Saturday, March 10, 2012

HCwDB of the Month: The Uberbros and Pear Alice

Your humble and busy narrator finally has a moment to tally up the HCwDB of the Month voting. And a close vote it t’was.

After a spirited debate, and be spirited I mean hair product, The Uberbros and Pear Alice barely managed to topple the broborgian Brobot and Curvy Kelly to take the prize and win (lose).

Lets hear from a few voters:

Doucheywallnuts: The Uberbros FTW (Loss!). They are disturbing in a new and unique way, which is tough to do in this day and age. The collection of hair products on the counter and the bleeth’s ass is just icing on the cake.

Jeet Kune Douche: Uberbros and Alice – WE HAVE A WINNER!!! Alice has Teh Silky Smoove Vanilla Flavored Whipped Cream Pear Of Legend. I ABASE MYSELF TO YOU, ALICE. And the Uberbros………. need to be dipped in a vat of honey and tied down over a Fire Ant mound.

Dixierecht: Hard to believe Uberbros go out in public without getting their asses kicked for being so douchey.

Sergeant Poop: Uberbros, because, well, do I even need an explanation?

Nancy Dreuche: my vote goes to the Uberbros for the lack of teamwork and trust displayed in their pic. That shot could have been easily captured with one camera and then forwarded to the other bro allowing said bro to have the use of two functioning hands. In turn he probably would have used that freedom to apply more hair gel instead of grabbing the hott by her hample haunches and giving it to her canine style, but alas that is the way of the modern douche. All style and no sexstance.

Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche: The Uberbros and Pear Alice FTW! Why? There’s quality AND quantity here. We have two, count ‘em TWO douches that are equally vomitrotious in their own right next to what appears to be some sort of angel mistakenly placed between them. Now, I used to work in a grocery store many moons ago and I knows what a fine, ripe pear looks like and what we have here is sure as hell one. They, on the other hand, were what I scraped off the meat room floor every night after the butcher had been dancing in entrails and blood all day. Dichotomy they name is The Uberbros and Pear Alice.

Coming in third was The Scrufwad and Jenny Milkshake, and fourth, but with support, Lord Helmet and Vespa Hott. But for sheer hairassity and buttcurvery, it was an HCwDB douchepocalypse

Lets let Medusa Oblongata take us home

Uberbors. Because I want to uberpunch them in their ubertaints and then dive face-first into her uberass.

There it is. And your humble narrator for home cooked HoHo.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
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# posted by douchebag1
Links n' stuff:
1:41 pm March, 10 DarkSock said...

The fact that the Uberbro’s bro-hawks are the perfect reverse image of Pear Alice’s sodden rear grotto only makes me hate them more.

1:49 pm March, 10 tall guy said...

Overly engineered pair=Rube Goldberg HCwDB Monthly.
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Just sayin’.

1:59 pm March, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Her pair is almost as nice as Marisa Tomei’s. I tried to get a date with Marisa back in the 90′s but that fucking Costanza and his bald Portugese head kept getting in the way. Fucking cockblocker Robert Costanza. I should have go that fellowship you ecology hack fucker. Fuck you!

2:01 pm March, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fucking Tall Guy’s gettin me to spell in Australian. It’s pear you koala-loving German-dating Dreuche taunting Aussie-rules footbal playing bastard. Son.

2:02 pm March, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^got
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Fucking Finnish floors are a bitch on the back. Funny talking fuckers make nice flooring fuck.

2:05 pm March, 10 tall guy said...

And Constanza left Tomei’s place the morning after their date toting a copy of Dreuche’s baked ham in his back pocket as well, Kroeger. There’s ya moment of ultimate debauchery.

2:07 pm March, 10 tall guy said...

Kroeger, the pair I was referring to was the Uberbros.

2:41 pm March, 10 The Dude said...

Brobot Not?!?
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Ballot stuffers

2:51 pm March, 10 Geoffrey said...

i believe this is the 2nd monthly i’ve ever won as a tagger. cheers bros.

