Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Snuffaluffacrotch

Don’t look now, Aging Vegas Party Girl Gina! But there’s a Snuffaluffacrotch about to nibble on the neck of your nape!

Laugh it up, Sidekick Frank. When female rejection at the pool reaches 100% saturation, your hamburgers are next on the menu.

# posted by douchebag1
8:17 am September, 25 Blind Squirrel said...

Gross on about five levels.

8:25 am September, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This picture reminds me of the time me, Bill Shatner, Lenny Nemoy, Tom Jones, Julie Newmar and Ann-Margaret were at a coffee shop in Haight-Ashbury and ate these brownies made with cannibis oil. We was trippin balls, but since I only had one brownie – I never did that stuff, really – I was good to go and got skull from both Newmar and Ann as we was sittin on the couch listening to some beatnik reading poetry or some shit.

.

There’s noting like gettin skull from a dame wasted on cannibis oil brownies. Nothin, I says.

.

My hallucination was like this picture, but with me gettin primo skull.

8:33 am September, 25 Mr. ScrotatoHead said...

Whoton Hears a Whore

8:52 am September, 25 jonezy said...

Pachyderrrrghuuughhh… just puked in my mouth

8:53 am September, 25 Jacques Doucheteau said...

How The Elephant got it’s Chlamydia

8:54 am September, 25 Charles Douchewin said...

I suddenly remembered my Wittgenstein:

.

“A man will be imprisoned in a room with a door that’s unlocked and opens inwards; as long as it does not occur to him to pull rather than push it.”

.

From: Vermischte Bemerkungen – Wittgenstein notes collected by Georg Henrik von Wright, 1980 translation by Peter Winch translation as “Culture and Value”, p 42.

.

Here I think, by room, Wittgenstein means red-elephant crotch puppet, and by door, he means life choices.

8:55 am September, 25 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Horton Hatches Hatches a Hemorrhoid

8:56 am September, 25 Jacques Doucheteau said...

The Saggy Baggy Nutsack

8:57 am September, 25 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Dear DB1,

I think Vegas is getting a bad rap from this picture. First the background doesn’t look right (a tree….by a pool….in Vegas? No f*cking way!)

.

.Secondly, our douches are bigger douches than these slimeballs….and only wave their puppeteer-clad johnsons in front of premium trim….not aging bimbos.

.

.

Thirdly, there aren’t enough tatts and her (fake) melons fall way short of the pool party standards invoked by our eighth grade-educated bouncers who control the admittance to these convocations of choad.

.

.

To summarize, this picture is both too disgusting and not disgusting enough for your “Vegas” tag. I nominate Scottsdale for the win (loss)…and you’ll have to excuse me now as it’s time to hit the Maker’s Mark.

.

.

.Sincerely,

.

.CTDS

8:57 am September, 25 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Babar and the Itchy Crotchy

8:59 am September, 25 FoghornLeghorn said...

Both Gina and Snuffaluffacrotch are old enough to know better.

.

Frank looks like the sidekick that will never grow up. Like Ed McMahon.

9:00 am September, 25 Sir Douche said...

CTDS, my sentiments exactly.

9:09 am September, 25 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Let me guess… Hubby hit mid life crisis bought the ‘vette, started popping Viagra and a year later the divorce is finalized. H e spends his weekends in Barbados with his secretary. After initially coping by diving head first into a dozen or two Sara Lees and the weekly bitch-fest with your other past their prime friends who would desperately love to be called a “cougar” but are really more like a bobcat with wasting disease. You take your share of the settlement and get a nice condo in Florida, hire a personal trainer named Alejandro that you can’t figure out, despite your hardest efforts at wooing him, won’t stick his chorizo in your well seasoned taco, since you’re oblivious to the fact he fancies East German men. You spend your days sipping drinks made with “Skinny Girl Vodka”, hitting the local tanning parlor and gving the pool boy at your condo the Mayan Eye of I am a Desperate Divorce’ who would love to see an actual penis one more time before I turn to dust. After Alejandro manages to shave the 20 kilos of cheesecake you’ve packed on grieving your former marriage and since your kids are all grown and dealing with the failures and miseries of thier lives you decide to give dating another try. But to step up your game you decide to add a few embelishments to your toolbox of seduction most notably getting a naval ring in what was 30 years ago a normal belly buttion that now looks more like Gandalf the wizards sleeve and shakedown your ex for a couple of G’s to get your melons puffed up down at the local sawbones. And here we find you present day, poolside in Vegas depserately trying to wring the chamois dry and squeeze the last few picograms of estrogen out of your ovaries before your vagina turns to the Gobi desert for real and today is your lucky day because the chance of you getting knocked up at this point is zero point zero and Snuffaluffacrotch is a sure fire bet, it’s a win, win situation and as a bonus you might get a double header from his sidekick Big Turd.

9:14 am September, 25 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I’m going to guess that’s not the first time party girl Gina has had two guys standing above her crotch-thrusting. She’s gotta a lot of miles on her.

9:16 am September, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

One douchbag, HAHAHA! Two douchebag “HAHAHA” Grandma? HAHAHA

9:17 am September, 25 Anonymous said...

@CJTD, definite win-win going on for these three. Nice decimation proclamation, so win-win for us as well. Bravo Captain.

9:20 am September, 25 Dickie Fingers said...

What is that in Snuffy’s right hand?

9:22 am September, 25 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Between takes on the set of “Operation Dildo Drop.”

9:29 am September, 25 icame isaw idouched said...

One word – elephantiasis

9:33 am September, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Later that night a bored Gina watches as Snuffaluffacrotch tries to eat the peanuts out of Sidekick Frank’s shee-it.

9:44 am September, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Why haven’t the bouncers Babarred these two from poolside yet?

.

Yeah I know it was bad but there’s only so many elephant jokes you can make.

9:46 am September, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So is this what Michael Jackson was hoping for when he bought William Merrick’s skeleton?

.

Look it up bitches.

9:47 am September, 25 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Gina’s ‘gina has seen more traffic than the Holland Tunnel.

9:50 am September, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Sidekick Frank is gonna be REALLY surprised at his first dockingsession tonight.

10:40 am September, 25 Vin Douchal said...

This entire thing reeks of Euro… especially the shitty backdrop. Here in the U.S. we use green screens

11:33 am September, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Dumblow

11:39 am September, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I’m guessing that even the most desparate poachers of lower eastern inner Uganda wouldn’t touch his ivory with a twenty foot sexually arroused boa constrictor.

12:17 pm September, 25 DarkSock said...

Clifford The Big Red Dong

12:20 pm September, 25 DarkSock said...

You know you’d tap that GGILF…

12:05 pm September, 27 elephantitis said...

This is Mykonos and he’s the resident MC at this establishment… Quite entertaining actually.

Leave a Reply

What is 9 + 6 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)