Friday, April 27, 2012
Friday Haiku
Behold Rocker Todd:
Knows how to make barre chords, but
Can’t put on a shirt
Glenn Danzig Old Bag
Instead of singing “Mother”
Brings her to next gig.
— Douche Wayne
Leather, mesh, hair, dirt
Reminiscent of one thing
My bathtub’s drain hole
— Justin
Hercules, Xena
Have seen better days than this
Now battle the herp
— Dude McCrudeshoes
It places the shirt
In the basket or it gets
The hose. Her skin hose.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Ratt. Jackyll. Great White.
Best animal names taken.
Meet Marmoset.
— Baron Von Goolo
Yeah, I’d tap that hott.
I’d flop like a fish in nets.
Freeing butterfly!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
twenty-six reds and
a bottle of wine should take
care of Rocker Todd
— Douche Springsteen
Glenn Danzig Old Bag
Instead of singing “Mother”
Brings her to next gig.
Metal band “El Bano”
Includes tranny Chaz on drums
Chin fung is roadie
Dreamcatcher necklace?
More like nightmare on douche street
Let’s end this franchise
Enormous chin pubes
Like bush on 80’s porn star
Maybe it was hers
Rock group “El Bano”
Literally means “bathroom”
Coupla turds here
What’s that creaking sound?
Could it be her leather pants?
Nope; his leather skin.
Oldbag Chester hopes
Dianabol Cocktail still works
Fran Drescher got old
Leather, mesh, hair, dirt
Reminiscent of one thing
My bathtub’s drain hole
Rockerbag denial
Tigress Vanessa Del Rio
can still guzzle jizz
Two sad, old rockers
Desperately clinging to youth
Go put kids to bed
Big hair, bigger boobs
She has some nice tits well.
See how I did that?
Fred Durst is the best!
Les Paul? Never heard of him.
Let’s cover “Nookie.”
In the studio
Wih the artist and his muse
Nipple solo – yow!
Crusty pizza box
Captain Lou Albano’s box
Dirty groupie box
damn…I forgot the “as”
.
Big hair, bigger boobs
She has some nice tits AS well
See how I did that?
.
much better
Nothing But The Best,
For The Least Amount Of Cash,
That Blue Makes Me Sick.
.
ASvB
Sometimes it’s bad luck
Just seeing something like this
To quote Bill Murray
She has a flare up,
It’s time for some quick thinking,
Unpack the Valtrex.
.
ASvB
The vent is broken,
It smells like ball-sack in here,
And rotten fish eggs.
.
ASvB
Local armory
holds wrasslin’ Friday nights
Defending title
–
–
Different Tact
^ Tack
He knocked, and walked in,
She quipped, “Please, take your shirt off.”
He wasted no time.
.
ASvB
Hercules, Xena
Have seen better days than this
Now battle the herp
Smells like Teen Spirit?
Not for several decades
There’s moss on his stones.
He can’t wear chest shirts
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
“Whatch ya mean I look
Stupid like Stephen Baldwin”
I got fucking abs.”
And lo’ the Banshee cry
Of old Aldor screams heavy.
“Hey, got any Pepcid.”
Years later stuck in
Still trying to cash in as
School of Rock Loser
http://nate-becky.blogspot.com/2008/02/i-found-sleeve-only-guy.html
Bumper sticker on
Tour school bus says. “MY OTHER
SHIRT IS A FRONT, SON”
The rules of the road don’t
Change much. “ASS. GRASS, OR SHIRT NO
BODY RIDES FOR FREE.”
Todd forgot to wipe
chin turd groupie left behind
when she rode his face
Rocker Todd don’t care
About getting holes in pants. Makes
Patches from his shirt.
The kingdom of Farto
Is safe with the return of King
Chest and Lady Boobies.
Backstage at Mr.
Blackstone awards. They win “Most
Shirted/Unshirted”
“Great pic dude. Next one
I think we should shake it up.
Let me see you’re cocks.”