2:52 pm March, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

Worth the wait DB1, worth the wait. How’s “Help I’m a Z-List Celebrity Trapped Inside Kim Kardashian’s Ass” coming along? Alls I’m saying is there best be a book I can not buy to accompany it. I kid, I kid. But seriously at least your website is still dope.
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tall guy your obsession with my ham obsession is starting to concern me more than my ham obsession is. And I just made a literal ham wallet so its getting pretty bad.
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The Dude, more Jack Nicholson three-way stories please. Does he say “Here’s Johnny” when he shoots his load?

3:55 pm March, 10 Vin Douchal said...

The UberSchmoes also appeared up in Arlo Guthrie’s smash follow up, “Alice’s Motel Shitter” an 18:23 minute tale about manscaping, hair applicants, and cum swallerin’ during an overnight drunk tank adventure. True story
.
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Stadenkos

4:53 pm March, 10 Doucheywallnuts said...

I know girls who have a Ham Wallet in their pants. Ham Wallet, I says.

6:34 pm March, 10 tall guy said...

US Ham Wallets=Aus Corned Beef Curtains.
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Brine is the common denominator.

9:57 pm March, 10 Matt.S said...

We can not stop laughing, that shit is funny. Dude looks like he is gonna take a bit out of neck weirdo is what come to mind.

11:53 pm March, 10 tall guy said...

Yo Dreuche, do you pole dance?

12:53 am March, 11 DarkSock said...

Hell, Tall Guy…eventually they all do.
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Except for Janet Reno.
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.
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Medical FACT.

4:22 am March, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, I pole dance as often as you get laid. Check and mate, mate.

5:42 am March, 11 Douchble Helix said...

This is a test…
.

5:42 am March, 11 Douchble Helix said...

^^^ Success!!

7:02 am March, 11 The Dude said...

Nancy, I’ve got a great one for you! One time these Uberbros showed up at Jack’s house in the hills, and _______________________________________________________
(redacted)
.
*sniff*

7:20 am March, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Douchble Helix, I was gonna tell you the sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results but since you’re happy with your invisible jpeg I’ll leave it be.

8:15 am March, 11 Douchble Helix said...

“Invisible”?!?!?!

8:19 am March, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Helix, unlike your panty line, yes, invisible. Maybe if you werent such a dick all the time DB1 might let you post a few pics. Try not being a dick and see if that works.

9:32 am March, 11 tall guy said...

Dreuche, just stamp your feet and sulk until daddio installs a pole. Its always worked in the past.

10:32 am March, 11 DarkSock said...

Don’t listen to her, Helix; I can see your avatar. It’s a blank white circle on top of a blank white lozenge shape with a slate gray background. It looks just like Nancy’s!

12:46 pm March, 11 The Dude said...

@tallguy: and by “installs a pole” you mean…?

12:48 pm March, 11 The Dude said...

The blank avatar looks like a butterfly.
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Sincerely, the only guy to ace the Rhorschach exam.
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Flutter by.

1:42 pm March, 11 tall guy said...

@The Dude, nothing nasty. Just a quick left jab at Dreuche’s allegedly idyllic childhood.
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I know these things. For over two decades I was confidant to moguls and slave to barbarians.

6:54 pm March, 11 Douchble Helix said...

Whenever I receive behavioral ‘coaching’ from a member of the distaff side, I’m reminded of this Sir Winston Churchill bon mot:
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At a party, a distinguished society woman came upon the Prime Minister, who had obviously been partaking. Heavily.
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“Sir Winston, you’re drunk!!” she exclaimed derisively.
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Drawing himself, as best he could, to his full stature, the esteemed Churchill replied, “Shove it up your ass, you ugly cunt.”
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Na mean?

12:29 pm March, 12 FinderGirth said...

Pear Alice is an awesome name. And it’s always great to see Kevin Smith’s douchey little brother getting some love.

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