Monday, January 10, 2011
Joey Broheim Is In Your Proverbial Face
Quartasian Sara doesn’t always drink beer. But when she does, she prefers Dos Equis.
Hot Chicks With Douche Bags
PICTURES OF HOT CHICKS WITH TOTAL AND COMPLETE DOUCHEBAGS. WITH COMMENTARY.
Log In / Sign Up
Not a member ? Join Us Now
Archives
- September 2023
- August 2022
- June 2022
- February 2022
- September 2021
- January 2021
- October 2020
- August 2020
- June 2020
- April 2020
- January 2020
- June 2019
- April 2019
- January 2019
- December 2018
- August 2018
- April 2018
- February 2018
- January 2018
- December 2017
- October 2017
- August 2017
- June 2017
- March 2017
- January 2017
- December 2016
- November 2016
- September 2016
- August 2016
- July 2016
- June 2016
- May 2016
- March 2016
- February 2016
- January 2016
- December 2015
- November 2015
- October 2015
- September 2015
- August 2015
- July 2015
- June 2015
- May 2015
- April 2015
- March 2015
- February 2015
- January 2015
- December 2014
- November 2014
- October 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- May 2014
- April 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- December 2007
- November 2007
- October 2007
- September 2007
- August 2007
- July 2007
- June 2007
- May 2007
- April 2007
- March 2007
- February 2007
- January 2007
- December 2006
- November 2006
- October 2006
- September 2006
- August 2006
- May 2005
- April 2005
- March 2005
- February 2005
- January 2005
Hall of Mock
- Pfah
- DarkSock
- Baron Von Goolo
- Troy Tempest
- Steve L
- Wheezer
- Medusa Oblongata
- creature
- Crucial Head
- Mr. White
- Archidoucheis
- Mr. Biggs
- Vin Douchal
- Sergeant Scrote Stain
- boatbutter
- Captain Bringdown
- Whoop-di-douche
- Jacques Doucheteau
- massengill
- Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
- Mr. Scrotato Head
- Deltus
- The Reverend Chad Kroeger
- mr.reeve
- Wedgie
- Et Tu Douche?
- Eliza Douchcoo
- dbBen
- soy bomb
- DoucheyWallnuts
- I R A Darth Aggie
- jonezy
- Hermit
- Chris in ‘Baghdad
- Douchble Helix
- the douche is alright
- Choad the Douche Sprocket
- Stephanie
- The Dude
- Dude McCrudeshoes
- Sir David Douchenborough
- Il Douché
- Bag A
- douche equis
- Capt. James T. Douche
- Charles Nelson Douchely
- THEONETRUEDOUCHE
- Merle Baggard
- ehcuodouche
- Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
- Charles Douchewin
- FredN.
- Ol' Dirty Douchebag
- In memoriam: bcs
-----------
Quartasian Sara doesn’t always sit on dude’s faces, but when she does, she prefers to sit on dude’s faces who aren’t me apparently.
.
.
And for that, an infant hedgehog will pay.
He belongs on Club Mario.
J Broheims Facebook Status update from his iPhone:
.
Yo Son!!!! check it out, I got this hott babe to take a picture with me wearing my goofy retro baseball cap. If I play my cards right I might even get her digits tonight. Man it’s good being Joey Broheim. Updates to follow.
.
Very later that night, J.B. sitting alone in his mom’s basement, in front of his computer wonders were it all went wrong. Was it the hat? the shirt? how am I gonna spin this latest set back. Status update will have to wait. Man it sucks being Joey Broheim
The remains of ‘funnyman’ Jim Brewer’s career in one snapshot.
Funny, I look the same when I take a swig of diet coke…
@ Massengill 2:44
WTF What is that and where did you find it?!?!?
.
Joey Broheim’s delight turned to horror as his fingers were bitten off by an angry gorgon.
