Tuesday, May 17, 2011
The Veiner Sausage
Theory time, kids! The Veiner Sausage, whom you see here in tragic proximity to Tammi Taught-Tummi, is suffering from vascular bulge much the same as can be observed on turgid horse dong because:
A. Like any good American, he’s doing his doodie;
B. Grey Goose, as it turns out, curdles steroid injections;
C. His Brown Eye is on the verge of losing the fight against the Olestra potato chip assault;
D. He summons his pet pit bull with ninja flatulence chirps above 15,000 hz;
E. Oh, you guys know what to do…there’s plenty of letters left in the alphabet to finish this list…
Veins can sense fail, and his are trying to pull away.
I’ll go with B that being said I turn my attention back to aqua blue almost cheek reveal and stare intently hoping that whatever that piece of garment is called creeps up just a few inches more.
Old fuccer is certainly a wee man.
We’ve seen this douche before, and the hott too I think. The varicose veins and vapid stare were a dead give away.
cheese whiz, popcorn, log cabin syrup & vicadin can create a quite impassable colonic blockade without much consternation & sasquachtian grunts.
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Veiner is widely notorius in the plastering trade for his uniquely texturized treatments to mudhuts
Veiner’s burps reek of malt protein mix , scrambled eggs and onions, string cheese, ranch dressing, pizza flavored Pringles, fish oil and Flinstones chewable vitamins. Blecchh
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Veiner’s piss stream glows in the dark
Is that a vein on your stomach or is your peen trying to escape the stench below?
Tammi is his sausage casing…son
The Sock’s driving this week?
Oh my.
Time to dust off the horse rectum.
Son.
F. His Wrath Of Khan earwigs started meandering after they couldn’t find enough brain to latch onto.
G. His blood alcohol level is only .002, but his blood Gogurt™ level is 34.9.
H. He’s so veiny he prob’ly thinks this song is about him.
Q. Excessive body shaving resulted in some really harsh ingrown hairs.
Speaking of “Veiners”
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The Governator dropped a bomb today:
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Yah! I coodent reezeest ze maid’s schnitzel… zhe vould play viz my knockwurst in vays Maria didn’t know exzeested…. Zo I zprayed hair viz my schmear… I don’t know how she got pregnant …. I pulled out
R. They take his blood pressure with a tire gauge.
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From his penal stem.
I’ll see Goolo’s excellently nerdy Khan reference and raise him one:
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T. The Borg nanites in his bloodstream are dying in a sea of cholesterol and syphilis.
that catheter sure does go deep
Like Tendon Ted before him, he like his veins “sunny side out”.
Scanners.
That Napoleon vibe sure brings the hots….
I remember this tool, but barely. I would like to rub a little gummi on Tammi’s Tummi.
If a horse pees in your butt and you don’t relieve the liquid pressure, this is what can happen.
We have indeed seen this specimen before. Wheeze? We’re counting on you, here.
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You guys are bad at Teh Alfabets.
I. The veins must stay knotted or else his moobs will fall to his knees.
J. Love Kills Slowly. Through the bloodstream.
K. He caught a fierce case of whipworms from the pool.
I want to pull that vein in the middle of his forehead to see if he unravels like a sweater.
P. Because that damn Pauly Shore can pull some tail and get his pump on….SON
Remember Bagpoleon? Now imagine too many hours in a tanning booth and a fit of ‘roid rage.
I love to see this guy angry. Here he is resting with his lady and that vein on his head is palpable. Imagine what he looks like when he really pitches a fit. My goal would be to try to make that baby pop out of his forehead. I would accomplish this by switching his bronzer with his self tanner.
And this is him in a happy mood.
This douche looks like the fairways of the Bushwood Country Club before Carl Spackler and Sandy McFiddish got things sorted out.