Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Friday thoughts & Links

go home yusef youre drunk

Here you see unsung hero Yusef Mustafa. Yusef was, of course, designated to fly the 5th plane on Sept. 11 into the Statue of Liberty. So, like the other douchebag terrorists that night he went out clubbin’ with ho’s. Unlike them he decided to err on the side of boobies and pear; unlike his comrades he didn’t wake up in Hell. He walked away from that Jihad and is now a telemarketer for The Ketone Diet Plan™ by day, douchebag club-goer by night.

Hey, I never said this story had a happy ending. So now Yusef is our problem instead of the NSA’s. Let us continue The Mockk. Let us Get Their Goat. < –Totes M'Goats.

Today is the 83th Anniversary of Homer J. Simpson’s Famous Manifesto.

Speaking of Manifestos – Douchebait Manifesto.

It is also the 114th Anniversary of Stephen Hawking’s discovery of String Theory; most folks don’t know he had this epiphany at Fat Larry’s on Lady’s Night.

Bro-Bump for the Decline o’ Western Civilization.

East German girls need love too.

So, um…you need a banana for that split?

Alright you slavering wretches; that’s enough for this episode of “Dumb Whiteys Misbehaving In Club Land”. I’ll slap some gratuitous gratuity below then get back to my vacay, Son. I am OUTA HERE!!! Fetus don’t fail me now!!!

Floral Pear.

“V” Pear.

Painted Pear.

Floral Pear 2.

Brazil Nut Pear.

Thumb Dimple Pear.

Apple Bottom Pear.

To The Fap-Cave, Robin!!!

 

# posted by Bagnonymous
5:46 am April, 18 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Hipsters don’t swallow!

7:08 am April, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mustaffah breaks Lenten fast early with too much Easter jizz.

9:14 am April, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Mustafa, I gets them pre-recorded calls from marketers from Google, banks, executive meeting services , etc all the time at my office from this guy.

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I like to go ahead and push “One” for more info. When they answer I say as quick as I can because they hang up , “HEYMOTHERFUCKER I FUCKEDYOURMOMINTHEASS SEND ME MYMONEEEEEEEEEEEY!”

.

Hopefully, they interpret that as , “Please place me on your do not call list.”. Cunts

10:16 am April, 18 Dickie Fingers said...

So now all he does is terrorize his dry cleaner.

11:32 am April, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Avril Lavigne, sick of herself and Chad Kroeger, joins forces with Putin as the Mata Hari of Kiev’s ghettos.

2:14 pm April, 18 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The Miley Cyrus is in the hospital for a severe allergic reaction and will be hospitalized for three more weeks. Seems you can be allergic to too much black dick when you are a white broad.

2:29 pm April, 18 hermit said...

a href=http:/www.therealstevegray.com/wp-content/uploads/000849-sheep-pig-cow-old-pervert-man-wearing-stockings-bra-porn-having-sex-with-animal-doll.jpg>Goats are fine, but sheep are divine.

2:33 pm April, 18 hermit said...

fuck

2:35 pm April, 18 hermit said...

I quit.

Fuck you all.

4:47 pm April, 18 hermit said...

Allahu Yak-bar

6:07 pm April, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Glen Campbell is fucked.

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http://www.kansascity.com/2014/04/18/4967666/glen-campbell-moved-to-alzheimers.html

.

.

Vin’s mind is now blown.

.

.

Go Habs

6:42 pm April, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The clock on this site, as it always has, is wrong. I don’t have fucking grad school (no repect) courses from last night until a month from now cause I deferred an exa. So I’m playing Glen Campbell videos and shit.

6:42 pm April, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Oops!

.

7:48 pm April, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

.

For as it was told in the times of the land of Klonopinopia, the Glen Campbell would die a natural

8:31 pm April, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Glen Campbell has a detachable penis.

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2:21 am April, 19 Charles Douchewin said...

East German party Girls gave me a taroB renoB. Which is something I don’t want?

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Also, it took me > 10 seconds to perceive the photobomb by clockwork-orange guy.

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http://www.theinvisiblegorilla.com/videos.html

2:28 am April, 19 Charles Douchewin said...

^The Rev @ 8:31

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Then Glenn Campbell coulda’ made this an autobiographical cover:

3:33 am April, 19 bigphatnotadouche said...

Banana split gave me huge renob.

So did the the rest of the pear.

Thanks dark sock

wichita lineman

8:50 am April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mrs. Kroeger and I are taking my Glen Campbell looking Dad (respect) and slutty Barbi Benton looking Mom ( slut respect) out for their 50th anniversary tonight. They got the honeymoon suite with the balcony on the second floor so Dad can give her a quick bonin’ after supper (cause we’re gonna get the chicks drunk as fuck) and can sneak to the Montreal whorehouses stoned with me in the wee hours and shit.

6:19 pm April, 19 Vin J Douchal said...

Glen Campbell is one of the greatest entertainers ever. Ever. I saw him about ten years ago at Stateline on his come back tour. Comeback from what? Playing shitty Christian music .

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He was fast and furious on the Strat even at one point in the show asking the board op for a little less distortion, because he’s so accurate he doesn’t need it

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Then he pulls out his signature 12-string Ovation and played a manic William Tell Overture with tons of Campbell-esque fills. Dude’s voice was clear and clean, his playing energetic and creative

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Tingle-y all time stuff of him with Jerry Reed:

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Jerry Reed & Glen Campbell – Guitar Man

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He’ll be missed by guitarists that pay attention

9:37 am April, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Happy 4/20 brothers! I spent the morning stoned and mind blown by flying buttresses and Latin service at this place. There is a candle burning for Glen Campbell in Montreal.

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http://www.basiliquenddm.org/en/basilica/pictures.aspx

8:39 pm April, 20 DoucheyWallnuts said...

True shit: Glen Campbell played guitar on Sinatra’s Strangers in the Night. Hand to God.

2:25 pm April, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

wtf?

2:45 pm April, 25 FredN. said...

What the hell happened to the last coupla posts?

3:15 pm April, 25 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

The last couple of posts have gone missing. Much like the pride of the now-you-see-her-now-you-don’t Miss Ass-Licked.

8:35 pm April, 25 Doucheywallnuts What the Fucc is Goin On Here? said...

What in the Sam Hill is going on around here? Where’s all a the posts and shit? And what’s wit the security question? I don’t come here for math.

8:36 pm April, 25 Doucheywallnuts What the Fucc is Goin On Here? said...

Enough with the math….

9:23 pm April, 25 Vin J Douchal said...

Great, first I get jock rash then I give it to this website. Are you getting itchy, fellers?

9:40 pm April, 25 Charles Douchewin who did the Math, and was still denied entry said...

DW, at least you can still login.
.
All of this mucking around in the past might be effecting the present, in a Ray Bradbury-esque way.

2:32 am April, 26 Doucheywallnuts What the Fucc is Goin On Here? said...

The only math I wanna do is addin the Vig to my take. Na mean?

2:33 am April, 26 Doucheywallnuts What the Fucc is Goin On Here? said...

I figured it out. The math is to keep the Canadians out! Don’t they do that metrick system or some shit like that?
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24

11:17 pm April, 27 Reverend Chad unable to log in said...

What the fuck is going on around here? Missing posts and comments! DB1 back on the Mother site! I need ten drinks and two doobies.
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17

9:51 pm May, 6 hermit said...

wtf

11:28 pm May, 12 hermit said...

wtf34

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