Monday, October 8, 2012
HCwDB of the Week: Tri-Vag Dave and Real World Heather
Last week didn’t really have any spectacularly mockworthy combos.
So we’ll go with Tri-Vag Dave and Real World Heather.
Heather isn’t an inflatahott, nor an ethereal party girl like Sheertina. But she brings real world cuteness. And so holds up the HC side.
Tri-Vag Dave should know better. For that he is infuriating.
Then again, so was Tutu Derek Smalls. And the art project that is Shminky and the Boob.
Monday brings the Monthly. And your humb narrator brings the sugar cereal.
Mmmm… Trader Joes discount Frosted Flakes…
I’d like to throttle bang Sheertina’s boob and cockhole. Until then I sleep off rum and gravy shooters.
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Gobblers
Sheertina, who may or may not be a Champagne sister, deserves the win. And by win, I mean oral gratification.
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Tongue porn
I could bang Sheetina from behind, and shoot my gene stream over her head, off the bathroom mirror, and back into her succulent, wide open mouth.
This one slipped by me at first, I didn’t really notice how horrible this guy was the first time around. His facial fung seems to be an extension of the meandering print of his t-shirt in a life-imitating-art symbiosis of suck.
Also: John Largeman’s denim vest for the win.
These two fill me ennui to the point that I can not muster up a mock. Even his poorly executed chin strap facial hair gig can’t get me worked up enough to whip up a pithy slap down. And her ordinariness is extraordinary to the point where she is renoB neutral. That’s renoB neutral, I says.
Bleeth in “Schminky and the Boob” picture looks like she is a member of the mantis family.
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This is the most poorly executed chinstrap beard I’ve ever seen! It’s poor even by douchebag standards, it looks like a trannies g-string landed on his face!
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I want to blow a rasperberry on Sheertinas mud whistle!
I like em both. Nice smiles
Now Tutu Derek Smalls is an inspiring douchebag. And by inspiring douchebag I mean the Schmegma Twins cause me to masterbate wildly and without regard for getting caught in the act by Mrs. Wallnuts. And by caught in the act I mean I put my schwantz into a ripe Casaba melon and rock to and fro until my ejaculate comes a callin’.
@ DW same kinda deal here. I got smashed on Herradura silver tequila friday night celebrating Capt Sr’s safe return home from the hospital after having a procedure done on his ticker. Glad the old codger made it! So in a south of the border deleirum I realized I hadn’t cleaned my gene pool in a few days and pulled up the schmeg twins and beat my cock like it owed me money but couldn’t quite get myself there with that pink nightmare staring at me, even with a post-it note over the screen so I fucked my bed pillow instead, I was so riled up I passed out on my own goop and woke up trembling, nauseated and my head pounding with my chest hair all matted and crusty. But I guess its ok since it was my own stuff, but I still need to wash the pillow, looks like a lace doily my grandmother use to knit spackled on it.
Heather’s dad is hoping that Nationwide Insurance can help him vanish Tri-Vag Dave: http://youtu.be/aEPeJhGG3E0
I still can’t tell whether he shaped his hair into a pyramidal shape or whether that’s just the contour of the ceiling behind him. If he didn’t have such douchey facial hair, I’d definitely say ceiling. Now I’m confused and agitated.
I’m not sure that’s a Champange sister–I think that may be Katie herself. Less makeup, different hair, but I am pretty sure it’s her.
I applaud this douchebag. From the photo we can see that Tri-Vag Dave gets up every morning and fights his inner demons of douchebaggery. Sometimes he wins, sometimes he loses – like today. And while some head down the road of Peter Pumpinhead and the Mecha Hineyho, Tri-Vag just tries to satisfy poor Real World Heather and pay off his trailer. His struggle is our struggle.