Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Jan Lärggmän Watches

Even in Minsk, where Hottie/Douchey siblings cohabit in creepy and genetically inappropriate ways, there is Jan Lärggmän.

Who watches without watching.

And knows.

# posted by douchebag1
4:34 pm March, 22 DoucheyWallnuts said...

For as horrible as Jan is, I am more terrified by the creature leaning against the bar over the right shoulder of das bleeth.

4:35 pm March, 22 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This just in; Jan is being blamed by world banking officials for causing the insolvency of the United States.

4:38 pm March, 22 Spell Attic said...

Its Swedish Lindsey Lohan and Dutch Dane Cooke. That is the porniest mustache this side of Dallas that Debbie Done Did.

4:38 pm March, 22 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This just in: Jan was listed as international enemy number four behind Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Bashar al-Assad and Kadafi/Gaddafi/Qaddafi for wearing that V-neck t-shirt.

4:45 pm March, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Metro-casual Stanislaw sports his first mustache. His Auntie Bibi warned him that pridiguos masturbation makes your forehead grow. Live and learn.
.
Katrinka trusts in the protection of a triple buckled chastity cumberbun, blessed by Weird Peder, the one-eyed monk. How do you get it off and enjoy the wooly softness of her massive eastern European merkin, denser lusher than the primordial forests of Pangea? Jan Larggman knows. And Watches.

4:47 pm March, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

*and* lusher, even

4:48 pm March, 22 Wedgie said...

And now we know why Doc Bunsen prefers a .50 cal…….it mostly vaporizes the target.
.
.
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You might need 2 rounds for Larggman.

5:05 pm March, 22 Bag A said...

@Douchey —

I think DB1 is referring to that creature at the bar as Jan Larggman. (Get it, “large man”????)

And I’m also pretty sure Jan is checking out Inga’s taught hind quarters. She is all kinds of delicious.

5:11 pm March, 22 fatness said...

Sweet bäby Jesüs. Such ä sweet little thing, she äll dolled up for ä night out, änd he looks like he dumpster dove for clothes äfter being releäsed from prison eärlier thät evening.
.
Doesn’t reälly mätter. Jän will make him disappeär.
.
* bürp *

5:13 pm March, 22 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

I remember the good ol’ days.

Back when you saw a guy wearing a tight yellow t-shirt with a v-neck, you automatically knew he was so gay, Richard Simmons would have told him to knock it down a level or three.

Poor Tatiana. Next time, make sure your Russian Bride Finder takes you to at least as far Luxembourg.

5:18 pm March, 22 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Geez Bag A I am off my game…I need to start drinking again…

5:20 pm March, 22 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Douchey Walnuts
.
Jan Lärggmän IS the guy leaning on the bar, not the eurobag in the yellow V-Neck.
.
I feel your pain Jan Lärggmän as I did your cousin Jon’s back in Fresno. Enjoy that double shot of vodka and don’t let anyone tell you that brown corduroys are out of style.

5:28 pm March, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Bartender, I’ll have another Jäger and Axe.

5:42 pm March, 22 skrag2112 said...

In the back
I had no idea Marty Allen was still alive.

6:30 pm March, 22 Bag A said...

@Douchey —

That was your problem — you STOPPED drinking!

6:38 pm March, 22 soy bomb said...

Jan Lärggmän sweats nervously whilst leaning on the bar top. Never before has he been this close to his quarry. After years of searching, he finally tracked down two of the three stars from his favorite childhood TV program that he watched religiously, back when he was known as Jan Smällmän. Almost on cue, as Jan steels himself for the biggest moment of his life, his anus involuntarily screetches out the famed punchline. ‘This is a good sign’, Jan thinks to himself, smiling as he reaches for the autograph book and pen.

6:40 pm March, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

McCrudeshoes 4:45 FTW.
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Jumpin’ Jupiter, what is he wearing?!? Nice shirt, fruitcake, now gimme back the rag that Laundry Gimp uses to mop up Mr. White’s piss on Sunday morning.
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“Hard Life”. Yeah. Hard life, looking like an extra from Boogie Nights.

6:41 pm March, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

Hard Life, taking it up the ass from Uncle Stanislaw for lunch money.

6:43 pm March, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

Hard Life, working the glory hole at Big Sven’s All Night Fish-N-Truck outside of Helsingborg.

6:44 pm March, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

Hard Life, being in charge of product testing at the buttplug factory.

