Friday Haiku
Gabe smiles, because soon
They’re knocking him out with their
American Thighs…
Old School Seventies
Gary’s Head is not Hairiest
Thing in the Picture
— Flounder
Inhibitions drop
As do standards for sex romp
One time at band camp
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
One piece bathing suits
Needed to hide huge bushes
Thank god for waxing
~~~~~
This picture is bad
Imagine what porn looked like
When photo was taken
~~~~~
Thick legged women
And guys with fros ruled the day
And people got laid
— DoucheyWallnuts
Before the term douche
was coined, bad decisions were
basic and hairy.
~~~~~
His belly is what
flesh-lights are made of. Keep that
in mind when you fap.
— Bag Margera
It hides the stash
In the fro or it gets the
Hose. The groovy hose.
~~~~~
They don’t get the crabs
Since the herbicide was sprayed
On her Monkey Hole.
~~~~~
Next frightening hair
Style after Farrah will be the
Dorothy Hamill.
— The (very) Reverend Chad Kroeger, Esq., Son
High score on Dig-Dug
Banged Orange Julius girls
Peaked in eighty-two
~~~~~
Juan’s weenus peeks out
From his epic Jungle Bush
Like a moray eel
— Ich verstehe sie ist heiß
DB1′s dad at
Camp Hayyawannafuckme
brings back memories.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
This was taken back
When it was still hip to say
“Lets make whoopie, babe!”
— Capt. James T. Douche
This is old school stuff
Both of those chicks are sporting
Diaphragms, no doubt
This is horrible,
The bulging moose knuckle is
Staring right at us!
This was taken back
When it was still hip to say
“Lets make whoopie babe!”
Before the term douche
was coined, bad decisions were
basic and hairy.
One piece bathing suits
Needed to hide huge bushes
Thank god for waxing
Young Rev Chad spring break
Trying to work double play
Many moons ago
Memory lane brings
Us back to a commerical
For Massengil douche!
The Thompson sisters
discover a new species
of pale jellyfish.
This picture is bad
Imagine what porn looked like
When photo was taken
Ladies, Ladies,….Please…
I am NOT from Havana
Oh, and You’re Welcome
FBI Witness
Program is very advanced
This guy’s really black
After the divorce,
Jane found this old photo and
found strength to move on.
Another friday
Of Jewfros and popcorn bush
’79 rocked!
Welcome Back Kotter
Is the inspiration for
This fuccen douchebag
Hey, even remnant
Carpet salesman gotta cut
Loose once in a while.
When Gene Shalit was
young, he was able to mack
tonks, with puns alone.
They have each earned one
Complimentary mustache
Ride thanks to Morty!
Inhibitions drop
As do standards for sex romp
One time at band camp
lakeside recklessness
Disco Stu don’t advertise
still pulls vintage tail
Something something thing
something something something thing
Welcome Back, Kotter
Howard Stern tells of
His Summer Camp Sex Hijinks
Is This Photo Proof?
They can’t seem to take
their hands off of Schnitzler’s milk
white office body.
1981
hotts rub the buddha belly
make the jew fro grow.
2012
They left us to soon
Horshack and Epstein Tribute
Gabe Kaplan gets poon
Thick legged women
And guys with fros ruled the day
And people got laid
Unfortunately
Bath salts won’t be around for
30 some odd years…
Still this will be one
Hell of a snuff film when its
Filmed and site cleaned up!
Wierd Al sittin’ on
The dock of the bay. The day
the muffintops died.
Everyone got laid
In the 1970s
Even this Fro-bag
Grey overcast means
Myron can leave camp, and pitch
a tent with tanned twins.
Didn’t need bath salts
In the 1970s
We had real drugs then
Qualuudes made bath salts
Look like Morton Table salt
God I miss those pills
What sort of goodies
Did the Chairman like to toot
Up or smoke I says??
Weird Al scores two hotts;
Accordionists rejoice
that there is still hope
Old School Seventies
Gary’s Head is not Hairiest
Thing in the Picture
Experimental
breeding. Mix Air Supply guy
with a dash of Oates
Uncle George wants you
to know how much easier
life was in his day.
What’s hairier? ‘Fro,
mustache, or their unkempt bush?
It’s 70s. Bush.
Girls Giggle and
Say, “My you are so skinny”
“Jazzercise” he says.
The only part of
him they can touch. Hairy parts
will drag them to swamp.
Ginger and Mary Anne
Bush Hair Unite Into Man
Lives to paint Happy Trees
It hides the stash
In the fro or it gets the
Hose. The groovy hose.
Picture taken on
Polaroid Bushomatic
I see short curlies.
In the seventies
Oral sex came with toothpicks
And gonorrhea.
One time, at scout camp
I shoved the pack leaders cock
Up my man pussy.
The funny thing with
Ludes is that pictures like this
Happened oftenly.
In the seventies
You had to search for hours to
Find a chicks wet hole.
Returning to the
Poo Lagoon, this guy Dirty
Sanchez’d his whole head.
In the seventies
Sex got you shag rug burn and
Shag crotch burn. Junior.
“Friday the 13th”
inspired by this scene of
Summer camp horror
My mom used to sniff
My fingers for doobies. And
Floss teeth for loose bush.
In the seventies the
Cure for zits was Clearasil
And a good bush scrub.
The P90X
Was invented by the stoned
Spawn of this threesome.
Back in these days your
Parents shreiked ” I found this Cheap
Trick album Mister!”
A pastoral time
Before the evil geniuses
Create BMX.
These three are gonna
Get dirty and tape home porn
With giant camera.
Day at tke lake brought
To you buy the AMC
Pacer with 8-track.
High score on Dig-Dug
Banged Orange Julius girls
Peaked in eighty-two
Labor dispute roils,
Hostess closed, no more Ho-Hos,
DB1 bereft.
Boss wasn’t kidding
he really is out of pics
hits family album
They don’t get the crabs
Since the herbicide was sprayed
On her Monkey Hole.
Morty never got
Any trim until he found
A top notch weed man
First kid on block with
Pong. Herschel’s been getting some
Tail since Nixon.
Juan’s weenus peeks out
From his epic Jungle Bush
Like a moray eel
Upstate swim chicks are
Fooled by disguise. This guy ain’t
No Mark Spitz. Mark Schlitz?
DB1’s dad at
Camp Hayyawannafuckme
brings back memories.
Next frightening hair
Style after Farrah will be the
Dorothy Hamill.
His belly is what
fleshlights are made of. Keep that
in mind when you fap.
Kids only concern
Is that their day goes over
A Fiscal Spliff.
When they hit eighties
Warm afternoons will be with
Mom’s new Betamax.