Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Jan Lärggmän Watches
Even in Minsk, where Hottie/Douchey siblings cohabit in creepy and genetically inappropriate ways, there is Jan Lärggmän.
Who watches without watching.
And knows.
Hot Chicks With Douche Bags
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Hall of Mock
- Pfah
- DarkSock
- Baron Von Goolo
- Troy Tempest
- Steve L
- Wheezer
- Medusa Oblongata
- creature
- Crucial Head
- Mr. White
- Archidoucheis
- Mr. Biggs
- Vin Douchal
- Sergeant Scrote Stain
- boatbutter
- Captain Bringdown
- Whoop-di-douche
- Jacques Doucheteau
- massengill
- Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
- Mr. Scrotato Head
- Deltus
- The Reverend Chad Kroeger
- mr.reeve
- Wedgie
- Et Tu Douche?
- Eliza Douchcoo
- dbBen
- soy bomb
- DoucheyWallnuts
- I R A Darth Aggie
- jonezy
- Hermit
- Chris in ‘Baghdad
- Douchble Helix
- the douche is alright
- Choad the Douche Sprocket
- Stephanie
- The Dude
- Dude McCrudeshoes
- Sir David Douchenborough
- Il Douché
- Bag A
- douche equis
- Capt. James T. Douche
- Charles Nelson Douchely
- THEONETRUEDOUCHE
- Merle Baggard
- ehcuodouche
- Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
- Charles Douchewin
- FredN.
- Ol' Dirty Douchebag
- In memoriam: bcs
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For as horrible as Jan is, I am more terrified by the creature leaning against the bar over the right shoulder of das bleeth.
This just in; Jan is being blamed by world banking officials for causing the insolvency of the United States.
Its Swedish Lindsey Lohan and Dutch Dane Cooke. That is the porniest mustache this side of Dallas that Debbie Done Did.
This just in: Jan was listed as international enemy number four behind Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Bashar al-Assad and Kadafi/Gaddafi/Qaddafi for wearing that V-neck t-shirt.
Metro-casual Stanislaw sports his first mustache. His Auntie Bibi warned him that pridiguos masturbation makes your forehead grow. Live and learn.
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Katrinka trusts in the protection of a triple buckled chastity cumberbun, blessed by Weird Peder, the one-eyed monk. How do you get it off and enjoy the wooly softness of her massive eastern European merkin, denser lusher than the primordial forests of Pangea? Jan Larggman knows. And Watches.
*and* lusher, even
And now we know why Doc Bunsen prefers a .50 cal…….it mostly vaporizes the target.
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You might need 2 rounds for Larggman.
@Douchey —
I think DB1 is referring to that creature at the bar as Jan Larggman. (Get it, “large man”????)
And I’m also pretty sure Jan is checking out Inga’s taught hind quarters. She is all kinds of delicious.
Sweet bäby Jesüs. Such ä sweet little thing, she äll dolled up for ä night out, änd he looks like he dumpster dove for clothes äfter being releäsed from prison eärlier thät evening.
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Doesn’t reälly mätter. Jän will make him disappeär.
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* bürp *
I remember the good ol’ days.
Back when you saw a guy wearing a tight yellow t-shirt with a v-neck, you automatically knew he was so gay, Richard Simmons would have told him to knock it down a level or three.
Poor Tatiana. Next time, make sure your Russian Bride Finder takes you to at least as far Luxembourg.
Geez Bag A I am off my game…I need to start drinking again…
@Douchey Walnuts
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Jan Lärggmän IS the guy leaning on the bar, not the eurobag in the yellow V-Neck.
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I feel your pain Jan Lärggmän as I did your cousin Jon’s back in Fresno. Enjoy that double shot of vodka and don’t let anyone tell you that brown corduroys are out of style.
Bartender, I’ll have another Jäger and Axe.
In the back
I had no idea Marty Allen was still alive.
@Douchey —
That was your problem — you STOPPED drinking!
Jan Lärggmän sweats nervously whilst leaning on the bar top. Never before has he been this close to his quarry. After years of searching, he finally tracked down two of the three stars from his favorite childhood TV program that he watched religiously, back when he was known as Jan Smällmän. Almost on cue, as Jan steels himself for the biggest moment of his life, his anus involuntarily screetches out the famed punchline. ‘This is a good sign’, Jan thinks to himself, smiling as he reaches for the autograph book and pen.
