Friday, November 9, 2012

Friday Haiku

When Jill groomed her vaj
Todd knew just what to do with
All of the clippings

Mr Chia Head
Scores well above his pay grade
His pubes will kill deal

He has a Dick Nest
To match the hair on his head
A Dick Nest, I says

He’s the centerfold
In Head Lice Illustrated
magazine, this month

– DoucheyWallnuts, on fuccen fire. Fire, I says.

In rememberance
of 1970s porn
moment of silence

– Capt. James T. Douche

A Jew fro flashback
Reminds me of young Starskey
Her Hutch smells of shame.

– Et Tu Douche?

I knew Juan Epstein
This douche has the hair but he
Is no Juan Epstein

– Ich verstehe sie ist heiß

He hasn’t shampooed
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole

– Sick Rev Chad. Son.

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# posted by DarkSock
Links n' stuff:
7:14 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This picture was shot
Just before the lightening hit.
Ignored warning. Dead

7:15 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Keratin treatment
No match for humidity
Coming from bleeth’s crotch

7:17 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The “White Guy Afro”
Worse look than “Blonde Black Chick” or
Red-headed Asian

7:17 am November, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

His Jewfro matches
Her popcorn bush, newlyweds
Vegas honeymoon!

7:19 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Mr Chia Head
Scores well above his pay grade
His pubes will kill deal

7:20 am November, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

In rememberance
of 1970s porn
moment of silence

7:20 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

He has a Dick Nest
To match the hair on his head
A Dick Nest, I says

7:27 am November, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Bob Ross Jr tries
Happy little tree routine
Ends up with cumfro.

7:29 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

When he’s in the pool
His bathing cap is so big
She can bathe in it

7:31 am November, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

One day he’ll donate
It all to cancer patients
New pubes for the sick

7:32 am November, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Holy hell! Has that
thing had all the proper shots?
Check it for rabies!!

7:33 am November, 9 saulgoode42 said...

Jill writes her thesis
On men who will live alone
Todd is not aware

7:35 am November, 9 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Todd’s bad idea was
huge hair spectacle to hide
his tiny penis

Sadly Tood’s plan failed
when hair growth went to his head
tiny penis still shows

7:36 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Creatures live in there
A Human Head Habitat
Lions, Tigers, Bears…

7:38 am November, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

When he strips down it
Looks like a cocktail weiner
In a spinach patch

7:40 am November, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

It would be pretty
Cool to see it go up in
Flames MJ style.

7:41 am November, 9 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Hair Replacement Fail
Donor Site Pubes leave Todd with
Crappy Fro bald crotch

7:42 am November, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

Laughing My Ass Off
Is no way to go through life
I’d hit her monkey hole

7:42 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This is what happens
When Rogaine and Viagra
Mix. Hairapism

7:43 am November, 9 Douche Wayne said...

I don’t think that this
picture was taken at a
costume party. Son.

7:45 am November, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

A jew fro flashback
Reminds me of young starsky
Her hutch smells of shame.

7:47 am November, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

Jew fro reminds me
bathroom floor needs a scrubbing
must get some lysol™

7:47 am November, 9 Douche Wayne said...

One-way plane ticket
from Park Slope to Las Vegas:
Todd’s soul covered cost.

7:49 am November, 9 FoghornLeghorn said...

Jill’s body language
suggests she’ll keep her distance,
’til the roofies work.

7:56 am November, 9 Douche Wayne said...

Fans would not accept
Todd as Beasties’ replacement
for late MCA.

7:57 am November, 9 The Dude said...

A reverse mowhawk
Would look real good on this guy
I’ll get my razor.

8:38 am November, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

They won’t be laughing
so much when that Brillo pad
scours down Vegas strip.

8:42 am November, 9 Douche Springsteen said...

let Artie Ziff be
a minor Simpsons player
not a style icon

8:43 am November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

It is Dr. J,
Jewfrow, that is. 5-foot-6,
6-5 with the fro

8:43 am November, 9 Douche Springsteen said...

Jill is out of there
as soon as the coke is gone
Todd weeps flaccid tears

8:45 am November, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Since when did Hasbro
make a Play-Doh barber shop
for real live douches?

8:46 am November, 9 Douche Springsteen said...

also, Jill for HoH? anyone? I think she’s radiant.