Dude, you stole my hand gesture….I’m coming to git ya.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I can’t make that face until I get about halfway through the large bottle of Jagermeister.
And there’s always hell to pay later.
Later, Joey Broheim lamented losing his class ring up Lance Maindude’s colon
Quartasian Sara doesn’t always prefer anilingus, but when she does she prefers Dia Reah. son.
He stood before the judge that day
And picked his nose with Fury;
Rolled them into little globs
And flicked them at the Jury.
is it the drink making his toofs yella?
He once had an awkward moment…actually he had many.
Receives
Viking
Cockks
Anally
She’s Fergie Hott
Here I sit’s all tired and dirty
Choking my pudding cannon to a girl that looks like Fergie….
I call Slavic Hott…
.
Lotsa girls in flyover country have that Ukrainian Cheeky look…
.
RUCA: Chicano slang meaning “old lady” or “main girlfriend”. Written RVCA because avante garde dickwads from Costa Mesa are trying to be edgy.
Shunned by locals; ridiculed by millions, embraced by douchebags.
But at least they sponsor BJ Penn, who up until now, I would have sworn was heterosexual.
I don’t know why, but he doesn’t really annoy me that much. He looks like he might be awesome to shoot the shit with. Sure Id have to put up with a lot of “sons” “rock ons” and “gnarlys” but I could see myself enjoying an evening of bar sports with this feller.
Uh oh…its happening. I’ve gone soft…creme fraiche soft.
@ Medusa
http://www.everythingisterrible.com is my new favorite waste of time.
This one gets me every time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xawyxcqB7ec
I knew I shouldn’t check in before I take my Hoveround to bed. Nancy you disappoint me son. We’re not here to like people. Massengill you ruined what was going to be a good sleep in the manor. Now I have to tune my drums and rock out to GNR. Son.
Quartasian Sara doesn’t always have a second beer, but when she does she usually wakes up to find her underwear hanging from the rear view mirror and experiences a burning sensation when she pees.
@The Rev, just testing you all. Just seeing what would happen if I started to turn to the douche side. You set me straight Rev, straighter than Joey Broheim here that’s fer sure. I mean c’mon, check out how gay he looks. He’s making that face because the guy behind him just stuck Medusa’s Frank up the ol’ Joey Poopshoot. And Joey looks like he likes it! (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
Yeah, yeah that’s more like it.
Awesome smile! Sara has a little bit of a Jessica Biel vibe going on– a vibe that is beginning to set of tremors of another sort in my pants.
.
She has great lips and a nice firm grip on the neck of that bottle. Know where I’m goin’ with this, son?
Something about his webbed fingers that makes me slightly worried.
^You forgot to say “Son”.
Damn, Cam Newton is the best pro athelete on the field tonight.
Well Nancy, the only ‘sports’ that this chump would want to watch with you would be MMA and instead of having any kind of fun, you’d be left alone to wonder why he and his bros were staring saucer-eyed at a bunch of sweaty, half-naked men with Greek God-like bodies dry humping each other.
Agreed Wedgie, Newton is really earning his paycheck tonight.
Cam Newton is worth every cent of that 180 k.
I can’t believe it took this long….does she prefer Douche Equis?
.
.
however, if I grab Sara by the ankles & whip out my camera phone, I’m pretty sure I can feature her in XX
I will refuse. Update the state will have to wait. The man who aspires to be Joey Broheim
If Sarah Palin talked about putting guys like this in the “cross hairs” I doubt she’d be taking any flak today. Stupid Sarah Palin.
“don’t call me son no mo, brah”
Holy fuck Massengil,,,,saw the Mario, and then the Bubbleman….just speechless. Puppet with bubbleman is very disturbing and nothing like Ooogie from Uncle Floyd.
I would love to know Q-Sarah’s nationality combination, she doesnt look pure – bred to me. More of a Hawaiian/Soviet,,,or a Thai/Hungarian hotness. Especially exotic, even by my jaded standards.
http://www.tvacres.com/puppets_unclefloyd.htm
Now I’m imagining Q – Sara with F. Mercurio,,,,fuck,,,fwappable material.
