Thursday, July 14, 2011
Smug Night
Smugness, in and of itself, is not necessarily a douchetribute.
It’s annoying to be sure. But it’s not inherently ‘bag.
Stupid tatt sleeves and Hitler chin fung? That there be douche.
Kelly is stoic and icy, and her lack of sexy aura costs her. But boobie beboobie, and that’s how life goes.
I wouldn’t say he’s as smug as she is. He at least looks like he’s having fun. She looks like she has a broomstick up her ass and is trying not to crap it out. However, Boooooobs.
Sir peen.
Reluctant, bewbs.
Funny how one little speck of chin fung can you make you look like twice the douchebag, innit?
Hott: Fake Hair, fake smile, fake boobies……..I’d still bang her though.
She ain’t no Salina. Salina for HoH.
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Thespians
Tiger Woods’ ex-wife can really pull some douche.
She’s haughtier than Mrs. Thurston Howell the Third getting involuntarily fingered by Aborigines in front of a clearly disapproving Vicar.
She’s haughtier than Ivana Trump having to wait an extra 5 minutes on her soy latte.
She’s haughtier than a Harvard sorority girl forced to eat in a Vassar cafeteria.
She’s haughtier than Anita Bryant on the set of Anal Commandos, Vol. 4
She’s haughtier than the Queen Mother in a Memphis BBQ joint.
He’s smugger than Rupert Murdoch was, until last week.
She looks about right to be a replacement for one of Charlie’s Goddesses…
http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/entertainment/charlie-sheens-love-for-his-goddesses-natalie-kenly-and-bree-olsen/story-e6frewyr-1226014865557
I hate these generic, nondescript douchebag/bleeth pairings. The blond fright wig, the de rigueur tattoo and facial hair, shaved body, fake teets, etc. To blend in as a douchebag is one of life’s greatest embarrassments. To paraphrase Robeert Baldwin, Canadian Politician from the 1800s, “There is a great horror in not rising above mediocrity when you are a douchebag.”
Smugness is actually my most hated douche signifier. I’m willing to over look alot of things, smugness is not one of them.
I would say he looks like the kind of douche who you probably would just ignore. She looks like the kind of bitch you would dream about violently pummell fucking and stealing the money out of her purse when done.
She’s haughtier than Darksock using words you have to look up in the dictionary, words like “haughtier”
She’s haughtier than Queen Elizabeth when a Beefeater finds her again frolicing naked with he beloved Corgis.
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Is it OK to be loaded at noon when you have to MC four nights of terrible bands because tour old gym teacher Brutus caught you in an unguarded stoned moment and made you volunteer for thr reunion. I’m fucking zooded.
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Drunkards
Agree with DoucheyWallnuts, these are some mediocre douche and bleeth. Where’s the commitment to craft? Back in my day if you called yourself a douche, you went all out. Tatts, bling, hand signs, stupid facial hair, roid bod, you know full on Fish Slap-style.
And speaking of Fish Slap, would someone please go fuck that guy already?!
How’s it feel to look like every asshole on the planet smug?
@ Mandouchian Candidate 9:16 am
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That’s a great idea. It’s tradition, after all.
I would seriously like to punch him so his glasses split right there in the middle and fell off his face in 2 pieces. He has a very punch worthy face.