McCrudeshoes 4:45 FTW.
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Jumpin’ Jupiter, what is he wearing?!? Nice shirt, fruitcake, now gimme back the rag that Laundry Gimp uses to mop up Mr. White’s piss on Sunday morning.
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“Hard Life”. Yeah. Hard life, looking like an extra from Boogie Nights.
Hard Life, taking it up the ass from Uncle Stanislaw for lunch money.
Hard Life, working the glory hole at Big Sven’s All Night Fish-N-Truck outside of Helsingborg.
Hard Life, being in charge of product testing at the buttplug factory.
Hard Life, having the constant smell of ball sweat under one’s nose.
Bartender, I’ll have another Goldschlager and Llama Semen.
“Forever alone”, Janet Reno sighed to herself, as her mind wandered to the rectal chastity belt worn by her spurned ex, Maya, hatefully holding their sacred mud-baby from deliverance unto this world by the cruel hand of Lars.
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K THAT shit made nooo snence.
Yeah, I gots an early flight to Hotlanta to talk to some folks about a dollphin thing and Im into the ambien HOURS early poped them round 8 and now its a 10 and i’m trilpping balls down coal tar river so’s i can wake up at 3:3o for a flite out. TONIGHT IAM FLYTHETWEQH AND REVERAEND CHADD Columbined together;
/
I am a WARRCOCKK full of PUMA BLUUD so tape donw yuer nippels and farr up a doob cuz bruther we barbqin’ and barbQ looks like catchup butt BROTHER IT IS NOTT KETCHUP baw baaw mofugs that shit ain’t EVNE KETCHUP nobody unedrstands why ketchup and bbq are cousins that HATE one aother but we lover them so hard….oh hunts ketchup thine silken crimson embrace but HO BHAAAAWWWW NOW what up in that Kraft BBQ…goodie proctor woulda hung 4 that tang, brah..
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THe half 5th of ry was a poor chouice
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I feel LLLllHAAHMMMMAAEAH COMIN AWN WITHAT a touche of charly SHEEN
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My mind is a MULE FIST, a PSionic Mule Fish of Up FUckery aimed at the heart of your collective balls so don’t make meh twitch STEPCHILD
I think Dark Sock just OD’d on TARMAL
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We should all be so lucky.
best post of the year
@Dark Sock
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When my spleen is reattached it will thank you. Say hello to Globie and Cowboy Curtis if you see them. And can you send me some of that good stuff when you get back.
He is Francois from Youth In Revolt. Mr. Sock? Mr.Sock? Your pudding is waiting with the fat nurse at Station #3, Really? Are they not all fat like Paula Dean except for the hot one eating her 15th donut. Wow,
Hey you ever pop an Ambien then wake up for your 6 am flight the next morning with the sneaky suspicion you did something dumb before you finally went to bed?
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Me neither.
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I can’t find my wife’s dog.
@Bag A.
No, I meant I stopped drinking this morning. I should have just gone all day….
I think that we are causing each other mental collapse. This dude makes Lance Armstrong look like a man.
Jan is wanted in 4 countries for breaking the law. His shirt, 5.
Is Jan Eurobag or Hipsterbag? Or are the two classes of bags in an endless loop of copying each other’s look?
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But the real question is whether he’s got the right heroin chic look going. That takes a lot of bulimia to do right.
@Mr Biggs
Jan is the Large man ponied up to the bar in the background ponder and lamenting the douchey coupling he just witnessed.
I’m not convinced Jan is a man. In fact, I would venture to guess that out of those jeans, and in a more appropriate Walmart HaüsFrock™, a massive GUNT would be revealed.
FYI, Jan Larggman is Waldo in disguise, just another Waldouche, who obviously overdoses on carbohydrates regularly, and perhaps on umlauts if DB1 is correct about his name-spell.
I’m overdosing on color in this photo, and wonder exactly what it was that DarkSock overdosed on.
This must be this guy’s first photo. Jan doesn’t want to “screw it up”.
Hot Chicks With Serial Killers.
Why do all of the European club pictures have that strange fuchsia glow?
I didn’t know Vegas-style sports books…and the losers who frequent them…had spread to the Baltic States.
Still, I’d Belarus my Lithuanian into her Latvia any day…
The douchy reincarnation of Vincent Price?