Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Reader Mail: Heather Tags a Redneckbag

Heather writes in from Florida after snapping this pic at a concert:

——–
not a visible HCwDB combo since they were hidden by redneck accessories but I thought I’d share with you a strange oversized Lynyrd Skynyrd concert douchebag!
——–

I’ll forgo the usual hottie/douchey requirements for a first person ‘bag tag of this much hilarity. We don’t get a lot of rural Redneckbags on the site, but they are out there. There just ain’t a lot of hotties in the sticks.

# posted by douchebag1
3:08 pm October, 26 Fatness said...

Fucc…even sunburned manatees are going douche. Time to bomb Florida.

3:11 pm October, 26 Evil Otto said...

My God… what is that… thing?!?

3:13 pm October, 26 Carl said...

In the daytime, this dude could cause a scrotal eclipse of the sun.

3:20 pm October, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’m pretty sure this is what redneckbag is singing along to.

3:21 pm October, 26 Charles Ulysses Farley said...

Pretty sad that the people outnumber the brain cells in this photo.

3:27 pm October, 26 King Kong Bundy said...

Yep, I’m doing just fine… thanks for asking.

3:30 pm October, 26 Wedgie said...

Are you sure this wasn’t at the Indianippless 500?

3:34 pm October, 26 Deltus said...

The Jesus ballcap is the cherry on top of a very greasy, nasty douche sundae. It finishes him somehow.

3:38 pm October, 26 CBS said...

send that piggy to Shatton Moor…he should feel right at home

3:43 pm October, 26 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

Ok…who thought about the Stay Puft marshmallow man again?

4:03 pm October, 26 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

Not only is Florida arguably the douchiest state in the union, it also boasts one of the most diverse douche ecosystems in the world. In the north, you have rednecktrash bags like the specimens caught here. On the coasts, you have hoards of bra!-style spike-haired beach fratbags. Head south to Miami Beach for the most vacuous greased up satin-shirted fist-pumping clubdouches east of Scottsdale. And Tim Tebow is from Florida. Yes, America’s Festering Wang should be nuked from existence as of yesterday.

4:18 pm October, 26 Nancy Dreuche said...

Nice fattoos guy. And Jebus H. Christ that hat ya got is quite an endorsement for me to continue to not frequent a church. Also please don’t sit on me.

4:27 pm October, 26 Medusa Oblongata said...

Dear God, what is that thing?

4:28 pm October, 26 Vin Douchal said...

At leat they were at a good show. Skynyrd kicks ass.
.

Unfortunately ,the warm up bands were Dick and the Tractor Fuckers, Cow Afterbirth, Left-Handed Goat Milker, Farmer’s Knocked Up MethHead Daughter, Chesney Chest Shave and Toothless Spitfire

4:30 pm October, 26 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

I bet there aren’t many black people at this event. Although there seems to be a rather large contingency of fabulously out there gays. “Does this hat make me look fat? No…your body does.”

4:34 pm October, 26 Wedgie said...

Mississippi Mud Humper

4:38 pm October, 26 Wedgie said...

Alabama Anal Invader

4:59 pm October, 26 Southern Scrotic said...

Mah Bukkit! Have you seen it?

5:07 pm October, 26 Turdacious said...

Jabba the Douche!

5:08 pm October, 26 Stephanie said...

Miami roided meat head

5:13 pm October, 26 Charles Ulysses Farley said...

Tallahassee Turd Taster

5:14 pm October, 26 Charles Ulysses Farley said...

The Okeefedouchey Swamp Thing

5:28 pm October, 26 Mr. Biggs said...

Okay … SOMEONE got into the Bovine Growth Hormone again.

5:32 pm October, 26 Vin Douchal said...

Hey Hoss! It’s cow tipping! Not cow fucking!

5:33 pm October, 26 Choadthedouchesprocket said...

His nipples are so tiny and close together they look like they belong on a ten year old.

Am I the only person who gets aroused by these things?

5:54 pm October, 26 Vin Douchal said...

Yeah he’s pretty cool, but…
.

5:57 pm October, 26 Turdacious said...

Ok all this really blows!
Check this shit out.
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/10/26/when-costume-disasters-strike-on-halloween/?partner=rss&emc=rss

6:09 pm October, 26 soy bomb said...

He’s like a sentient ball of pink chum.
.
.
.
.
Wait. Strike the “sentient” part.

6:42 pm October, 26 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Southern Scrotic–I see what you did there. Good show, man!

6:43 pm October, 26 Mr. White said...

Can’t you smell that smell?

6:43 pm October, 26 Mr. White said...

Play Free Turd!

6:44 pm October, 26 Mr. White said...

Be a simple kind of man….and by simple, mama meant “IQ in the single digits.”

6:46 pm October, 26 Mr. White said...

Sweet home Alabama hot pocket.

