Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Veiner Sausage

Theory time, kids! The Veiner Sausage, whom you see here in tragic proximity to Tammi Taught-Tummi, is suffering from vascular bulge much the same as can be observed on turgid horse dong because:

A. Like any good American, he’s doing his doodie;

B. Grey Goose, as it turns out, curdles steroid injections;

C. His Brown Eye is on the verge of losing the fight against the Olestra potato chip assault;

D. He summons his pet pit bull with ninja flatulence chirps above 15,000 hz;

E. Oh, you guys know what to do…there’s plenty of letters left in the alphabet to finish this list…

# posted by Bagnonymous
9:07 am May, 17 Deltus said...

Veins can sense fail, and his are trying to pull away.

9:10 am May, 17 Et Tu Douche? said...

I’ll go with B that being said I turn my attention back to aqua blue almost cheek reveal and stare intently hoping that whatever that piece of garment is called creeps up just a few inches more.

9:11 am May, 17 Bigphatnotadouche said...

Old fuccer is certainly a wee man.

9:14 am May, 17 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

We’ve seen this douche before, and the hott too I think. The varicose veins and vapid stare were a dead give away.

9:30 am May, 17 creature said...

cheese whiz, popcorn, log cabin syrup & vicadin can create a quite impassable colonic blockade without much consternation & sasquachtian grunts.
.
.
Veiner is widely notorius in the plastering trade for his uniquely texturized treatments to mudhuts

9:38 am May, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Veiner’s burps reek of malt protein mix , scrambled eggs and onions, string cheese, ranch dressing, pizza flavored Pringles, fish oil and Flinstones chewable vitamins. Blecchh
.

9:38 am May, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Veiner’s piss stream glows in the dark

9:40 am May, 17 Duck, duck, douche said...

Is that a vein on your stomach or is your peen trying to escape the stench below?

9:45 am May, 17 creature said...

Tammi is his sausage casing…son

9:48 am May, 17 Baron Von Goolo said...

The Sock’s driving this week?
Oh my.
Time to dust off the horse rectum.
Son.

9:51 am May, 17 Baron Von Goolo said...

F. His Wrath Of Khan earwigs started meandering after they couldn’t find enough brain to latch onto.

9:53 am May, 17 Baron Von Goolo said...

G. His blood alcohol level is only .002, but his blood Gogurt™ level is 34.9.

9:55 am May, 17 Baron Von Goolo said...

H. He’s so veiny he prob’ly thinks this song is about him.

9:55 am May, 17 DarkSock said...

Q. Excessive body shaving resulted in some really harsh ingrown hairs.

9:56 am May, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Speaking of “Veiners”
.
The Governator dropped a bomb today:
.
Yah! I coodent reezeest ze maid’s schnitzel… zhe vould play viz my knockwurst in vays Maria didn’t know exzeested…. Zo I zprayed hair viz my schmear… I don’t know how she got pregnant …. I pulled out

9:57 am May, 17 DarkSock said...

R. They take his blood pressure with a tire gauge.
.
.
From his penal stem.

10:05 am May, 17 Mr. White said...

I’ll see Goolo’s excellently nerdy Khan reference and raise him one:
.
T. The Borg nanites in his bloodstream are dying in a sea of cholesterol and syphilis.

10:13 am May, 17 creature said...

that catheter sure does go deep

10:15 am May, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Like Tendon Ted before him, he like his veins “sunny side out”.

10:21 am May, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Scanners.

10:28 am May, 17 Collaz B. Popped said...

That Napoleon vibe sure brings the hots….

10:36 am May, 17 Wedgie said...

I remember this tool, but barely. I would like to rub a little gummi on Tammi’s Tummi.

11:54 am May, 17 Deltus said...

If a horse pees in your butt and you don’t relieve the liquid pressure, this is what can happen.

12:56 pm May, 17 Medusa Oblongata said...

We have indeed seen this specimen before. Wheeze? We’re counting on you, here.
.
You guys are bad at Teh Alfabets.
I. The veins must stay knotted or else his moobs will fall to his knees.

12:57 pm May, 17 Medusa Oblongata said...

J. Love Kills Slowly. Through the bloodstream.

12:58 pm May, 17 Medusa Oblongata said...

K. He caught a fierce case of whipworms from the pool.

12:59 pm May, 17 Medusa Oblongata said...

I want to pull that vein in the middle of his forehead to see if he unravels like a sweater.

1:27 pm May, 17 mr.reeve said...

P. Because that damn Pauly Shore can pull some tail and get his pump on….SON

3:21 pm May, 17 Douchey the Great said...

Remember Bagpoleon? Now imagine too many hours in a tanning booth and a fit of ‘roid rage.

6:42 pm May, 17 Nancy Dreuche said...

I love to see this guy angry. Here he is resting with his lady and that vein on his head is palpable. Imagine what he looks like when he really pitches a fit. My goal would be to try to make that baby pop out of his forehead. I would accomplish this by switching his bronzer with his self tanner.

8:06 pm May, 17 Stephanie said...

And this is him in a happy mood.

8:53 pm May, 17 Guid is Good said...

This douche looks like the fairways of the Bushwood Country Club before Carl Spackler and Sandy McFiddish got things sorted out.

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