Sunday, January 16, 2005

Friday Thoughts and Links: "Blinded by the lies, gelled up like a douche and now he's humpin' on my wife" edition

vance douche

By now you’ve heard the saga of the “Kissing Congressman”, who is Louisiana state Republican Congressman Vance McAllister. This guy got caught on camera swapping saliva, shirt untucked, with married mother and silly name bearer Melissa Hixon Peacock. Both are married, with spouses and children. Okay, no biggie I guess; we’re all adults here. Shit happens; t’ain’t right but hey…

 

Then I saw the photo this dill-hole, sporting those be-greased Jersey locks, glistening like a dewy field of unpicked Jheri curls.

vance and peacock

And THEN I read about how he thundered on the campaign trail about upholding the “sanctity of marriage”. O yes, uphold that shining torch for us lesser ones, ye shining beacon. Just don’t get it too close to your greasy-ass knot of a head. Look to your left; it’s the happy couple (wreckers). Is adultery douchery? Nah. Is cynical smug hypocrisy douchery? Bro, do you even vote?

Adds cuckolded Mr. Peacock of his former family friend, “While (he) ran as a religious man who cherished family values, he wasn’t actually religious. I know his beliefs. When he ran one of his commercials, he said ‘I need your prayers,’ and I asked, ‘When did you get religious?’ He said, ‘When I needed votes,'” Heath Peacock, 34, told CNN Tuesday. “He broke out the religious card and he’s about the most non-religious person I know.”

Case closed on Douche McCallister.

LelandYee - dem party in the front gun running in the back

However, in the spirit of fair and balanced journalism, let us not leave out liberal icon and fervent gun-control advocate California State Democratic Senator Leland Yee. Who, as it turns out, also ran a lucrative gun-running biz after hours. He will soon get the chance to bid on Donkey Douche’s old cell. And cell-mate.  Yee’s a virtual mullet – he’s (Democratic) Party in the front, Gun Show in the rear (room).

 

So we can all agree:  New anti-leniency rule:  sleazy politicians = Autodouche?  Share your thoughts.

Like any serious and thorough scholar of the body politic I offer the supporting documentation for my thesis:

That Bikini’s takin’ Atoll on me Pear

Jean-Flossed Pear

Good Dog Pear

Love/Hate Pear

Cheese Pear

Jean Genie Pears

No Thank You I’ve Had Enough Pear

Nature’s Pocket Pear

Hot Tub Sexy Time Machine Pear

Mesh Pear

Toe The Line Abs

You gonna bust your ass in those Pear

Doggy Style Abs

double camel-toe backpack Pear

Okay…I gotta make it up to youse all for that last one. Cleanse your palettes with Flotation Pear.

Sons.

# posted by Bagnonymous
10:05 am April, 11 Vin Douchal said...

So,.. I had this client that happens to be a lawyer in my office. Most politicians are lawyers, eh?

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So this lawyer says, “People say you become a lawyer instead of a doctor because you can’t do math,…har har..”

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My reply, “Nah,… you become a lawyer instead of a doctor because instead of helping people you want to screw them to a wall and bleed ’em dry…”

.<br.

As a testament to my closing skills, I still made the sale. In conclusion, THIS CHICK. Your welcome

10:09 am April, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Vin

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You are in the alternate universe. Son.

10:38 am April, 11 Jacques Doucheteau said...

When it comes to politiks I got nothing to say other than to quote Will Rogers, “A fool and his money are soon elected.”

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With that however

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…today is a good day. Good day indeed.

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Cuckholdtips.

11:07 am April, 11 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Politics and Pear on the same site. Now I can stop wasting my time on CNN dot come. Thanks Sock.

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Anytime I hear that preaching nonsense from a politician I know they will go down in a blaze of shame at some point, either caught with some broad whose not their wife or in a men’s room stall sausage gobbling.

11:24 am April, 11 Vin Douchal said...

I’d pay for a pay per view of Rush Limbaugh and Nancy Pellosi getting hunted and ripped to shreds by rabid bonobo monkeys. Let’s see if this has legs and we’ll start a “Kickstarter” fund

11:45 am April, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Vin

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Put me down for a fiver. That’s definitely some shit I’d be down for watchin’.

11:51 am April, 11 Dickie Fingers said...

I’m in for five, as well. That’s a lot of toe in “Toe the Line Abs”.

12:51 pm April, 11 bigphatnotadouche said...

Pear awesomeness as usual DS.

12:52 pm April, 11 bigphatnotadouche said...

I think we need camel toe Tuesday.

Just sayin…

wankers

1:03 pm April, 11 hermit said...

Politicians are a bunch of lying, self-serving, egotistical, power-hungry narcissists. Always vote for LESS power for these assholes, NOT MORE!!!

