Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Peter Pumpinhead Inflates to Biblical Proportions
Speaking of epic douchery…
Sadly, Peter’s pupae state, back before hyper-cartoonishness had set in, is but a distant trifling echo.
Mary Mammageddon would like to smile. But her face might crack.
Crack, I says.
Muskrats.
Mary Mammageddon has 22nd century Chest Artillery, and cyborgic A.I. mechanical physiology.
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Cyborgic I says.
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Van Dammes.
Those are the stairs to the fertility clinic
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Spermatozoaians
Ah, to be young, carefree and dancing in your boxer briefs with poochy but still delectable woo hotts… now he has the agility and range of motion of a rusted out dump truck with it’s tires missing.
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Mamms is still a wonder of modern cosmetic surgery. If I knew I could be turned into such a hott, I might get the surgery just so I could sext naked pics of myself to myself.
I think they can get legally married after yesterday. And the little sesame seed that has been stuck in my diverticuli since the day Reagan got shot expunged itself last night as I shed a salty fuccen tear for Mitt’s hot wife with the MS and shit. Son.
Pumpinhead’s got it all figured out really. Once his peen completely disappears into his body he can always use Mary’s.
Which I believe is being kept on ice in a red igloo cooler somewhere in Tampa. If you find it there’s a $10 reward for it’s return.
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The cooler that is. You can keep the penis.
Oh, to live a live lifting things and then putting them down…
Pumpkin does get a big glittery gold star for being open minded. And another smaller one for avoiding roid rage face.
“Selfish & Disrespectful”. Who’d a thunk?
Marlin Perkins surreptitiously winds down the window of the last van as it passes by the Pumpinheads trailer in the hopes that he can bag the last known specimen Ignoramus Neanderthalus with his .30-06 to complete his collection.
Oh to live a world of condos, cheap motels, hotel pool bars, anabolic agents and deformative plastic surgery.
I think you’re going to need something bigger than that to bag Pumpinhead, like a fuggin’ elephant gun or artilliary shells. “Back home we got a taxidermy man. He gonna have a heart attack when he see what I brung him.”
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Quints
^ Capt. James T.,
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I think we’re gonna need a bigger boob.
The evidence, to date, suggests she is evolving to become this.
I will give Mary this much; she is classic bleeth bim goodness personified. Despite her body dysmorphic syndrome, her body is a temple or something…And she is bizarrely attractive. She knows things. Ya mean? What she must do with those nails….
No,those are stairs to his place with the dirty ass door. And it locks on the outside.
Damned Harkonnens.
What a look of disappointment must spread across a woman’s face when she see Pump drop his pants and his manhood is so disproportionately small compared to his biceps. Must look like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6GRtNe6UsY&feature=related
Pumpin head speans so much on protein shakes and roids he has to live in a dumspter apartment.