Saturday, August 10, 2013

Wallnuts After Dark: I’m on the Friggin’ Vacation

1078969_10151788442906535_1387633193_oYou know, even I need a vacation. Youse all may think I am past the time a usefulness, but I’m doin’ stuff all a the time.

Just last week I saw a guy about the thing he had an issue wit an then spoke to some other guy about a certain situation that required my unique kind a expertease. Then I had to go an see So-and-So about this an that, an I was friggin’ exhausted.

So I said to Mrs Wallnuts, “Annette,” I says, “we gotta get away for a couple a days. Pack up the Lincoln an let’s head down to A.C.” So I’m in A.C. gettin’ a little sun and havin’ a few pops whilst playin’ a little Craps and Blackjack. Annette’s into the Poker, but I ain’t never had any luck with that so I lays off.

It’s kinda dead down here though. Not all hustle and bustle like you’d think it would be or like it looks in those ads where they tell ya to, “Do A.C.” As a matter a fact I was in the new place they built that’s already in bankruptcy, The Revel, an on a Saturday night there was only one Crap table goin’ in this huge casino that’s as big as a Airplane Hanger.

It’s a far cry from the days when Martin and Lewis were playin’ gigs to packed houses in joints all over town. When you look at Vegas out there in the middle a Yemensville with nothin’ but desert bein’ wildly successful and compare it to A.C., You can see how the straights can’t run nothin’ proper.

Leave it to the suits to mess up a formula that the Mob made their bones on. I mean, come on, Our Thing has been makin’ dough hand over fist on gamblin’ since the Catskills was Kittens an these Mama Lukes runnin’ the state have figured out the only way to lose money on gaming. Madon!

It’s like them Mo-mos in New York takin’ a bath on OTB. I mean how do lose money makin’ book on the Ponies?

Anyways, I gotta go. Annette is all fired up to tan her Ninns and I need me a Cutty on the Rocks.

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# posted by DoucheyWallnuts
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2:08 pm August, 10 creature said...

w the watch, shades & life vest, I’m guessin this guy is a navy seal
…play a lil roulette DW, you deserve a break, put a coupla sheckles on 5 for me, willya

2:22 pm August, 10 Douchble Helix said...

When a casino loses $, somebody has their hands where they don’t belong.

2:25 pm August, 10 Douchble Helix said...

I’m guessing The Chief is availing himself of The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) benefits the firm provides.
.
But seriously, ever see a dude’s work go to such shit over one kid? You’d think *he* was fucking nursing that kid.

2:29 pm August, 10 DarkSock said...

Ninns, he says.
.
Come ta Biloxi. Somebody’s gotta pay for all the air conditioning and neon at all those gambling joints. Especially Margaritaville, what’s about to go tits-up. Tits-up, I says. Jimmy decided at the last minute to go cheap on it and it’s basically a big ass shed with vinyl siding up on stilts. He went extra cheap since FEMA won’t allow ANYTHING to be built below the 20 foot Katrina flood elevation (you bitch) so’s if you want to lounge outside on the deck by the bay you get food out of roach wagons and poop in a mobile crapper 18 wheeler trailer. Beau Rivage it ain’t.
.
Dixie Mafias.

2:39 pm August, 10 DarkSock said...

And speaking of Renobs, it’s about time the pron industry gave the fab mob something besides generic tanned silicone blondes. Nothing wrong with alabaster B-cup underhole queens.
stoya

2:40 pm August, 10 DarkSock said...

Son.
underhole

6:23 pm August, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That is one sweet alabaster whore Dark Sock. But I like to spend my off time gettin stoned with the fams at county fairs so Lenny and i get to smoke and drink and get our groove on while ogling young blonde Dutch chicks dressed up as cowgirls and frittering away their youth with farmers that look like smaller versions of Eli and Payton. The old dog with her head on my lap whilst I lounge under a maple is a good MILF atttactor as well. And the waterpark during Freshman Week is quite the site as well.
.
Besides my huge boner I have more advice for DB1. Get the little dear into swimming and swimming only. Maybe soccer?
Cause once you’re paying for horse boarding you will go out of your fucking gourd! Horse is just a fucking down payment fuck. And dancing, Sweet fuck! But my eldest retarded babygirl did win 4 races at the city champs yesterday and I was stoned and drunk as fuck.

7:08 pm August, 10 Douchble Helix said...

Father Time gets them all, DW.
.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/music/2013/08/10/eydie-gorme-dies/2639723/

7:29 pm August, 10 The Dude (remote loc) said...

Beautiful tome, to me. See what I did there? Wait till youse see what happens to alabaster bruney.

10:33 pm August, 10 killdoucher said...

that gearbox never fired a rifle in his puny life….he drinks with a straw!

5:44 am August, 11 jcdouchey said...

good stuff, Wallnuts.

Hey, I was up in WI an your name came up when I was trying to relax at the four seasons…

7:09 pm August, 11 johnsmallberries said...

She works so hard not to look taller.

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