The only politicians worth a fuck are Rob Ford and Hilybia Benghazi-Clinton.

No, it’s not a bat you fat, old, cackling witch.

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Just say no to drugs.

1:11 pm April, 11 hermit said...

“W” was a coke-snorting, war mongering doofus, but his reaction time was way better.

2:35 pm April, 11 DarkSock said...

Rob Ford is the Chris Farley of politics. We need to kidnap his ass and force him to be president. Or cage-match Chris Christy.

5:29 pm April, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

In regards to Vin’s THIS CHICK, if you like your masterbatory habits you can keep your masterbatory habits.

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If you look at the Doggy Style Abs Bitch I bit off the top of her left pinky toe in a fit of passion. Fit of Passion, I says.

5:36 pm April, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Rob Ford wrote a treatise once:

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The true HISTORY OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM You were being lied to. WHO CRASHED THE ROSWELL SHIP and HOW HE DID IT – It’s very simple: The solar system was heaven, inhabited by angels prior to man. It’s in Psalms 89 10 “thou has shattered RAHAB into pieces, you scattered the sea of the great dragon.” Yahua scattered Lucifers angelic sea into outer space, all aliens are terrestrial, non heavenly celestial angels. Rahab and the angelic solar system was mentioned many times in the bible to say nothing of the 365 books Enoch wrote in his lifetime.

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UFO’s – They began to appear around the same time nuclear bombs were being tested. 334 nuclear warheads were “tested” earthwide – that was not actually nuclear bomb research. Those were portals being opened up to obtain demonic “power,” mostly “alien” technology by human governments. Stars into another dimension were observed by thee United States in the mushroom cloud of their first nuclear explosion.

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How a bomb opens a portal – It’s very simple first of all there are celestial angels, and terrestrial angels. All aliens are terrestrial angels and co. and they are attracted to outer space (outer space is the biblical “bottomless pit” mentioned in Revelations where Lucifer is bound and trapped) and underground bases because LIFE energy burns them, and so the more evil these aliens are, the deeper underground near the lava they live, sometimes docking their ships in the lava in the 4th dimension.

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[FACT: The solar system was heaven once – angels lived on our planets prior to man. Lucifer then rose to power on a planet called RAHAB and invented MONEY and POLITICS on that planet. Psalms 89 10 explains how “Planet X” got cast out “Thou has broken Rahab in pieces – you scattered the sea of the great dragon” (The sea were angelic peoples who were scattered into the abyss of space, constelations such as Orion are fake – they are angelic planet sized starships not stars)

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This is why humans who enter those underground bases don’t have videos showing thee extent of them – humans entering those bases become food for thee aliens. “on your belly/APPETITE you will go, on dust/HUMANS you WILL EAT said the creator to a Draconian named Lucifer in Genesis. When humans feel creeped out in entering deep underground caverns it is for good reason that is the Lords quiet voice speaking to them NO TRESPASSING.

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When an atom bomb goes off, the bomb itself does not open a portal, rather demons and such with advanced technology find they can suddenly employ their portal science and enter through to our humans 3rd dimension.

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Basically, terrestrial angels employ technology to be able to survive. They exist in a harsh fourth dimension vs celestial angels still in heavens 5th dimension – in fact, they are physically burned by the positive fifth dimension love and light and life energy in plants and animals which repels their morphed bodies. The fourth dimension is NEGATIVE and terrestrial fallen angels are attracted to fire therefore because fire is the quickest way to kill all life and therefore essentially generates NEGATIVE energy because fire sends the breath of life back to the creator.

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Explains why most undergound bases are far out into the deserts which are devoid of life. Tesla, a physicist, had isolated this specific peculiar energy and Wilhelm Reich built on his work and called it ORGONE – He shared his findings with Enstein who turned a cold shoulder to thee orgone. (some persons on thee earth are Lucifers, and they are demons, or reptilians placed in human bodies.) Actually, Wilhelm at first manufactured NEGATIVE orgone on accident. It attracted lights in the sky. One day, he trained his binoculars on them and was shocked to see windows.

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Al Gore in fact invented time, space, the interwhebs, and ROSWELL while teaching abortion courses at Ole Miss.

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The following article includes information on the planets and solar system where all aliens originated including where they are going: Fallen angels were once beautiful but MORPHED and became what they are through the power of precious stones especially quartz, of which Earth is comprised primarily of quartz. Earth has a consciousness, and rebels if evil beings are upon it. (see “armagedon”) Quartz in the soil is under pressure, when squeezed it emits an eternal energy that works into all other dimensions.

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Like a tranny meth dealer, I smoke ketamine with my cock and blow Heroine out my ears. I’m a mean fucker I’kk rip his fucking head off.