8:49 am November, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Todd has been declared
a wild bird sanctuary
since the new Jewfro.

8:54 am November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Irono-hipsters:
The Zombies will eat them first
after I trip them

8:55 am November, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

No one suspects Todd
as drug mule. Border patrol
won’t search that rat’s nest.

8:58 am November, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Where did I leave my
phone?” asks Jill. Todd shakes head like
dog to no avail.

8:59 am November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Douche Springsteen
I can’t get behind any HoH nom without seeing more of the bod… plus we got enough 7′s in there as it is.

9:01 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This Orthodox Jew
Blows-out and teases his payos
When he goes clubbing

9:01 am November, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Don’t sit behind Todd
at movies unless you brought
machete from home.

9:03 am November, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Todd and Jill go out
to celebrate his “Best in
Show” for the toy group.

9:04 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I second McCrude.

9:10 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Where Are They Now,” finds
Shaggy from Scooby Doo is
A human Q-tip

9:18 am November, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Irono glasses
Out there hair looks like
SoCal soccer coach

9:18 am November, 9 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

I knew Juan Epstein
This douche has the hair but he
Is no Juan Epstein

9:20 am November, 9 Vin Douchal said...

The perfect couple
Her carpet matches his drapes
Sparks during oral

9:20 am November, 9 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Curly bush looks great
In retro Demi Moore porn
On hipster head? No!

9:23 am November, 9 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Listen close and hear
Angela Davis, crying
Salty fuccen tears

9:24 am November, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Moishe takes a break
From Rabbinical studies
At Silver Lake Schul

9:28 am November, 9 Bag Margera said...

After the Hunger Games
Katniss celebrates with a
5 cent gigolo.

9:28 am November, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Gnarly unchecked hair
Side effect of too much use
Cialas, caffeine

9:33 am November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Art Carbuncle knows
He’s shyte without Paul Simon
Learn guitar dammit!
.
http://mightylists.blogspot.com/2009/07/15-white-guys-with-awesome-afros.html

9:35 am November, 9 Bag Margera said...

She is pretty hot,
with the exception of her
hairy left booby.

9:40 am November, 9 Bag Margera said...

He has no chest hair,
but still needs to button shirt
up over his head.

9:41 am November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

He don’t look like much
But she likes to fro-squat and
tickle the nethers

9:52 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

He’s the centerfold
In Head Lice Illustrated
magazine, this month

9:53 am November, 9 Sick Rev Chad said...

He hasn’t shampooed
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole

9:57 am November, 9 Douche Springsteen said...

@McCrudeshoes

Good point. She does have a pretty face. Assuming she’s a solid C cup and has a good pear, I’d say it’s worth a consideration.

10:04 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

In a perfect world
The authorities would make
Him cut his hair off

10:04 am November, 9 Sick Rev Chad said...

Youse guys got to check
Out Lucky Punkass, DB1
Has issues with white Christians.

10:08 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The smell of his fro
Has put this girl in a daze
Doesn’t need Roofies

10:18 am November, 9 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

True equality
Endangers the elite, hence –
Divide and conquer

10:19 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

When Debt Bomb explodes
“New America” will be
Like the “Old Russia”
.
16 Trill in debt
Will make the poor much poorer
Dumb liberal fucks

10:21 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The only thing
That grows out from the middle
Is Plinky’s fat Mom

10:30 am November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

New America
Is no mystery, will be
exactly like Greece

Kinda sad when not only is the writing on the wall, but it gives away the ending and still no one pays attention.

10:46 am November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Washington State Douche
Celebrates real victory:
long live Mary Jane!

11:29 am November, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

The Rev hungover
too much homegrown kind buds
Missed the monkeyhole.

11:47 am November, 9 DarkSock said...

Meetings all day, Son
Winners picked after work, Son.
Much like my nose. Son.

11:53 am November, 9 Anonymous said...

MC Serch dropped weight
dropped rhymes, science and knowledge
grew his high top fade

12:03 pm November, 9 Reverencd Chad Supreme Buzz said...

Not hungover Et
Tu, biannual quinzy, George
Washington died from it, Fuck that’s not a Haiku. Going to get antibiotics in a few. Go Obama!

4:45 pm November, 9 FoghornLeghorn said...

What’s with their glasses?
Everything’s gotta match?
She’s stopped trimming, too?

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