Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Snuffaluffacrotch
Don’t look now, Aging Vegas Party Girl Gina! But there’s a Snuffaluffacrotch about to nibble on the neck of your nape!
Laugh it up, Sidekick Frank. When female rejection at the pool reaches 100% saturation, your hamburgers are next on the menu.
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Gross on about five levels.
This picture reminds me of the time me, Bill Shatner, Lenny Nemoy, Tom Jones, Julie Newmar and Ann-Margaret were at a coffee shop in Haight-Ashbury and ate these brownies made with cannibis oil. We was trippin balls, but since I only had one brownie – I never did that stuff, really – I was good to go and got skull from both Newmar and Ann as we was sittin on the couch listening to some beatnik reading poetry or some shit.
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There’s noting like gettin skull from a dame wasted on cannibis oil brownies. Nothin, I says.
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My hallucination was like this picture, but with me gettin primo skull.
Whoton Hears a Whore
Pachyderrrrghuuughhh… just puked in my mouth
How The Elephant got it’s Chlamydia
I suddenly remembered my Wittgenstein:
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“A man will be imprisoned in a room with a door that’s unlocked and opens inwards; as long as it does not occur to him to pull rather than push it.”
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From: Vermischte Bemerkungen – Wittgenstein notes collected by Georg Henrik von Wright, 1980 translation by Peter Winch translation as “Culture and Value”, p 42.
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Here I think, by room, Wittgenstein means red-elephant crotch puppet, and by door, he means life choices.
Horton Hatches Hatches a Hemorrhoid
The Saggy Baggy Nutsack
Dear DB1,
I think Vegas is getting a bad rap from this picture. First the background doesn’t look right (a tree….by a pool….in Vegas? No f*cking way!)
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.Secondly, our douches are bigger douches than these slimeballs….and only wave their puppeteer-clad johnsons in front of premium trim….not aging bimbos.
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Thirdly, there aren’t enough tatts and her (fake) melons fall way short of the pool party standards invoked by our eighth grade-educated bouncers who control the admittance to these convocations of choad.
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To summarize, this picture is both too disgusting and not disgusting enough for your “Vegas” tag. I nominate Scottsdale for the win (loss)…and you’ll have to excuse me now as it’s time to hit the Maker’s Mark.
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.Sincerely,
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.CTDS
Babar and the Itchy Crotchy
Both Gina and Snuffaluffacrotch are old enough to know better.
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Frank looks like the sidekick that will never grow up. Like Ed McMahon.
CTDS, my sentiments exactly.
Let me guess… Hubby hit mid life crisis bought the ‘vette, started popping Viagra and a year later the divorce is finalized. H e spends his weekends in Barbados with his secretary. After initially coping by diving head first into a dozen or two Sara Lees and the weekly bitch-fest with your other past their prime friends who would desperately love to be called a “cougar” but are really more like a bobcat with wasting disease. You take your share of the settlement and get a nice condo in Florida, hire a personal trainer named Alejandro that you can’t figure out, despite your hardest efforts at wooing him, won’t stick his chorizo in your well seasoned taco, since you’re oblivious to the fact he fancies East German men. You spend your days sipping drinks made with “Skinny Girl Vodka”, hitting the local tanning parlor and gving the pool boy at your condo the Mayan Eye of I am a Desperate Divorce’ who would love to see an actual penis one more time before I turn to dust. After Alejandro manages to shave the 20 kilos of cheesecake you’ve packed on grieving your former marriage and since your kids are all grown and dealing with the failures and miseries of thier lives you decide to give dating another try. But to step up your game you decide to add a few embelishments to your toolbox of seduction most notably getting a naval ring in what was 30 years ago a normal belly buttion that now looks more like Gandalf the wizards sleeve and shakedown your ex for a couple of G’s to get your melons puffed up down at the local sawbones. And here we find you present day, poolside in Vegas depserately trying to wring the chamois dry and squeeze the last few picograms of estrogen out of your ovaries before your vagina turns to the Gobi desert for real and today is your lucky day because the chance of you getting knocked up at this point is zero point zero and Snuffaluffacrotch is a sure fire bet, it’s a win, win situation and as a bonus you might get a double header from his sidekick Big Turd.
I’m going to guess that’s not the first time party girl Gina has had two guys standing above her crotch-thrusting. She’s gotta a lot of miles on her.
One douchbag, HAHAHA! Two douchebag “HAHAHA” Grandma? HAHAHA
@CJTD, definite win-win going on for these three. Nice decimation proclamation, so win-win for us as well. Bravo Captain.
What is that in Snuffy’s right hand?
Between takes on the set of “Operation Dildo Drop.”
One word – elephantiasis
Later that night a bored Gina watches as Snuffaluffacrotch tries to eat the peanuts out of Sidekick Frank’s shee-it.
Why haven’t the bouncers Babarred these two from poolside yet?
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Yeah I know it was bad but there’s only so many elephant jokes you can make.
So is this what Michael Jackson was hoping for when he bought William Merrick’s skeleton?
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Look it up bitches.
Gina’s ‘gina has seen more traffic than the Holland Tunnel.
Sidekick Frank is gonna be REALLY surprised at his first dockingsession tonight.
This entire thing reeks of Euro… especially the shitty backdrop. Here in the U.S. we use green screens
Dumblow
I’m guessing that even the most desparate poachers of lower eastern inner Uganda wouldn’t touch his ivory with a twenty foot sexually arroused boa constrictor.
Clifford The Big Red Dong
You know you’d tap that GGILF…
This is Mykonos and he’s the resident MC at this establishment… Quite entertaining actually.