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MORE ON PORTALS, OTHER DIMENSIONS AND ALIEN TECHNOLOGY: CRYSTAL SKULLS forever EXPLAINED:

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“I am Yauhua – and their is no one else.” Obviously from the creators perspective you are left with no more questions. For those of you who feel the crystal skulls were a human accomplishment – you yourself were born into an angelic medium. Take a closer look at even the simplest of items you have laid out onto your computer desk – I challenge even a team of the wisest of you – if given a hundred years in a native north america, gathering raw materials, to build me a simple pencil with its exquisite lead symmetry, inserted perfectly into the wood, the shiny yellow paint that does not rub off onto your hand, thee aluminum tip, the perfect lettering…. ok now build me the machine that puts out 500 pencils in an hour. Even the T shirt your wearing, the threads are perfection. No, you could not build me a pencil, you wouldn’t know where to start to say nothing of the quartz technology housed inside your computer motherboard. Angelic technology cannot be backwards engineered. At all. Not by humans. the bible likens it to mixing clay with steel shards – impossible. Stop focusing on UFO’s it’s a distraction. Thee aliens and their technology is HERE.

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(Draconian can shape shift into a pencil if they want, the humans body is the most efficient means of locomotion in out atmosphere. Can you guess where they hide?)

Thee angels, fallen angels were cast to earth in the year 1914 during world war one. The creator began ruling secretly in that year as Daniel prophecied, that a tree stump banded in copper would sprout after 2,520 years, counting from 607 BCE.

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Hillary Clinton is the Devil.

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These angels know their time is short, because the Bible says soon “thee end will come” and planet Rahab, the planet Lucifer rose to power on, will return to shift thee earths poles in what the Bible calls armagedon which will be a war fought by the creator to remove wickedness from off thee earth. At that time the fallen angels will be jailed in the abyss, likely they will return back to the caverns of Rahabs abyss. Therefore, yes, you live in an angelic medium, and not everyone is human, and yes those crystal skulls are every bit the sorcery you think they are and no they are not made by humans hands.

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The creators motherboard: QUARTZ. It was Fallen angels learned about how to use quartz from watching the creator, not humans, and by the way computers are their fabrications not ours and so the motherboard to your computer is of course quartz.

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PLANETS; Thee earth is constucted primarily of quartz. The network in a quartz crystal consists of silicon/oxygen atoms. More than seventy elements occur naturally in the Earth’s crust, or lithosphere. However, the 8 most abundant elements account for more than 98 percent of the crust by weight. The most common of these are oxygen/silicon. Together, they make up nearly 3/4 of the lithosphere by weight. Dirt in your backyard consists primarily of sand. QUARTZ,, persistent crystal remnants of ancient dissolved stones. Heaven? …primarily quartz also.

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Your computer has a consciousness it both speaks and listens. When squeezed, quartz becomes an eternal battery of sorts. It also develops a frequency which can be set – positive or negative. Thee ark of the covenant contained precious stones of various kinds too, and natural, non magnetic metals. In the natural world, the quartz in the soil (of inhabitable planets) is under pressure, and surrounded by largely by non ferrous metals such as aluminum.

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This basic recipe can be duplicated to magnify this power of Yahua to bless and protect your area and to repel evil and evil beings together with their mind control technology, even cleans chemtrails. Revelations prophecied this weapon would complete its conquest in our day as a white rider on a horse with a bow and no arrows. As for the crystal skulls, they are an angelic fabrication – There are celestial angels, and terrestrial angels. Celestial angels are still in heaven, they are in the 5th dimension.

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Beware fat men bearing gifts of cunt.

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The creator is an actual person with a an actual name, with a definite body in a definite space in time at a place you can literally point to in the sky and “there is no one else.”) (His throne is in the sun.) The skulls were made by terrestrial angels and they are used to open portals.

With these portals you can step into a door to enter another area in space, such as traveling to Mars from Earth.

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Psalms 89 10 “thou has shattered Rahab in pieces, you scattered the sea of the great dragon.” The solar system was heaven at one time. Angels lived on Earth, Moon, Mars, Venus, and planet RAHAB and its many moons. Our iron/nickel asteroid belt offer proof Rahab was shattered here when Lucifer rose to power on it to invent MONEY, and POLITICS = creation ruling creation vs creator rule. Iron/nickel only exists into the core of a planet. Another planet was obliterated all together at that time. There is an empty spot just before Jupiter, that is where thee asteroids are, and where the planet was the Yahua destroyed. The solar system was laid to waist, and Earth had to be re created in Genesis. Actually re plenished. Nibiru, (Rahab) began spinning opposite in our solar system and thee angels on it were suddenly cast from the 5th dimension into the harsh evil 4th, their bodies morphed into Draconian. Where are we going with this? We can surmize a planets spin can dictate its dimension, even if it is evil or blessed such that we can learn to harness orgone with a POSITIVE SPIN on it. Thee energy of quartz works into all other dimensions and can manipulate them. When Rahab was cast out Lucifers solar system was destroyed. There were angels trapped in caverns on Rahab when the creator cast it out in such a way as its frequency began to generate another dimension vs the beneficial 5th dimension where good angels live. This quartz energy, which can generally be positve or negative, became NEGATIVE. Humans, plants and animals exposed to such negative energy will get sick and miserable and die, a scientist named Wilhelm Reich discoverd the very sky will even turn a dull ugly purple caste with negative orgone. In contrast positive quartz energy is like the breath of Yah, the life force. Planet earth you can say is His motherboard.

