Friday Haiku
Kandi Kane enjoys
Her new ‘bag stereo:
In Douche 2.0
This situation
Has ruined any hope of
Legalization
— Capt. James T. Douche
Even Jane Goodall
couldn’t wrap her mind around
this social construct.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
The Clit/Hemp combo
Is not enough to rouse twins
Out of drug stupor
— DoucheyWallnuts
She has stopped breathing
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Chronic Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Pot leaf on her cooch
bondage tape on her nipples
Bad choices ev’rywhere.
— Morbo
“After you bang me
Leave your hats on this here shelf.
These are from today.”
— DoucheyWallnuts
Everything they wear,
think, speak is branded. Faces
need branding iron.
— Wheezer
Hooker on the floor
Ping ping balls fired from biznatch
Might be injuries
— Vin Douchal
This is a Shipwreck
Of such epic proportions
Let’s weep for Mankind!
There’s not enough weed
in the world to get me near
wherever this is.
Wiggas have an orgy
The Mayan prophecy comes
To pass we are doomed!
Katy Perry hits
the skids HARD after Mayer
dumping. Rock bottom.
Looks like black-taped boobs.
They should get rolls for faces –
The Real nasty bits!
Remember kids just
Say no to dope which should not
Be hard to do now!
Is the one in the
middle the secret triplet?
Chills on back of neck.
Pre-op or post-op?
Doesn’t matter. My eyes can’t
unsee this horror.
Even they can have
a moment of clarity
by looks on faces.
So what happens when
all three get gyroscopes put
in their monkey holes?
Ever since their split
Kristen Stewart’s had trouble
Replacing her douche
Bastard children of
Marshall Mathers drop seed in
Meth addict love chute
Twin douchebags love weed
So much so, in fact, they got
This new joint roller
Post shrimping buffet
The wiggas use her monkey
Hole for some bong hits
Not cool, Darksock, not cool.
I’m not playing.
This situation
Has ruined any hope of
Legalization
Hey! Look at my zool
Not these drug addled douchebags
Ignore smell of shrimp
The twins strike again
Race relations are ruined
For next 50 years!
I can only hope
it’s medical reefer and
they’re on their deathbeds.
Things like this makes folks
Climb to a tall ledge with a
High power rifle!
For some strange reason
This scene gives me a renoB
I need therapy
Mark your calendar
Today is the day hip hop
Officially died
Even Jane Goodall
couldn’t wrap her mind around
this social construct.
Few of us in life
Will experience the taste
Of our brothers cum
The ecstasy twins
Scored a bleeth for a threesome
Need more ecstasy
The Captain’s Haiku
Made me vomit in my pants
Picture makes me weep
So nauseated
I cant take it, sticking my
Finger down my throat
Magical pasties
Hide her perky pink nipples
Can’t hide the douche twins
Looks like the scene in
Se7en where almost-dead guy
tied to bed for years.
Each twin has a sore.
Aids Karposi’s by left eyes?
And she is a sore.
Lesson learned? Never
say “I’ll do anything to
be famous!” Regrets.
Acid reflux and
bile taste in mouth force meto
stop writing haikus.
Somewhere her dad is
Standing on the side of a
Very tall building
Let the douche twins
smoke each other,
I’ll take care of Kandi
The Clit/Hemp combo
Is not enough to rouse twins
Out of drug stupor
She has stopped breathing
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Chronic Hole.
It puts the weed in
It’s pussy or it gets the
Hose. Water bong hose.
Chronic or Hydro
4/20 or Johnny Blaze
I’d fuck her, I says
Generation z
Still loves the happy tunes of
Miss Patty Smith. Son
The Unsubs were found
Sneerfully chewing the last part
Of her Mons Pubis.
After the twins came
In her, she has been rendered
Way unfuckable
Crystal meth groupies
always find lowest common
demonimator
After torturing
Selena Gomez. The twins work
Through lesser known meat.
These two losers even
Fuck with those stupid hats on
I can’t stop puking!
There is a line you
Can’t cross getting your “red wings.”
She’s the thin red line.
Judging from the smell
that weed is laced with failure
and bad decisions.
Circus must be here
How else to explain freakshow?
Dollar gets ya crabs
Pot leaf on her cooch
bondage tape on her nipples
Bad choices ev’rywhere.
Eurobag twins have
key to her heart — and only
key to basement door
“Self Made” hat on ledge
apparently only sold
to the unemployed
even gyroscope
won’t go in her monkey hole
without condom on
Romney’s grandchildren
Throw in towel after Biden
Clinton speeches. Me too.
Let the scrotes fondle
Strung out Katy Perry who’d
Still get a suckle
Wiggas fondle thigh
After puffin dat phat blunt
Bitch be lookin fly
“After you bang me
Leave your hats on this here shelf.
These are from today.”
Everyone glances
At puddle of greasy goo
Ducks floating on it
All look down in shame
Come down from meth, realize
“We’re waste of carbon”
Hooker on the floor
Ping ping balls fired from biznatch
Might be injuries
Electrodes on nips
Fire up generator
All zapped on contact
watching Hannah’s Field
Goss bros. rethink life choices
puff puff give? no thanks
A humidor for
Blunts? OK. Humidor for
a—–CONTROL YOURSELVES.
Legalize it? Well,
if she’s 18, I guess we
have to accept it.
Only her pasties
would be smiling here in The
Land of Misfit Scrotes.
These flaming choads share
their “gorgeouth” pink underwear;
skid marks included.
Everything they wear,
think, speak is branded. Faces
need branding iron.
“I did not inhale.”
Slick Willie speaks truth this time;
used cigar instead.
“A-T-L…..’zat where
we live, brah?” “Don’t know, bro; I
flunked Geometry.”
Six hours later
This still gives me a renoB
Need therapy. Stat.
She gets 90/hour
These guys scraped up five bucks in
nickels and won’t leave
“Make a wish,” ‘Bags said.
Kandi ponders … World peace? Food?
Nah. More drugs, sex, STAT!
Bondage tape on nips
hurts like a bitch when removed
or so I’ve been told
Who let the retard twins out of their cages? Hopefully they remembered to tranq them up so they don’t get too excited or break something. Flat chested Kandi is a little on the rough side. So young to have the too many miles look already. The marijuana decal on her bikini bottom right over her privates hopefully conceals a tight shaven pussy rather than a small underdeveloped, hormone shrunken penis typical of rough looking flat chested trannies.