Gyroscope? Hell, no.
I’ve seen nicer monkey holes
On Nat Geo site.
Look at what I found
Hiding in the Ladies Room
A Pier One Carpet
Nothing more to see
Glamour Shots for rocker douche
She is just a prop
Exiting shower,
Jon Bon Douchi breaks his hip;
Slippery when wet.
“Eat hearty of your
Closet breakfast for tonight
We dine in Hall.” Son.
What grows on his chin
Has to do with where its been
Munching nasty rugs
He asks the question,
Wanted Dead or Alive? We
all know the answer.
It places the shirt
In the basket or it gets
The hose. Her skin hose.
Escapees from The
Island of Dr Moreau
Hiding in plain sight
A proud day for Mutt
holding his GED cert.
first of his cave clan
“Three chords and the truth”
Traditional punk mantra
Todd just lies, lies, lies.
Banger reality
Shows. “Who’s Got My Damn Shirt.” and
“Don’t Forget The Wipe.”
“Humunkulous and
Boobzilla” Coming Soon in
Scatch and Sniff 3-D.
It’s patient zero
Monkey pox epidemic
With catheter nurse
Too cool for the room
Seems it’s contagious in here
Later, “Fries with that?”
The new Mad Max flick
Staring Mangler Jackson in
Beyond Pornodrome
^two men enter, two men leave, yo…
Big Stephen Baldwin,
I see you got your dream job
As Rupaul’s fluffer
Todd on bass guitar
Lives his life in the kick drum
Kinda cramped in there
There’s nothing wrong here
That The BeDazzler™ can’t fix!
More rhinestones, betchezz!
What a sloppy wreck
Buncha crap strewn everywhere
The room’s a mess, too
Ratt. Jackyll. Great White.
Best animal names taken.
Meet Marmoset.
The only real thing
about this horrific pic
is my true disgust.
That el Bano piece
Is an old record player
The kids won’t ‘member.
But he ain’t Wolfman
At best he’s just Dogpoo, right?
And us old shits laugh.
After show at the
School cafetorium, now
Load up the Scion
They pulled on his shirt.
Up over his head. Also
Gave him a Wedgie
So I guess this is
Death Toungue in person? He’s Bill
and she is Opus?
Yeah, I’d tap that hott.
I’d flop like a fish in nets.
Freeing butterfly!
There really is no
way to make rhythm tuba
look cool so lift shirt?
Death Tongue hands out cards
for low cost car washes post
gig. We need bucks, yo!
There’s a dried pee stain
On the rug at his right foot.
Stage fright crimps career.
Kip Winger found that
bleeth in “Seventeen” vid. Be
careful what’s wished for.
Someone remind me
to buy more shares in Chinese
pleather stocks, OK?
He;’s got Groupon chit.
Half off 2 burgers tonight.
Dubuque: Livin Large!
Morrison, Hendrix
and Cobain all had sense to
cash in before this.
I got 69!!!
Well, that comment, anyway.
Sex? Eh, not so much.
No, sir. You cannot.
Big novelty credit cards
Aren’t good for butt plugs.
Doc and I go nuts!
Two Large coffee for you, too?
May need to stop/piss!
Mickey Rourke stand in
for “The Wrestler II” trades clothes
with Tomei’s crack whore.
Rockerbag Pot Luck
San Fernando Valley site
Bleeth brings STDs
twenty-six reds and
a bottle of wine should take
care of Rocker Todd
parents’ fantasies
have real life consequences
embarassed children
had Alan Freed known
he would have quit radio
and gone into sales
Icey stare Todd goes bare
American puritanism subjugated
Ham OD next
Batter up!
This is FDD. WTF? This won’t post 3 times?? I hit haiku limit? Try this as Anon
Todd shows confidence.
His pizza coupon WILL work!
Expired 4/15.
“twenty six reds and
a bottle of wine.” Fuck me.
Now that’s in my head.
Wine comes in boxes
Since the the gyroscope was put
In Friday Haiku.
