Friday, February 24, 2012

Friday Haiku

The gals were all so
Excited by Vinnie’s crabs…
Until they caught them.

BP CEO
Poses on Gulf vacation
“This tastes so oily . . .”

– Douche Wayne


I can’t hate this guy
he’s old and just wants seafood
with a side of hott

wait, I changed my mind
did not see his six pound watch
tonight, dine IN HELL

– Douche Springsteen

Saggy balls and crabs
Fat wallet, Jersey accent
Golddigging Bleeths win

– Capt. James T. Douche

Short sold Enron stock
Living the dream in Tampa
Still fat, bald, ugly

– Vin Douchal

Macy Gray Can’t sing
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.

– The Reverend Chad Kroeger

Ugly with money,
Fresh young Vagina they have,
Match made in Heaven.

– ASvB, aka Yoda

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# posted by DarkSock
Links n' stuff:
7:18 am February, 24 Douche Wayne said...

Benetton Beauties
Tony “Crabs” has the right bait
Hook, line and sinker.

7:21 am February, 24 The Dude said...

Danny DeVito?
Or is it Jack Nicholson?
Those are some old crabs.

7:22 am February, 24 Douche Wayne said...

BP CEO
Poses on Gulf vacation
“This tastes so oily . . .”

7:23 am February, 24 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Vinnie with trio of Hotts,
Mayan Eye Sistah,
All say, “Will ___ for seafood.”

7:27 am February, 24 Doucheywallnuts said...

The smell of Old Bag
Crabs and the bleeths’ bad snapper
Brings tears to my eyes

7:31 am February, 24 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Oldbag who has crabs
Bleeths flock to and fro Oldbag
Shave, shampoo for a fortnight

7:34 am February, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Bleeths smile coyly as
Vinnie gets napkin to wipe
away douche slime trails.

7:36 am February, 24 saulgoode42 said...

Danny Defeato
Shows us why the girls call him
Mr. Santy Claws

7:36 am February, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Vinnie holds out hands
as bleeths snap crabs with pooters.
All have nice dinner.

7:38 am February, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’ll bet all of you
thought Vinnie lost finger to
crab. Blonde tickled pink.

7:41 am February, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Fat Albert looks for
gumbo but only finds mix
of douche and bleeth crabs.

7:41 am February, 24 Douche Springsteen said...

I can’t hate this guy
he’s old and just wants seafood
with a side of hott

7:42 am February, 24 Douche Springsteen said...

wait, I changed my mind
did not see his six pound watch
tonight, dine IN HELL

7:47 am February, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“We have the best crabs
at Vinnies!” says slogan. Too
bad place is junkyard.

7:49 am February, 24 tall guy said...

Sauteed, steamed, cajun style,
You want mayo?
Foregeddabout.

7:50 am February, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Vinnie serenades
bleeths with air guitar solo.
Crabs make break for it.

8:02 am February, 24 Capt. James T. Douche said...

A Greasebag Gorges
The Bleeths giggle stupidly
Fingers reek of fish

8:03 am February, 24 ehcuodouche said...

Danny Devito
Lost two fingers while crabbing
The Aristocrats

8:09 am February, 24 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Geezerbag sucks crabs
False teeth plop onto Bleeth crotch
We all want to barf

8:31 am February, 24 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Saggy balls and crabs
Fat wallet, Jersey accent
Golddigging Bleeths win

8:45 am February, 24 C.G. said...

(actual commercial still)

9:17 am February, 24 DarkSock said...

Once the girls realized
“It’s Snooki with her weave off!!!”
They begged for a pose.

9:19 am February, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Mr Tater Head
Mourns at the open casket
Of his red head wife

9:22 am February, 24 Vin Douchal said...

There’s Delroy Largeman
Killing a large Four Loco
Now buffet must die

9:23 am February, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Crab stench permeates
Afternoon air thick and foul
Oh, there’s seafood, too

9:26 am February, 24 Vin Douchal said...

It’s always sunny
When you’ve got the cash to toss
At paid to pose babes

9:29 am February, 24 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Bleeth Crab Boil poo
Sergeant Bilko Gangsta Signs
Pour some out, Homies

Leisure suit Larry
on his Club Meh vacation,
girls blow for butter.

9:41 am February, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Macy Gray Can’t sing
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.

9:42 am February, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Never mind the crabs!
That Mulatto will ride your
Face till skin falls off.

9:42 am February, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Danny Devito
Is in some big shit when his
Wife Carla finds out.

9:44 am February, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

My uncle Rev. Joel
says, “What you think I’m gonna
Be faithful always?”

9:45 am February, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“So maybe they’e not
Kosher but they taste real
Nice. The crabs good too.”

9:46 am February, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Rabbi Dingleman
Is a hairy Jew. How hairy?
He caught crab with balls.

9:49 am February, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“You want I should touch
Shellfish? Neurologists don’t
Do that. Touch my cocck.

10:18 am February, 24 Adolf Skroatler said...

How to kill boredom
Hot girls of many flavors
and sweet, sweet crab.

10:24 am February, 24 Sir David Douchenborough said...

The nursing home girls
Need Walter Mathau’s money
Gives allergic shock

10:26 am February, 24 Sir David Douchenborough said...

cripes I messed that up, replace second line with:
Wants James Garner’s cash

10:31 am February, 24 Adolf Skroatler said...

When you have a guy that looks like him, sitting with girls that look like them, he’s got cash-ola.
-
-
Ugly with money,
Fresh young Vagina they have,
Match made in Heaven.
-
ASvB

10:37 am February, 24 Adolf Skroatler said...

Fat pudgy fingers,
How many can they handle?
Wow, three in each one!
-
ASvB

10:49 am February, 24 Geoffrey said...

Andrew Zimmern
Lookalike Old Bag
Crab infestation

11:04 am February, 24 Douche Wayne said...

Instead of Wet-Naps
each diner at Crabby’s gets
own finger-lickers.

11:11 am February, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Short sold Enron stock
Living the dream in Tampa
Still fat, bald, ugly

11:31 am February, 24 Claude Douchenbagger said...

Ladies, Daddy Issues
Oldfart douche, midlife crisis
Crab, glad to be dead

11:56 am February, 24 Vin Douchal said...

It’s about that time
Darksock’s three martini lunch
Front page deadline met

12:12 pm February, 24 Morbo said...

Foxy Brown’s enthralled,
Danny’s pumped for night o’fun;
Plaid man’s sick, ain’t crabs

Dan quotes Robocop:
“I’d buy that for a dollar!”
Hotts accept offer

12:33 pm February, 24 The Dude said...

Who would’ve thought that
Jack Nicholson’s Bucket List
Included three chicks?

12:38 pm February, 24 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Old Bag’s one night out
A big shot at Joe’s Crab Shack
With 3 C-list bleeths

12:40 pm February, 24 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Crabs glad to be dead
Rather than have to witness
These 4 in person

1:12 pm February, 24 Wheezer said...

Danny DeSpeedo
comes up short, shows how much by
counting on fingers.

1:13 pm February, 24 Wheezer said...

Always Sunny In
Philly? Baltimore crab cakes,
hotts look quite tasty.

1:19 pm February, 24 Wheezer said...

Ronnie from Joizey
decided ta head sout’ fer
some fun, got some crabs.

1:47 pm February, 24 Wheezer said...

Crustacean, he ain’t,
for good or bad; he’s got crust,
but has flabs, not abs.

6:21 pm February, 24 Nostradouchus said...

I got three bitches.
And I got a lot of food.
They’re cheating on me.

9:11 pm February, 25 Blah said...

Stranger in plaid shirt
Doubled over in background
One clam too many.

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