Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Andrew Douche Clay Hugs the Curves
Hickory Dickory Dock,
His hair’s the shape of a block.
The clock struck two,
Don’t know about you,
But her boots I’d love to knock.
The gauntlet has been thrown. I declare this to be Limerick Tuesday. If you think you can lower the bar more than me then click on the comments link and have at. Son.
Perhaps there is a douche / nottadouche subtext here as well? I must admit…With this PompaDouche here, I can’t decide whether I want to mock him or drink beer with him.
Or both.
And kudos to his brazen fondle of Kim Stackley’s perfect pelvic pooch, for she is verily stacked like a brick shithouse**.
**That’s high praise for a nice figure down here in the South. Don’t know how they say it in Canada. Hosers.
A douche with ridiculous hair
Thinks a pussy is located “there”
‘Cause he’s into bums
Fires dust when he cums
His tired act is full of hot air
Fondle Mizz Muffet,
her mouth, yeah I’ll stuff it
full of throat yogurt, but hey!
Along came her roommate
and offered her poon, mate
but not to me; to Mizz Muffet: she’s gay.
funny man was once this Dice Clay
like a mangy dog he has had his day
if he gives hott a tumble
with a mighty rumble
in her face he’ll cut loose his man spray
A twirp, he’s no chest hair shaver
And a cigarette scented flavor saver
A tentative pose
With the high class ‘Ho’s
A high “C” his ass cheeks do quaver
long ago I had learned from this Dice
hotts like this are not all sugar & spice
if their crotch has a funk
& is dripping with spunk
then her cootch is likely ridden with lice
.
.
.
heheh, thanks for the platform DS!
Dice Clay ruled the comics of his time
busting out filthy stories & rhyme
then he took man juice
in his man caboose
now he sells wrinkly ass for a dime
some would sa that Kim is quite fine
others may add that she is divine
if she stripped down that pear
& stuck it up in the air
I’d bore it out like it was a gold mine
once again I say Kim is quite pretty
possessing ample amount of titty
should she lactate
she could satiate
occupants of a small city!
There once was a man from Belize
girls’ tits he would fondle and squeeze
one in each of his hands,
he ran out of cans, and said
“I wish these things came in three’s!”
There once was a douche from Hoboken,
who got plenty of ladies, no jokin’
but when he hung with the guys
he’d grab all their thighs;
He had much more fun when pole-smokin.
There once was a boy Manti T’eo
Who refused to admit he was gayo.
He started a hoax
Which ended with jokes.
Manti sure to never once get layoed.
The total hott known as Kim Stackley
Was prone to receiving it backly
When Andrew Dice Clay
Told her he is gay
So now she just goes for Whack-ly
.
Yeah, I got nuthin’
.
Sufferin’ suckotashes
There once was a mod named Dark Sock
Who was quick and well-learned in mock.
He looks like a mouse
And denotes “brick shithouse”
He can suck my Canadian cock.
Douche Wayne at 1256pm FTW. Got the cadence down and everything.
There once was a fella’ named Cletus
Who said, “Babe, nature will not defeat us.”
He reached into the skank,
With a powerful yank,
And pulled out her still hissing fetus.
I met a young Stackley named Kim
Who possessed a delightful quim
In the shadows of breasts
That make you forget
To look for the landing strip shim
A “hypmotist” new at the craft
Could not tell his fore from his aft
He tickled her thistle
Then gave out a whistle
From his Olestra oozing ass shaft
There once was a comic from New Jersey
whose cock was so small he couldnt see it.
He said with savoir-faire
as he wiped his flavor savor
Zebra hot, if I could find your cunt
I’d fuck it. Ohhh.
By the way, I dont think he is fondling her. I think he is too old and drunk to stand and she is supporting him. He has also shit his pants. That is why he is standing with his legs apart.
A doo wopper slash douchebagger
Thinks he possesses mad swagger
But she’s on to his schtick
And wee mouse-sized dick
While I air guitar to “Dolly Dagger“
There once was a Bleeth from Alsace
Who liked to sit on guys’ face
She had a fine Quim
Of which this douche made Din-Din
And when she came it was like a spray of Mace
Andrew Dice Douche reached for her snatch
Expected to find hair like his Soul Patch
When his hand hit her place
Unlike the hair on his face
The follicle density did not match
Hott Blondie Bleeth isn’t fazed
As she looks at this Douche slightly amazed
He sports Chops of Mutton
And undoes his button
She’s fuckin crazy, I says
The Boss is out walking about;
his reasons ’til now were in doubt.
But by this report
it seems he’s in court,
so how long until he gets out?
One wouldn’t have to be a great wiz
But more to be in the oil drilling biz
Her bounty of flesh I would reap
In that vag my dick sink so deep
Would require an offshore rig to extract my jiz
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I got stoned, drunk, and weary
.
Over many a quaint and voluptuous whore
.
While I nodded gently napping, suddenly there came a fapping.
.
As of someone gently fapping, flapping at my door.
.
Grooving into Evermore. Stoned Son.
.
I’d like to throttle bang Leeane Rhyme’s lisp.
Kim Stackley is out on the town
On the arm of a total ass clown
But don’t worry for she
Will not let him pee
In her butt, first she’ll kick him down
.
There
there once was a joker named clay
who douched up the world for his pay
He wasn’t very funny
he did it all for the money
and he’s a forgotten has been today.
Troy wins. I said so.
I fucked her! Actually I really did lol!
The Dice man loved the Nursery Rhymes:
Little Boy Blue,
Didnt know what to do,
With no style of his own,
Grabbed some grease and a comb
And A-Yo a Fonzy Hair-do
Douche Dice-man sat on a wall,
Douche Dice-man had a great fall,
All the Jersey rejects, and the Jersey shore fans
Couldnt make Johnny ever cool again.
Hickory Dickory Dock,
Her lips are on my cock,
Just it all slide, and swallow my pride,
and dont ruin it after with talk
Douche-man took kim out to the club,
to fetch her shots of tequila,
What the Douche man didnt know,
Was this Kim was no Ho,
and his dreams crumbled right after,
And so the bill was paid,
even without getting laid,
And he promised to try harder thereafter,
Douche-man went to bed,
and then slapped his forehead,
While crying out with laughter,
How could i be so goofy,
Next time ill just use a roofy,
But that story is in the next chapter.