Monday, June 18, 2012
HCwDB of the Week: Moses McJesus and Mary Poochdalene
Once again I just can’t select a Herpster as the HCwDB of the Week. I have a block, I tell you, a block. And by block, I mean hatred for those who order microbrews and pay with quarters.
Besting Funger Whackenstein and Angie by a douchetatt, Moses McJ and Mary win for sheer religious douchery.
But last week also saw award Brooke’s Award Winning Golden Globes, and the pouty perfection of Mindy Pout in the aforementioned Herpster disgrace, and the barely legal hotts of Dieselcrotch.
But something about the unholy Moses/Jesus tatt configuration, and the secky pooch of slutty hotty Mary Poochdalene, takes the prize this week.
And your humble narrator for instant oatmeal with raisins.
Agree with the Moses/Jesus combo thing. Guys fucking confused. How long with Bulldog Grip and silicone keep my toilet’s tank together we will all find out soon? Mrs. Kroeger made good on her fitness initiative today by going on a primal diet and spending an hour with a trainer this morning. I hope ten weeks will do wonders, Here’s the before picture.
http://jokeyomama.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/fatmama03.jpg
He also likes Chronic Tacos.
She’s the closest you can get to looking like a hot retard while not actually being a retard.
Douchey Wallnuts is onto something, she looks like she has fragile X syndrome which is a nice way of the medical community saying your kid is sort of retarded but will pass for normal on goverment forms and you better get use to visiting Chuckie Cheeses a lot. He on the other hand is probably “genetically” normal except for the third testicle and cleft anus.
http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/anogenital+cleft
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Cleft anus, I says.
Stunned. In a week with Mitch and Monica and the Funger, this is a huge upset from where I sit (a well worn barcalounger that smells of cheetos and old milwaukee).
I’m hoping my wife’s boot camp protein pill summer will solve all of her feminine problems.
http://www.emedicinehealth.com/vaginal_prolapse/article_em.htm#Vaginal Prolapse Overview
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If I’m lucky she’ll look like this by summer’s end.
http://t0.gstatic.com/imagesq=tbn:ANd9GcRp0xA1q9OP0qh64p4dXalIuVPEY5zW4j-Yvuu-XdX7O8iCB16bDA
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Son
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This.
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http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTc78eCh4UphNLARwqv-fKjU_-bczXPOrjqZxjTlsXrre_Ro-lh
I mean this. That guys a queer.
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http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT4aJc3UAeRQXEM47cUGh5lPsn_00_ugX7IcfRQMmeXXD-tTR1RtQ
He has empty eyes. She has an empty cup. I’d like to empty that room with a tremendous fart cloud courtesy of Hormel chili and beans
Wait, I’m supposed to be pissed that he’s hitting that instead of me? Nah, I’m good.
Mo McJ has just been been confused ever since John Travolta grabbed him by the shank when he was parking cars at Buffalo Gals in Santa Monica back in ’02…with a wink & a smile JT said, “here’s your tip”…Mo slept in the closet with a binky for a week chanting himself to sleep with the mantra, “I’m not gay, I’m not gay…”
He has empty eyes. She has a full gut.
While I don’t disagree Moses McJebus, I must say that Funger Whackenstein and Angie will be one of those Douchie Awards wildcard thrown in to round out the foursomes.
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They will resurface. Oh yes, they will. Scorpion tatts and ladies’ shades don’t just drift away.
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Dobie Grays.
Oops! Left out a “with the choice of” up there. Damn it.
Shit: wildcardS**
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Proofreaders.
Wasn’t Moses a HeBrah!?
Yeah, it’s time to reinstate weekly voting. This one has Diebold scribbled all over it.
He’s a friggin’ Pizza-Bagel I sez!
He’s half Italian – half Jewish.
He also happens to be poo – ish.
His belly tat literally translated reads:
DOUCHE
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True story