynrd Skynrd concert?
Exactly how many SONIC carhops does it take to feed this guy? Judging from his sunburn, it looks like his friends missed their appointment earlier in the day to roll him over.
what did Heather do to cajole that amorphous blob to POSE for this first person bag tag photo?
wait. i don’t want to know.
DOUCHEHULK MAD!!! MISSED NICKELBACK CONCERT! DOUCHEHULK POINTS TO STAGE AND WANT TO SMASH!!!!!
I can’t help but wonder about that man’s moobs. I mean, are they even moobs? His nipples are some sort of Budweiser Dowsing Rod, searching for half full cans strewn all over the field or something.
He MIGHT be a farm boy gone douche. You see, the hottie to the left is wearing a John Deere cap. Yup, this boar’s been corn-fed on a feed-lot.
Soo-EEEEEEEEEE!
Awesome! Forget old tires, if I had a yacht he’d be the bumper.
It looks like it was spoon fed Creatine powder (aka cretin powder) from a young age.
Originally, there was a third hott in this photo, but good ol’ boy Jabba the Butt couldn’t wait in the concessions line, so he consumed her.
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And her date.
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Jesus bling trucker hat and evil clown bicep tatt… I wonder which church he attends “wif momma ever’ Sundee.”
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The South may not rise again, but my breakfast might.
Having lived in NC now for the better part of 15 years I can say that there are far too many redneck bags out there. Although none that I’ve seen to this ginormism (or whatever, it’s fuccken early). There are plenty of hots in this area though, lots of beaches for the bitches.
I just got an intense craving for one of those Jimmy Dean microwaveable sausage & egg sandwiches. Which is odd, because I have never had one before. I don’t like the effect this pic is having on me.
There just ain’t a lot of hotties in the sticks.
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You just have to know where to look, but they’re there. In this, probably cleverly camoflaged by Jabba the Douche. We see her hat and hand, but that’s it.
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Now the John Deere chick, I wouldn’t hit that with DB1’s schlong.
Yikes! I guess we’ll have to take I R A Darth Aggie’s word for the hott situation in booneyville, since this picture offers no evidence. I believe you, but from the looks of this picture, the Blob is loose in Dixie, and may be swallowing up every attractive person that comes within its field of gravity.
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Better have yourself an escape plan if you go to a Skynyrd concert, Darth.
Stackhouse is from FLORIDA
Actually, Jason M. “Stackhouse” Beinlich from Philly, which also explains Fenton…
When he drives his Rascal down the beer aisle at Wal-Mart, everyone knows to get out of his way.
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