Friday, November 9, 2012

Friday Haiku

When Jill groomed her vaj

Todd knew just what to do with

All of the clippings

Mr Chia Head

Scores well above his pay grade

His pubes will kill deal

He has a Dick Nest

To match the hair on his head

A Dick Nest, I says

He’s the centerfold

In Head Lice Illustrated

magazine, this month

– DoucheyWallnuts, on fuccen fire. Fire, I says.

In rememberance

of 1970s porn

moment of silence

– Capt. James T. Douche

A Jew fro flashback

Reminds me of young Starskey

Her Hutch smells of shame.

– Et Tu Douche?

I knew Juan Epstein

This douche has the hair but he

Is no Juan Epstein

– Ich verstehe sie ist heiß

He hasn’t shampooed

Since the gyroscope was put

In her Monkey Hole

– Sick Rev Chad. Son.

# posted by Bagnonymous
7:14 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This picture was shot

Just before the lightening hit.

Ignored warning. Dead

7:15 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Keratin treatment

No match for humidity

Coming from bleeth’s crotch

7:17 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The “White Guy Afro”

Worse look than “Blonde Black Chick” or

Red-headed Asian

7:17 am November, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

His Jewfro matches

Her popcorn bush, newlyweds

Vegas honeymoon!

7:19 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Mr Chia Head

Scores well above his pay grade

His pubes will kill deal

7:20 am November, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

In rememberance

of 1970s porn

moment of silence

7:20 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

He has a Dick Nest

To match the hair on his head

A Dick Nest, I says

7:27 am November, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Bob Ross Jr tries

Happy little tree routine

Ends up with cumfro.

7:29 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

When he’s in the pool

His bathing cap is so big

She can bathe in it

7:31 am November, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

One day he’ll donate

It all to cancer patients

New pubes for the sick

7:32 am November, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Holy hell! Has that

thing had all the proper shots?

Check it for rabies!!

7:33 am November, 9 saulgoode42 said...

Jill writes her thesis

On men who will live alone

Todd is not aware

7:35 am November, 9 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Todd’s bad idea was

huge hair spectacle to hide

his tiny penis

Sadly Tood’s plan failed

when hair growth went to his head

tiny penis still shows

7:36 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Creatures live in there

A Human Head Habitat

Lions, Tigers, Bears…

7:38 am November, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

When he strips down it

Looks like a cocktail weiner

In a spinach patch

7:40 am November, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

It would be pretty

Cool to see it go up in

Flames MJ style.

7:41 am November, 9 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Hair Replacement Fail

Donor Site Pubes leave Todd with

Crappy Fro bald crotch

7:42 am November, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

Laughing My Ass Off

Is no way to go through life

I’d hit her monkey hole

7:42 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This is what happens

When Rogaine and Viagra

Mix. Hairapism

7:43 am November, 9 Douche Wayne said...

I don’t think that this

picture was taken at a

costume party. Son.

7:45 am November, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

A jew fro flashback

Reminds me of young starsky

Her hutch smells of shame.

7:47 am November, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

Jew fro reminds me

bathroom floor needs a scrubbing

must get some lysol™

7:47 am November, 9 Douche Wayne said...

One-way plane ticket

from Park Slope to Las Vegas:

Todd’s soul covered cost.

7:49 am November, 9 FoghornLeghorn said...

Jill’s body language

suggests she’ll keep her distance,

’til the roofies work.

7:56 am November, 9 Douche Wayne said...

Fans would not accept

Todd as Beasties’ replacement

for late MCA.

7:57 am November, 9 The Dude said...

A reverse mowhawk

Would look real good on this guy

I’ll get my razor.

8:38 am November, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

They won’t be laughing

so much when that Brillo pad

scours down Vegas strip.

8:42 am November, 9 Douche Springsteen said...

let Artie Ziff be

a minor Simpsons player

not a style icon

8:43 am November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

It is Dr. J,

Jewfrow, that is. 5-foot-6,

6-5 with the fro

8:43 am November, 9 Douche Springsteen said...

Jill is out of there

as soon as the coke is gone

Todd weeps flaccid tears

8:45 am November, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Since when did Hasbro

make a Play-Doh barber shop

for real live douches?

8:46 am November, 9 Douche Springsteen said...

also, Jill for HoH? anyone? I think she’s radiant.