6:49 pm October, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Flirtin’ With Disassturd.

6:50 pm October, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Give Me Three Chests.

6:50 pm October, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Turd On Loosely.

6:51 pm October, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Redneckaritaville.

7:08 pm October, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mr. Creolesote

7:09 pm October, 26 Anonymous said...

It looks like Cletus and his trailer park homies were having a rip-snorting time before the monthly Klan meeting.

“The Douche went down to Georgia, he was looking for a boy to squeal.. He was in a bind ‘cos his IQ’s nine, he was willin’ to just cop a feel”

7:19 pm October, 26 Guid is Good said...

What a large and stupid man. Looks like the rock ape in the khaki Tshirt is going to get some good loving if he can keep trailer park mom on her feet for a little bit longer.

7:50 pm October, 26 Douchetacular said...

When Skynyrd played “That Smell”..you know this guy sniffed his armpits and crotch.

8:11 pm October, 26 08ArmyDoc said...

wait, wait – he looks like a white version of That Thing from Argentina. And I lurv that tat of Momma on his right bicep

8:16 pm October, 26 Wedgie said...

@Mr. White:

Thank you for that enlightening link. There are some things in life that I would be perfectly happy not to know. And the definition of “Alabama Hot Pocket” is right up there with “Felching” and “Gerbil Launching” in my book of shit I wish I never heard of. Thanks in advance for this evening’s nightmare.

8:40 pm October, 26 Medusa Oblongata said...

What is the giant Pink Floyd pig doing at a Lynrd Skynrd concert?

9:13 pm October, 26 Anonymous too said...

Exactly how many SONIC carhops does it take to feed this guy? Judging from his sunburn, it looks like his friends missed their appointment earlier in the day to roll him over.

9:23 pm October, 26 Steve L. said...

what did Heather do to cajole that amorphous blob to POSE for this first person bag tag photo?
wait. i don’t want to know.

10:30 pm October, 26 Sir David Douchenborough said...

DOUCHEHULK MAD!!! MISSED NICKELBACK CONCERT! DOUCHEHULK POINTS TO STAGE AND WANT TO SMASH!!!!!

I can’t help but wonder about that man’s moobs. I mean, are they even moobs? His nipples are some sort of Budweiser Dowsing Rod, searching for half full cans strewn all over the field or something.

10:32 pm October, 26 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

He MIGHT be a farm boy gone douche. You see, the hottie to the left is wearing a John Deere cap. Yup, this boar’s been corn-fed on a feed-lot.

Soo-EEEEEEEEEE!

11:48 pm October, 26 dblpits2teste said...

Awesome! Forget old tires, if I had a yacht he’d be the bumper.

2:07 am October, 27 tall guy said...

It looks like it was spoon fed Creatine powder (aka cretin powder) from a young age.

5:24 am October, 27 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

Originally, there was a third hott in this photo, but good ol’ boy Jabba the Butt couldn’t wait in the concessions line, so he consumed her.
.
And her date.
.
.
Jesus bling trucker hat and evil clown bicep tatt… I wonder which church he attends “wif momma ever’ Sundee.”
.
.
The South may not rise again, but my breakfast might.

5:27 am October, 27 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Having lived in NC now for the better part of 15 years I can say that there are far too many redneck bags out there. Although none that I’ve seen to this ginormism (or whatever, it’s fuccken early). There are plenty of hots in this area though, lots of beaches for the bitches.

7:48 am October, 27 Douche Springsteen said...

I just got an intense craving for one of those Jimmy Dean microwaveable sausage & egg sandwiches. Which is odd, because I have never had one before. I don’t like the effect this pic is having on me.

8:55 am October, 27 I R A Darth Aggie said...

There just ain’t a lot of hotties in the sticks.
.
You just have to know where to look, but they’re there. In this, probably cleverly camoflaged by Jabba the Douche. We see her hat and hand, but that’s it.
.
Now the John Deere chick, I wouldn’t hit that with DB1’s schlong.

10:37 am October, 27 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

Yikes! I guess we’ll have to take I R A Darth Aggie’s word for the hott situation in booneyville, since this picture offers no evidence. I believe you, but from the looks of this picture, the Blob is loose in Dixie, and may be swallowing up every attractive person that comes within its field of gravity.
.
Better have yourself an escape plan if you go to a Skynyrd concert, Darth.

6:23 pm October, 27 Pierre Matsuo said...

Stackhouse is from FLORIDA

6:54 pm October, 27 Fatness said...

Actually, Jason M. “Stackhouse” Beinlich from Philly, which also explains Fenton…

1:40 pm October, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

When he drives his Rascal down the beer aisle at Wal-Mart, everyone knows to get out of his way.

1:25 pm November, 9 diet shakes said...

Whey Protein is a high quality Complete Protein containing all of the essential amino acids.

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