Friday, February 24, 2012

Friday Haiku

The gals were all so

Excited by Vinnie’s crabs…

Until they caught them.

BP CEO

Poses on Gulf vacation

“This tastes so oily . . .”

– Douche Wayne


I can’t hate this guy

he’s old and just wants seafood

with a side of hott

wait, I changed my mind

did not see his six pound watch

tonight, dine IN HELL

– Douche Springsteen

Saggy balls and crabs

Fat wallet, Jersey accent

Golddigging Bleeths win

– Capt. James T. Douche

Short sold Enron stock

Living the dream in Tampa

Still fat, bald, ugly

– Vin Douchal

Macy Gray Can’t sing

Since the gyroscope was put

In her monkey hole.

– The Reverend Chad Kroeger

Ugly with money,

Fresh young Vagina they have,

Match made in Heaven.

– ASvB, aka Yoda

# posted by Bagnonymous
7:18 am February, 24 Douche Wayne said...

Benetton Beauties

Tony “Crabs” has the right bait

Hook, line and sinker.

7:21 am February, 24 The Dude said...

Danny DeVito?

Or is it Jack Nicholson?

Those are some old crabs.

7:22 am February, 24 Douche Wayne said...

BP CEO

Poses on Gulf vacation

“This tastes so oily . . .”

7:23 am February, 24 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Vinnie with trio of Hotts,

Mayan Eye Sistah,

All say, “Will ___ for seafood.”

7:27 am February, 24 Doucheywallnuts said...

The smell of Old Bag

Crabs and the bleeths’ bad snapper

Brings tears to my eyes

7:31 am February, 24 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Oldbag who has crabs

Bleeths flock to and fro Oldbag

Shave, shampoo for a fortnight

7:34 am February, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Bleeths smile coyly as

Vinnie gets napkin to wipe

away douche slime trails.

7:36 am February, 24 saulgoode42 said...

Danny Defeato

Shows us why the girls call him

Mr. Santy Claws

7:36 am February, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Vinnie holds out hands

as bleeths snap crabs with pooters.

All have nice dinner.

7:38 am February, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’ll bet all of you

thought Vinnie lost finger to

crab. Blonde tickled pink.

7:41 am February, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Fat Albert looks for

gumbo but only finds mix

of douche and bleeth crabs.

7:41 am February, 24 Douche Springsteen said...

I can’t hate this guy

he’s old and just wants seafood

with a side of hott

7:42 am February, 24 Douche Springsteen said...

wait, I changed my mind

did not see his six pound watch

tonight, dine IN HELL

7:47 am February, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“We have the best crabs

at Vinnies!” says slogan. Too

bad place is junkyard.

7:49 am February, 24 tall guy said...

Sauteed, steamed, cajun style,

You want mayo?

Foregeddabout.

7:50 am February, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Vinnie serenades

bleeths with air guitar solo.

Crabs make break for it.

8:02 am February, 24 Capt. James T. Douche said...

A Greasebag Gorges

The Bleeths giggle stupidly

Fingers reek of fish

8:03 am February, 24 ehcuodouche said...

Danny Devito

Lost two fingers while crabbing

The Aristocrats

8:09 am February, 24 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Geezerbag sucks crabs

False teeth plop onto Bleeth crotch

We all want to barf

8:31 am February, 24 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Saggy balls and crabs

Fat wallet, Jersey accent

Golddigging Bleeths win

8:45 am February, 24 C.G. said...

(actual commercial still)

9:17 am February, 24 DarkSock said...

Once the girls realized

“It’s Snooki with her weave off!!!”

They begged for a pose.

9:19 am February, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Mr Tater Head

Mourns at the open casket

Of his red head wife

9:22 am February, 24 Vin Douchal said...

There’s Delroy Largeman

Killing a large Four Loco

Now buffet must die

9:23 am February, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Crab stench permeates

Afternoon air thick and foul

Oh, there’s seafood, too

9:26 am February, 24 Vin Douchal said...