“Meat Marmoset” is
The new ’69’ for the
Shirt-challenged dipshits.
Meat Marmoset is
The new monkeyscope for the
Gyrocologists
Oro Norteño
Has a great rhythm Tuba
ehh, some other pic
Tall Guy pulling out the rare and near-extinct 7-13-5 Haiku today. Well played.
Why no Picks by Noon?
What has happened to Fridays?
Winners BEFORE Thoughts!!
Wow, look at the Douche,
“Backstage pass” gets him street cred,
Must be a drummer.
@ Haiku Nazi – he was fighting Tallbot for the keyboard
@ FrankDD – another boat accident for Darksock?
I’m glad that you caught
my Jim Carrol reference
Baron Von Goolo
Good werk, ‘Sock — you’ve got 74,000 haikus to sort thru. Just because you have a {quote] life [/quote] or one of those *jobs* doesn’t mean you get a full day pass from hot Chicks in Wonderland! Step up, and put one of Rev’s terrifying 17-syllable tomes under your — granted that was decent work, and by decent I mean…
It’s 6 on East Coast!
I’m like a cat for catnip.
Where’s fuccen Winners?!?!?
At least he’s doin’ what he loves: rocking out.
Ignore the fact no one goes to the low-life bars his “band” is playing and that life on the “road” (read county-wide) gave him crabs and herpes, and bad tribal tatts.
No, he’s not sacrificing his music for anything! He’ll make it big one day soon…
And on to his pathetic life.
Hey mom, why does it burn so bad when I pee pee…..?
Tight jeans, tiny feet
Belie shrinking cranium
Balls and dignity
The eighties are dead,
but someone forgot to tell…
this stupid asshole.
Haiku Nazi marshalls
Lenny? No Squiggy!
Da Mid West too fancy…
8:30 EST and all’s well. And by “well” I mean “no winners.” The natives are getting restless. And by “restless” I mean “a couple of guys in the Friday Thoughts And Links thread are ready to fellate The Boss.” And by “The Boss” I don’t mean DB1.
Someone call the Coast Guard.
Cool Springsteen song Vin. Word boys. I just got a great blowjob, then smoked, and still check in to this before I visit my lover in the den to decant a bottle of port and watch Storage Wars while the kids are gone. Yuuuuuuuuuuup!
.
Dark Sock is Tardos
Welcome to Haiku-of-the-Month Club! As soon as any of us begin manstrating, we’ll all get our pheremoans in sync and summon the great ‘Sock.
.
Either that or not.
I bet he forgot.
I’m blazed waiting for bacon
And eggs to cook.
What?
Tired of jerking off
To mesh-strained gothic boobies
Po’tree in lotion
There are no winners
With Haiku or in picture
Nihilism reigns
I saw milk carton
With Dark Sock’s picture on it
No winners this week
Call authorities
¿Dónde está Señor Sock?
Check the waiver line
Fuck, Wallnuts wins it
At eight seventeen p.m.
My life has ended.
.
Naw, I like the buzz too march! What month is it?
Vin, if your name was
Larry, you’d be killing me
with Haiku punchlines
I will make a bet
What is the over/under
On DarkSock’s thread here?
.
Hundred fifty?
If I take ‘over’
This area will be strewn
With forgotten thoughts.
.
^ I went traditional, without mentioning butterflies or death.
Give props to ‘The Dude’
For carrying the water
That DarkSock forgot
Little do they know
Guggenheim in ’23
will be Haiku-strewn
I am still alive
Why didn’t I mark my place
At Gugg. ’23?
.
Looking fwd
Velociraptors
Have nothing to do with
The trash in this pic
.
but the comment sticks. Where things aren’t s’posed to go!
47 more
but thass ok becuz i
got haikuschnizzle
Bob Morely wrote some
excellent reggae tunes when
i was just a gleam
.
^more life & death themes without butterflies and dead babies. Achievement!
Butterflies and death
Yet born with a silver spoon
Nah, can’t finish that!