6:45 pm March, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

Hard Life, having the constant smell of ball sweat under one’s nose.

6:50 pm March, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Bartender, I’ll have another Goldschlager and Llama Semen.

8:24 pm March, 22 DarkSock said...

“Forever alone”, Janet Reno sighed to herself, as her mind wandered to the rectal chastity belt worn by her spurned ex, Maya, hatefully holding their sacred mud-baby from deliverance unto this world by the cruel hand of Lars.
..
.
agrewgegw
.
.
K THAT shit made nooo snence.
Yeah, I gots an early flight to Hotlanta to talk to some folks about a dollphin thing and Im into the ambien HOURS early poped them round 8 and now its a 10 and i’m trilpping balls down coal tar river so’s i can wake up at 3:3o for a flite out. TONIGHT IAM FLYTHETWEQH AND REVERAEND CHADD Columbined together;
/
I am a WARRCOCKK full of PUMA BLUUD so tape donw yuer nippels and farr up a doob cuz bruther we barbqin’ and barbQ looks like catchup butt BROTHER IT IS NOTT KETCHUP baw baaw mofugs that shit ain’t EVNE KETCHUP nobody unedrstands why ketchup and bbq are cousins that HATE one aother but we lover them so hard….oh hunts ketchup thine silken crimson embrace but HO BHAAAAWWWW NOW what up in that Kraft BBQ…goodie proctor woulda hung 4 that tang, brah..
.
THe half 5th of ry was a poor chouice
.
I feel LLLllHAAHMMMMAAEAH COMIN AWN WITHAT a touche of charly SHEEN
.
,
My mind is a MULE FIST, a PSionic Mule Fish of Up FUckery aimed at the heart of your collective balls so don’t make meh twitch STEPCHILD

9:11 pm March, 22 soy bomb said...

I think Dark Sock just OD’d on TARMAL
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.
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We should all be so lucky.

10:29 pm March, 22 jonezy said...

best post of the year

1:30 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Dark Sock
.
When my spleen is reattached it will thank you. Say hello to Globie and Cowboy Curtis if you see them. And can you send me some of that good stuff when you get back.

1:42 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He is Francois from Youth In Revolt. Mr. Sock? Mr.Sock? Your pudding is waiting with the fat nurse at Station #3, Really? Are they not all fat like Paula Dean except for the hot one eating her 15th donut. Wow,

3:01 am March, 23 DarkSock said...

Hey you ever pop an Ambien then wake up for your 6 am flight the next morning with the sneaky suspicion you did something dumb before you finally went to bed?
.
.
Me neither.
.
.
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I can’t find my wife’s dog.

5:13 am March, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

@Bag A.
No, I meant I stopped drinking this morning. I should have just gone all day….

5:59 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I think that we are causing each other mental collapse. This dude makes Lance Armstrong look like a man.

7:28 am March, 23 Deltus said...

Jan is wanted in 4 countries for breaking the law. His shirt, 5.

8:52 am March, 23 Mr. Biggs said...

Is Jan Eurobag or Hipsterbag? Or are the two classes of bags in an endless loop of copying each other’s look?
.
But the real question is whether he’s got the right heroin chic look going. That takes a lot of bulimia to do right.

9:12 am March, 23 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Mr Biggs
Jan is the Large man ponied up to the bar in the background ponder and lamenting the douchey coupling he just witnessed.

9:41 am March, 23 Anonymous said...

I’m not convinced Jan is a man. In fact, I would venture to guess that out of those jeans, and in a more appropriate Walmart HaüsFrock™, a massive GUNT would be revealed.

12:22 pm March, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

FYI, Jan Larggman is Waldo in disguise, just another Waldouche, who obviously overdoses on carbohydrates regularly, and perhaps on umlauts if DB1 is correct about his name-spell.
I’m overdosing on color in this photo, and wonder exactly what it was that DarkSock overdosed on.

12:52 pm March, 23 Stephanie said...

This must be this guy’s first photo. Jan doesn’t want to “screw it up”.

1:59 pm March, 23 Stephanie said...

Hot Chicks With Serial Killers.

4:09 pm March, 23 Gamelorn said...

Why do all of the European club pictures have that strange fuchsia glow?

4:56 pm March, 23 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

I didn’t know Vegas-style sports books…and the losers who frequent them…had spread to the Baltic States.

Still, I’d Belarus my Lithuanian into her Latvia any day…

2:24 pm March, 24 Pliny said...

The douchy reincarnation of Vincent Price?

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