I’d love 15 minutes of fame with her pear.
Retarded Vermin Choadscrote Available
DUUUUUDE! Nice shirt, dickwad! Joey would look better face-down in a shallow ditch in the woods.
.
Sara is delightful. She prefers Dos Equis, eh? Is that a veiled way of saying she’s into girl-on-girl (2 X Chromosomes)? Whatever she wants to do with that bottle is fine by me, as long as I can watch.
@Nancy: I understand where your initial reaction came from, although perhaps you went too far.
.
There are dbags that you instantly want to kick in the face. And then there’s wankers that are merely a bit irritating. Joey falls into the latter category, methinks. I could have a pint with Joey, if I were out with friends and one of them knew Joey and he hung around for a beer. One beer only.
Two things.
1) I can only make that face when on the toilet after I’ve been on an Indian food and bourbon bender.
2) Here’s the real most interesting man in the world.
http://idontlikeyouinthatway.com/2011/01/charlie-sheen-had-three-porn-stars-in-one-night.html
@Deltus, I never said I’d drink with him, I just said I’d play a game of Air Hockey with him. One game. No best two out of three. And yeah on the douchebag spectrum he is on the lesser irritating end.
Is Billabong the new B.U.M. Equipment? I had no idea they have gone so “edgy” with the douche print, apparently to try to catch up to Affliction and TapOut.
.
Now to find out who actually cares.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(crickets)
The GNR video on Everything is Terrible is great, too. The “bass player” goes the “guitar as phallus” route and DOES. NOT. LOOK. BACK. In his mind that is what it means to be a “cool” guitar player. BARF.
John Cusack was sick of his career going nowhere. All the late nights, stupid interview questions, being away from home for so long… “What can I do to get out of this rut?” he thought while standing at the bar of yet another tiresome club. “There’s gotta be more to life than this.” It was then that genius struck in the form of a Douche Equis bottle.
.
Quickly he got the bartender’s attention and order six “beers”. “That should be enough” as he went through a rapid mental calculation. Methodically he downed them one after another until they were empty. “Don’t throw these away” he told the bartender as he was walking towards the club’s photographer. “How would you like to make $20 bucks the easy way?” he asked Photo Tom. “Sure, why not?” replied Tom “Just remember when I yell ‘BRO!’ to take the picture. You got it?” “Yeah I got it” came Tom’s tired reply.
.
Cusack took three bottles and slipped them onto three fingers on each hand. Scanning the audience he found his target, Joey Broheim. Joey had been trying real hard to impress Quartasian Sara all night with his stories about his skateboarding exploits over at the drainage ditch behind his house. It was just when Joey started the story about how he jumped 17 Frosted Flakes after coming out of the half-pipe when Cusack struck. As Joey re-enacted the scene, Cusack rammed both hands square into Joey’s poop shoot and yelled “BRO!” Photo Tom snapped the picture just as entry was being made. Suddenly Joey became the most interesting douche in the bar as he lay face down quivering on the puke and beer-stained floor.
This guy reminds me of someone, I am not sure who, but guessing it is Bob Odenkirk as C.S. Lewis Jr..
Thanks for this insight. I would have been surprised if this weren’t your position nike sb . But the manner in which you described it was to the say the least, ambiguous.
There are millions of people out there needing help nfl jerseys with finding the right freelancing markets. Glad to see you’re taking the time to help others out. Excellent article.
Massengill you ruined it would be a good night in the house. Now I have to tune my drums and rock out to GNR. Son.d.
I am one of probably a minority nfl football jerseys of people who have actually studied abnormal psychology.This is great information.
I found myself enjoying a night of sports bar with this stacker.
Uh oh … his success. I was fresh sweet cream … sweet.