Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Pukeface McAsshole McSucksalot McIhatethisguy

Fugly Taco

Even the Bleethy Ed Hardy wearing barely legal Bleethette cannot mitigate my contempt for Pukeface McAsshole McSucksalot McIhatethisguy.

For his is the mediocrity of which nugat draws its strength from.

And yes, I know what you’re thinking. Nugat is delicious.

It is.

But nugat is still just mass produced generi-toffee. And while it gives both Twix and Snickers its bursts of joy, it still draws from a well of assembly line suckage. And so the analogy stands, even if Nugat is delicious.

That’s my argument and I’m sticking to it.

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# posted by douchebag1
Links n' stuff:
8:14 am June, 26 douchebag1 said...

Well sheeeeiiittt, I’mma go back to bed.
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– management

8:20 am June, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Things that I hope are out of the frame of this pic:
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1. Donk showing him “the ropes” of what his future in prison will be like.
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2. A vet who practices part-time proctology in his basement using high-pressure garden hoses and lawn rakes.
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3. A Sybian with some sparking wires attached to it.
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.
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Still waaaaaaaaay pissed off. Got fucked out pf $3000 yesterday. Shit like that puts a MAJOR crimp in my style.

8:44 am June, 26 FredN. said...

3k? Shite. Some douchebag using it for tonight’s bottle service?

8:54 am June, 26 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I didn’t know they were remaking classic Twilight Zone episodes.
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http://www.gadflyonline.com/wpblog/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/eye.jpg

9:19 am June, 26 Dickie Fingers said...

These two both look like they have taken some serious shots to the face.
Doc, sorry to hear about the 3 grand. I’m sure Mr. Wallnuts knows a guy who knows a guy that could trow a professional beatin on the scumbag.

9:34 am June, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Thanks fellas (FredN. and Dickie Fingers) for the kind words but short of cutting off my boss’s boss’s head I can’t do shit about it. It’s a fucking numbers game thing and I just got it in the ass. Kinda like the asshole in makin’ the face in this pic.
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I did find this pretty funny though (my nephew is in the Air Force and sent it to me):
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http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/03/hipster-joins-army-to-be-ironic/

9:44 am June, 26 DarkSock said...

As Tina hardheartedly coached on, Timmy “Brown-Tone” Tedeschi clenched and bucked savagely in his flailing attempt to gain a berth on the U.S. Olympic Mud Horn Team.

9:47 am June, 26 DarkSock said...

As panic slowly set in, Biff felt the pangs of regret on his decision to gape-hump the doorknob of Trixie’s dad’s bedroom with his anus, which now resembled a puckering Will Smith.
s
Puckering, I says

9:49 am June, 26 creature said...

this boy never works for more than minimum wage

9:50 am June, 26 Vin Douchal said...

This tool is that friend of your’s friend’s cousin that shows up with them on a chill Saturday when you’re looking to spend a few hours watching the NCAA Tourney or a football game or the like, hanging out with no big plans.
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He comes empty handed and instead of drinking the community Bud/Coors/Miller in the cooler goes to your fridge and drinks your Hoegaarden out of a frosty mug he found behind the frozen peas all the while complaining that there’s no orange slice to dangle on the mug rim. When the joint gets passed he slobbers on it and, unfortunately hands it to you as you are next..
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On a trip to the bathroom he detours into your room and comes out with your iPod asking if you have any Steve Aoki on it, then takes a swig from the Cabo Wabo Bottle from your memorabilia case, the one that Sammy Haggar autographed for you when you had backstage passes , that you weren’t ever thinking of opening.
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He puts his head back and tosses a vicodin from your medicine cabinet down with a mug draining .
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When he sees your family photo on the mantle he points to your sister and says, “Man, I’d tear that motherfucking shit UP !!”
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At some point you pull your friend aside and say, “I’m gonna take a leak. When I get out that dude’s gonna be gone, okay?”

9:53 am June, 26 Vin Douchal said...

This is pure comedy:
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Bad British Baseball Commentary

4:21 pm June, 26 bigphatnotadouche said...

Vin – I nominate you @9:50 am for the post of the month.

So awesome

6:39 pm June, 26 DarkSock said...

He says “Oooo yeah…now twist it. Jeff.”

2:23 pm June, 28 Mr. Biggs said...

DING DING DING DING DING!!!
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner for 2013!

2:23 pm June, 28 Mr. Biggs said...

I can tell you the precise day punk shows got shitty in the 90s. And it was this guy.

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