When Rahab spun backwards, its energy generated 4th dimension and thee immortal angels in it morphed – they became ugly, they became monsters – Draconians. And they eat humans. The creator told Lucifer in Genesis “on your belly/APPETITES you will go, on dust/HUMANS you WILL EAT. Also they HATE human life energy so they live deep underground near fire (lava) because fire kills all life, and life has the creators life force energy which they cannot tolerate. They torment and eat humans. Yehushua came down on this earth to reveal to humans that that is what this planet is about – it’s like the closer you get to the light, the more you get burned! Draconian are backwards…. Even perfect people are accused by the liar. The Dracs run all our governments. Getting back to orgone,,,

In the 40’s, Wilhelm Reich discovered an energy studied by Nicola Tesla called ORGONE. He was out testing his orgone device in the desert near Roswell one day to bless thee area with rain, since thee area had been cursed with a severe drought for years. Well thee orgone brought rain allright, but it also was the cause of the first UFO crash in recorded history – Wilhelm was jailed, his papers confiscated, and he died mysteriously in jail of a heart attack.

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If a Ford shits in a bucket, can anybody hear.

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Zoom forward to today, the crystal skulls were recently brought to Los Angeles in an attempt to open a portal to allow aliens (all aliens are terrestrial, fallen angels.) to enter earth. Well there is an elite angelic faction of warriors who have built on what Wilhelm taught us who specialize in crushing these evil energies and burning these wicked beings and crashing their ships using quartz stones set up to generate a POSITIVE frequency that blesses humans and burns fallen angels. The result was those crystal skulls fizzled like a wet newspaper couple years ago. The fallen angels cannot stop the power of the Most High.

This small faction of warriors need your help – make orgone to protect YOUR area today.

All those meteors you hear about lately are the result of orgone crashing angelic ships. Those ships have a fail safe relegates them back into the 4th dimension before they crash on to thee earth. Do not research orgone on thee internet. It is sabotaged used only thee orgoneblasters recipe as specified by Yehushua for generating positive energy.

The crystal skulls are an amazing piece of angelic technology that should strengthen your faith in the fact their really is a living god – “and there is no one else.”

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Naturopaths have tighter bungholes.

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“People wonder what is the purpose of life – Humans were placed into a medium surrounded by 2 basic (perfect) things – plants and animals. When you learn something about a plant that knowledge aquired is eternal. In contrast Lucifer can never quite get the picture right. With greed comes imperfection: endlessly, perpetually evolving. In contrast animals reflect the many face of the creator – it’s about relationship. That is why we are here & humans can never learn everything about the Most High. Permanent knowledge is by far the wisest investment – Reality is thee only way. Sink or swim. Not to mention in struggling to find your way to the top you eventually run out of breath.”

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I forgot what I was talking about.

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Last one out feed the green monkey hole.

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The Lord is no longer suffering fools. That earthquake on thee island of Japan was His.

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That survelance station in the east visible now (only currently) will be moving around in the sky from time to time, this is to accustom humans to thee alien presence.

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Obama’s pet baboon, Rahm Emmanuel makes shit goloms sick.

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Dimension and portal manipulation are for angels who fly not for humans. (presently – Adam and Eve could fly) We would not know they exist were it not for thee angels illegally here among us. It is not our job nor that of even the fallen angels to understand or to define the Most High or His universe.

The Bible tells us the creators place is higher then the heavens. In other words, while He will on occasion reveal Himself in the sun, the highest ranking angels are limited to that, the highest of dimensions in order to see Him.

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Trannies in the sky with MDMA.

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That is how thee orgone is effecting the bodies and the wings of the fallen angels. Its energy works into all other dimensions and there is no angel in heaven and certainly no human on earth now who ever saw it coming – up to and even including the creators son Yehushua.

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Can somebody pass the crack, Mon.? Mons?

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Stooooned. Bikini Atolls

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11:39 pm April, 11 DarkSock said...

Damn.

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Son.

12:05 am April, 12 hermit said...

Damn, indeed.

11:48 am April, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

That post crashed the Internets whilst blowing my mind.

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Beware fat men bearing gifts of cunt, Son.

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