I give up for now
Will check on the douchebag site
in a little while
.
And by ‘little’ I mean something very different. Than.
I got the ‘over’
But now it is 120
Pay me, Mr. TRUMP!
El baño’s concerned.
He faces deportation,
despite his green card.
El hermit’s concerned.
The gulf coast has heavy surf,
and small craft warnings.
Count DarkSock-ula
MIA into Sat’day
Dude abides all night!
Sunrise Saturday
Yet still there are no winners
Dark Sock; AWOLos
Filling the big void
Left by no Haiku winners
Is masterbation
Open End Haiku!
Is this for ALL the Marbles?
Will Win List double?
Who the fuc heard of
Saturday Haiku ’round here?
Overtime!! Dammit!!
Management has slipped.
Probably with alpacas.
And that just ain’t right.
Posting time is wrong?
Even clock has gone to hell.
Pear Reparations!!!
Dude, Wallnuts and me.
Keep on writing in the wind.
Like piss; less blowback.
R.I.P. Dark Sock
It’s like we hardly knew you.
Hold on, yes we did!
He’s in a better
place right now. Stables galore
and lots of horse butts.
Hell hath no fury,
Like the swift and well-placed hoof
of an angry mare.
Haiku’s lonely sad,
No winners without the ‘Sock,
Boats crash inside soul.
.
– management
Old men tell tales of
A man-mouse appearing
In the cool sping mist.
Dying with a healthy
Prostate, that is how he will
Be remembered. Son.
Davey Jones Locker
Now rehab center for young
Abused sea horses.
Like young Jack Sparrow
Before him. Dark Sock rocks the
Keith Richards chinfung.
In bizarre turn, Dark
Sock posts picture of self, wife
Flees to the Falklands.
Drafted in fourth round
The Cincinnati douchegals
Have picked the dark Sock
I want my organs
Ravaged by passionate girl-
on-girl threesomes. Son
Waiting for winners
That should have been named Friday;
Haikusterbating
Haikusterbating?
Doesn’t that lead to chafing,
swelling and redness?
Soy un perdedor
Playing xbox live, Waiting
For Godot. Dark Sock?
Darksock fuccen flakes
Still reading Doucheywallnuts’
Friday storytime
.
Dark Sock where are you?
Story time will be longer
If you don’t show soon
Somewhere in the gulf,
An empty Ambien® vial,
Has washed up on shore.
Took kids to the zoo
Winners on my mind all day
peed on a gibbon.
Time for directions!
Regulars need to post pics.
How else we know them?
Referring, of course.
To those small pics by your name.
You know – those Icons!
Who the Fuc heard of
SUNDAY Haiku???? Well i’ts here!
Now WTF, huh?
I’d still like to bone
that hott leathered, fishnett mess
I would scrapbook that!
It AIN’T five oh eight.
It’s more like six fifty two.
Geez, my life’s crumbling!!
We should burn Dark Sock!?
In Effigy? Like a Norse?
Maybe like a Fart?
Naughty Norses are
better than the thought that ‘Sock
Has met his maker
.
kunk! kunk! Here ‘Socky ‘Socky! I hope you only got arrested for some stupid shit! That happened to me, when I was a kid. In my early 40’s
Gothic sea hunt drags
this pair from kelp beds, tears net,
bares his gator abs.
Dark Sock’s deathly sick
comments are missed, pair dons black
in memoriam.
Back in the day they
wore hair nets, not boob nets, to
hold back the danglers.
Sunday, Go to church
Pray that Dark Sock is well, or
For his successor
Now its Sunday noon.
STILL hold hope for Front Page post.
Dark Sock found a herd?
Damn…It’s gonna take
All fuccen day to sort through
These epic haiku…
Damn…Can’t a guy take
a quick boating excursion
Into Limbo-Land?
Cougarrific hott
Posing with slab of roast beef
In blue room of shame.
And that’s a wrap folks!
Epic 3-day one-sixty!
Damn those horses butts!