It’s always sunny

When you’ve got the cash to toss

At paid to pose babes

9:29 am February, 24 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Bleeth Crab Boil poo

Sergeant Bilko Gangsta Signs

Pour some out, Homies

Leisure suit Larry

on his Club Meh vacation,

girls blow for butter.

9:41 am February, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Macy Gray Can’t sing

Since the gyroscope was put

In her monkey hole.

9:42 am February, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Never mind the crabs!

That Mulatto will ride your

Face till skin falls off.

9:42 am February, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Danny Devito

Is in some big shit when his

Wife Carla finds out.

9:44 am February, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

My uncle Rev. Joel

says, “What you think I’m gonna

Be faithful always?”

9:45 am February, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“So maybe they’e not

Kosher but they taste real

Nice. The crabs good too.”

9:46 am February, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Rabbi Dingleman

Is a hairy Jew. How hairy?

He caught crab with balls.

9:49 am February, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“You want I should touch

Shellfish? Neurologists don’t

Do that. Touch my cocck.

10:18 am February, 24 Adolf Skroatler said...

How to kill boredom

Hot girls of many flavors

and sweet, sweet crab.

10:24 am February, 24 Sir David Douchenborough said...

The nursing home girls

Need Walter Mathau’s money

Gives allergic shock

10:26 am February, 24 Sir David Douchenborough said...

cripes I messed that up, replace second line with:

Wants James Garner’s cash

10:31 am February, 24 Adolf Skroatler said...

When you have a guy that looks like him, sitting with girls that look like them, he’s got cash-ola.

-

-

Ugly with money,

Fresh young Vagina they have,

Match made in Heaven.

-

ASvB

10:37 am February, 24 Adolf Skroatler said...

Fat pudgy fingers,

How many can they handle?

Wow, three in each one!

-

ASvB

10:49 am February, 24 Geoffrey said...

Andrew Zimmern

Lookalike Old Bag

Crab infestation

11:04 am February, 24 Douche Wayne said...

Instead of Wet-Naps

each diner at Crabby’s gets

own finger-lickers.

11:11 am February, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Short sold Enron stock

Living the dream in Tampa

Still fat, bald, ugly

11:31 am February, 24 Claude Douchenbagger said...

Ladies, Daddy Issues

Oldfart douche, midlife crisis

Crab, glad to be dead

11:56 am February, 24 Vin Douchal said...

It’s about that time

Darksock’s three martini lunch

Front page deadline met

12:12 pm February, 24 Morbo said...

Foxy Brown’s enthralled,

Danny’s pumped for night o’fun;

Plaid man’s sick, ain’t crabs

Dan quotes Robocop:

“I’d buy that for a dollar!”

Hotts accept offer

12:33 pm February, 24 The Dude said...

Who would’ve thought that

Jack Nicholson’s Bucket List

Included three chicks?

12:38 pm February, 24 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Old Bag’s one night out

A big shot at Joe’s Crab Shack

With 3 C-list bleeths

12:40 pm February, 24 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Crabs glad to be dead

Rather than have to witness

These 4 in person

1:12 pm February, 24 Wheezer said...

Danny DeSpeedo

comes up short, shows how much by

counting on fingers.

1:13 pm February, 24 Wheezer said...

Always Sunny In

Philly? Baltimore crab cakes,

hotts look quite tasty.

1:19 pm February, 24 Wheezer said...

Ronnie from Joizey

decided ta head sout’ fer

some fun, got some crabs.

1:47 pm February, 24 Wheezer said...

Crustacean, he ain’t,

for good or bad; he’s got crust,

but has flabs, not abs.

6:21 pm February, 24 Nostradouchus said...

I got three bitches.

And I got a lot of food.

They’re cheating on me.

9:11 pm February, 25 Blah said...

Stranger in plaid shirt

Doubled over in background

One clam too many.

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