8:49 am November, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Todd has been declared

a wild bird sanctuary

since the new Jewfro.

8:54 am November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Irono-hipsters:

The Zombies will eat them first

after I trip them

8:55 am November, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

No one suspects Todd

as drug mule. Border patrol

won’t search that rat’s nest.

8:58 am November, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Where did I leave my

phone?” asks Jill. Todd shakes head like

dog to no avail.

8:59 am November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Douche Springsteen

I can’t get behind any HoH nom without seeing more of the bod… plus we got enough 7’s in there as it is.

9:01 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This Orthodox Jew

Blows-out and teases his payos

When he goes clubbing

9:01 am November, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Don’t sit behind Todd

at movies unless you brought

machete from home.

9:03 am November, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Todd and Jill go out

to celebrate his “Best in

Show” for the toy group.

9:04 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I second McCrude.

9:10 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Where Are They Now,” finds

Shaggy from Scooby Doo is

A human Q-tip

9:18 am November, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Irono glasses

Out there hair looks like

SoCal soccer coach

9:18 am November, 9 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

I knew Juan Epstein

This douche has the hair but he

Is no Juan Epstein

9:20 am November, 9 Vin Douchal said...

The perfect couple

Her carpet matches his drapes

Sparks during oral

9:20 am November, 9 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Curly bush looks great

In retro Demi Moore porn

On hipster head? No!

9:23 am November, 9 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Listen close and hear

Angela Davis, crying

Salty fuccen tears

9:24 am November, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Moishe takes a break

From Rabbinical studies

At Silver Lake Schul

9:28 am November, 9 Bag Margera said...

After the Hunger Games

Katniss celebrates with a

5 cent gigolo.

9:28 am November, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Gnarly unchecked hair

Side effect of too much use

Cialas, caffeine

9:33 am November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Art Carbuncle knows

He’s shyte without Paul Simon

Learn guitar dammit!

.

http://mightylists.blogspot.com/2009/07/15-white-guys-with-awesome-afros.html

9:35 am November, 9 Bag Margera said...

She is pretty hot,

with the exception of her

hairy left booby.

9:40 am November, 9 Bag Margera said...

He has no chest hair,

but still needs to button shirt

up over his head.

9:41 am November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

He don’t look like much

But she likes to fro-squat and

tickle the nethers

9:52 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

He’s the centerfold

In Head Lice Illustrated

magazine, this month

9:53 am November, 9 Sick Rev Chad said...

He hasn’t shampooed

Since the gyroscope was put

In her Monkey Hole

9:57 am November, 9 Douche Springsteen said...

@McCrudeshoes

Good point. She does have a pretty face. Assuming she’s a solid C cup and has a good pear, I’d say it’s worth a consideration.

10:04 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

In a perfect world

The authorities would make

Him cut his hair off

10:04 am November, 9 Sick Rev Chad said...

Youse guys got to check

Out Lucky Punkass, DB1

Has issues with white Christians.

10:08 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The smell of his fro

Has put this girl in a daze

Doesn’t need Roofies

10:18 am November, 9 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

True equality

Endangers the elite, hence —

Divide and conquer

10:19 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

When Debt Bomb explodes

“New America” will be

Like the “Old Russia”

.

16 Trill in debt

Will make the poor much poorer

Dumb liberal fucks

10:21 am November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The only thing

That grows out from the middle

Is Plinky’s fat Mom

10:30 am November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

New America

Is no mystery, will be

exactly like Greece

Kinda sad when not only is the writing on the wall, but it gives away the ending and still no one pays attention.

10:46 am November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Washington State Douche

Celebrates real victory:

long live Mary Jane!

11:29 am November, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

The Rev hungover

too much homegrown kind buds

Missed the monkeyhole.

11:47 am November, 9 DarkSock said...

Meetings all day, Son
Winners picked after work, Son.
Much like my nose. Son.

11:53 am November, 9 Anonymous said...

MC Serch dropped weight

dropped rhymes, science and knowledge

grew his high top fade

12:03 pm November, 9 Reverencd Chad Supreme Buzz said...

Not hungover Et

Tu, biannual quinzy, George

Washington died from it, Fuck that’s not a Haiku. Going to get antibiotics in a few. Go Obama!

4:45 pm November, 9 FoghornLeghorn said...

What’s with their glasses?

Everything’s gotta match?

She’s stopped trimming, too?

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