Monday, February 11, 2013

Mr. Vomitorious Rebuts Our Collective Jest

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K.V. himself responded in last week’s comments thread with the following:

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If you can’t handle me when I’m bulking then you sure as hell don’t deserve me when I’m shredded 😉 and its “Calvin bangin” not “kv” google me

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In a noteworthy coincedence, when my colon is bulking I eat shredded wheat.

EDIT: K.V. is on the Facebook.

# posted by douchebag1
11:27 am February, 11 Dickie Fingers said...

Calvin bagin Vomitorious is too long. He certainly is bulking in that photo.

11:38 am February, 11 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

If “Calvin Bangin” doesn’t sound like a gay porn name, don’t know what does. How did this tool not win Douchebag of the Year, can somebody please tell me ?

12:07 pm February, 11 Capt. James T. Douche said...

This was taken after a hard night of tadpole chuggin’!

12:13 pm February, 11 Dickie Fingers said...

Running the club includes a lot of responsibilities. The night this picture was shot he ran the club’s glory hole.

12:27 pm February, 11 Sir Douche said...

Glad that cigarette wasn’t lit.

12:31 pm February, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Kudos to KV for taking it all in stride…so lets make it CV; Calvin Vomitorius.

12:36 pm February, 11 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Hey! KV just a curiosity here how much semen can you ingest before you vomit? You look pretty swollen in the belly here, like starving African kid swollen, thats alotta goop to take in but looks like you did it like a champ!

12:52 pm February, 11 Misty Axe said...

KV is bushed after snorting load of cum with that straw

12:54 pm February, 11 Wheezer said...

Maybe he just bangs dudes in their Calvins and drinks…..nothing comes between him and his Calvins.

12:56 pm February, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I used to not have to have an instant shit from the baby shit they cut the coke with. I also had terrible munchies after a few snorts. It looks like KV is a less fit, coked-out younger version of me. But I was never a cokehead club kid with a DevilBank card with a $500 limit at 29.99%. Son.

1:02 pm February, 11 hermit said...

Nice rack

1:14 pm February, 11 The Dude said...

A face only a motherfucker could love. With spikey hair.

1:16 pm February, 11 Sir Vance of Douchemock said...

CBV lives in Houston?? Damn, I should go have a beer with him.

2:16 pm February, 11 bigphatnotadouche said...

KV is a failed fag hair dresser according Facebook.

What a life…

2:22 pm February, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Narcissistic peacock-ery coupled with 3 different Facebook pages dedicated to photos of lifting your shirt to show abs and 4900 friends of which 96% are other dudes…. very successful, eh Calvin?

3:07 pm February, 11 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

He needs to be more careful. Falling asleep with your ‘roid needle still in your hand is a recipe for a punctured gut.

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On second thought, sleep tight KV.

3:09 pm February, 11 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Anyone in here wanting to “handle” KV when he’s Bulking or Shredding? Anyone? Anyone? Yeah…I didn’t think so.

3:12 pm February, 11 JG said...

And have a go at LaBare…those brothers are giving brothers a bad name. What a self-obsessed pile of shit. And women actually pay to see this crap? And why is KV not in the photo?

Puke.

3:17 pm February, 11 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

With his certificate in Hair and Aesthetics I imagine if you pissed KV off he could spray tan the shit out of you.

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Or give you weak ass extensions that would fall out in a day or so but HA! jokes on you motherfucka what did you expect when you run your mouth and then sit down in the salon chair of Calvin Bangin yo?!?!

4:31 pm February, 11 Guid is Good said...

Calvin Bagin attended The Institute of Hair and Aesthetics – otherwise known as Douchebag U. I’m hoping that is some kind of joke but after years of HCWDB I know longer know anything.

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Flabby douchebags are so cute when they are asleep.

4:39 pm February, 11 Guid is Good said...

Rick the Dick doesn’t return Calvin Bagin’s phone calls.

6:20 pm February, 11 Troy Tempest said...

Awwww, isn’t it sweet? CAlvin’s pregnint!

6:40 pm February, 11 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Dude is a second stage exotic dancer. Basically, he waggles his peen around for chubby gay men armed with only dollar bills.

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Maybe once he figures out that swilling booze and soda does shit for his muscle tone, he might have a chance at getting feature billing and get in on the 10% cut of any bachelorette party packages he table dances for. But as for now, have fun getting crotch grabbed by drunk old fags!

4:26 am February, 12 Douchette1 said...

I’ve grown to love this guy so much!

He trains hardcore in the gym and has a great body, I would know 😉

Anyways the “Mohawk” got chopped off

And shredding season has just began!

So this is the last you have seen of Calvin PuffyPants

Catch us in Vegas bitches!

Love, tatted douchette princess <3

7:16 am February, 12 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

I had to look up these hip terms so I could understand what douchebag KV was talking about.

Bulking- verb- 1) To gain mass by ingesting large volumes of liquid protein

2) Fondling male genital to arousal

Shredding: verb-1) tearing or ripping 2) urban slang for receptive anal sex with an unusually large object- “I’m shredding”

10:20 am February, 12 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Douchette1

By grown to love this guy so much you mean “I’ve settled”.

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Vegas lasts a weekend. Some decisions, like bad tattoos and bed partners, last a very, very long time. And others, like HPV, last a lifetime.

4:50 am February, 13 Stephanie said...

He’s not sleeping,he’s waiting for the jizz to hit him,at his new job.

3:57 pm February, 13 MadCustomer said...

I’ve recently got a massage from Mr “KV” or Calvin Bowman as he is saved in my phone and wasn’t at all pleased with the experience. I am a hard working business man who get frequently stressed out and yes I do pay for deep tissue massages about once a week. I decided to switch up my masseur for the day and in walked Bangin.

I am married with two kids and the last thing I want is some money hungry faggot asking me if I cared for a happy ending for an extra $200 dollars or if I wanted him to get completely nude while he massages me for another $100.

I just wanted the knots out of my back… Is that so hard to ask for?

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