Tuesday, January 4, 2005

Friday Thoughts n' Links

OrgyDouche

DarkSock here, drivin’ and cryin’ with the wheel in hand of this mofo, well past the iceberg, cackling as the lifeboats burn. Son.

There’s no telling what DB1 has been doing in his down-time since he decided to put ‘er down.

Lord knows he rode that rocket as long as a body could.

It’s an understatement to say that over years he has show us things…we have all seen some things that cannot be unseen.

Bleethes of all shapes and sizes; sadly if DB1 has shown us anything it is that their beauty is skin-deep and simply does not last. It’s hard to put one’s finger in it. Err, on it.

But you didn’t time-travel all the way to the Year 2005 for pensive ruminations on ruminants, did’ja? No. Didn’t think so. *sigh*

Here’s yer Gratuitous Offering o’Pear that will surely keep the faithful coming (and returning, also):

Taut Pear. (Courtesy of Alert Renober D. Wallnuts)

Care-Bear-Down-There-Pear.

Beloved Hall-Of-Hot Fenny “LaPlante” Pear ***GLORY BE UNTO ALL***.

Post-Fenny Palette-Cleanse Jacques Memorial Disturbing Yet Mercifully Small Hodor Pear.

Holy Yoga Triangle renoB Pear.

One-Eyed Purple People-Eater Pear.

Tourniquet Pear.

Stare-Out-There-Peach-Fuzz-Pear.

Sorry-for-Tourniquet-Pear-So-Here-Is-Highly-Experimental-Frontal-Fuzzy-Pear-Son Pear.

Until next time, faithful Elite – as we say in the French Quarter – “J’ai fait pipi dans un cheval une fois!”

# posted by Bagnonymous
12:20 am March, 14 bigphatnotadouche said...

Pear is back. I have clean my computer screen.

Thanks Dark Sock

5:10 am March, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Love the Bleeth/Mosquito comparison…it gave me the renoBs along with the Pears, except Tourniquet Pear.

5:31 am March, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Bravo! Son.

5:34 am March, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That means good job in the Latin first person pluperfect conjugation and shit. I’m go do as they say in the Cockney get shitfaced this afternoon.

6:21 am March, 14 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

Tourniquet Pear was ordering a Big Mac/Double Quarter Pounder Happy Meal. With a Diet Coke,of course, cause, you know, a girl must watch her figure.

8:25 am March, 14 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Sock, well done. How I miss this stuff. Please keep it coming, as much as you can. Any chance of an occasional haiku ? Helps keep one’s mind sharp.

8:33 am March, 14 Dickie Fingers said...

What the hell is Tourniquet Pear thinking? That has to be Florida.

9:42 am March, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

He of the Dark Sock is kicks ass!!!!, thank goodness as i was seriously going through pear withdrawal and by pear I mean firm, succulent, ripe female buttocks.

9:44 am March, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

Apropos of nothing “Roxy By Proxy” has finally been shipped, it took them long enough.

10:01 am March, 14 Vin J Douchal said...

How about an Abs thingy ?

.

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I gots a thing about women with tight abs. You can’t sit and oggle Zyzz all day, some of these babes have asthetic. Celebrities, too

.

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Am I right?

10:24 am March, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Tourniquet Pear is so fat she got arrested at the airport for carrying ten pounds of crack.

10:28 am March, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Tourniquet Pear is so fat she uses a satellite dish as a diaphragm.

10:28 am March, 14 hermit said...

We all know DB1’s a daddy and has gone all domestic and shit. I hear he even bought a mini-van.

10:28 am March, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Tourniquet Pear has more rolls than a bakery.

10:29 am March, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Tourniquet Pear is so fat she fell over and rolled herself to sleep trying to get up.

10:30 am March, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Tourniquet Pear is so fat she needs 10ft of chain link fence and a grain thresher to wipe after taking a shit.

10:31 am March, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Tourniquet Pear is so fat she pees SAE 10w-30.

10:32 am March, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Tourniquet Pear is so fat the only alphabet she knows is here KFCs.

10:33 am March, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Tourniquet Pear is so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass.

10:38 am March, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

You mamma so fat she needs a mirror and a broom handle to use her dildo.

10:40 am March, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Ha! I meant Tourniquet Pear…unless Tourniquet Pear is your momma.

10:52 am March, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Tourniquet pear is so fat they use her Meat Curtains at a Broadway theater.

10:53 am March, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Tourniquet Pear is so fat someone told her they liked her Chaps and she said, “Those aren’t Chaps, they’s my Meat Curtains.”

10:55 am March, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Tourniquet Pear is so fat her Meat Curtains were mistaken for a Giant Squid.

10:57 am March, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Tourniquet Pear is so fat they are searching her Meat Curtains for Flight MH 370.

10:58 am March, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Tourniquet Pear is so fat Russia used her Meat Curtains as a training ground for the invasion of the Crimea.

11:18 am March, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Tourniquet Pear is so fat, the cottage cheese eats her.

11:19 am March, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Tourniquet Pear is so fat that “I can’t work under these conditions!”

2:50 pm March, 14 DarkSock said...

Vin – I’m liking the idea of expanding the ogle-scope to include other female body pieces.
.
Me and Rev are Mons Men. Mon.
hey mon

2:54 pm March, 14 DarkSock said...

Magnum Douche – Yeah I’m try and slip a Haiku in there once a week. Maybe put it out Thursday, pick front pagers the next day since the pace is more laid back now that PEAR!!!
A
AA

2:58 pm March, 14 DarkSock said...

When tourniquet pear lays on her side she looks like a meat bow tie.

3:33 pm March, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

I’m in agreement regarding more Mons Veneris and or Pubis. How do i know when there will be news posts? DSock check your email son.

3:57 pm March, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

As Old Man Winter grudgingly loosens up on his grip, his oh so wretched grip Winter gives way to Spring. Ahh Spring time a time of rebirth, less layers of clothing with the promise that in future days there will be even less layers of clothing. Sure some of the skin that will be exposed will be pasty and flabby but imagination is a hell of thing.

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It’s only fitting that as we mourn the passing of our daily yuk fest that was HCwDB there is hope on the horizon in the form of an Ambien fueled, bass playing, boating enthusiast with a great appreciation of the female form. I for one am looking forward to this Spring and DSocks offerings. May we all rejoice in a appreciation of the Pear, the Mons and whatever else he throws at us.

6:39 pm March, 14 hermit said...

I agree with Et Tu, we are entering a new astrological era.

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This is the dawning of The Age of Ass-pear-ius.

6:41 pm March, 14 hermit said...

Tourniquet Pear doesn’t wear Daisy Dukes. She wears Daisy Pukes.

10:48 pm March, 14 DarkSock said...

Et Tu:

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It checks the e’er standing Site Death Page.

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It scrolls down to the bottom.

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It sees a new post from DarkSock that goes

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TODAY IS MARCH 10, 2014.

But…on January 3, 2005, THIS happened.

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Or something.

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It clicks on the linkk.

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It genuflects.

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OR

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It’s lazy ass goeth unto yon “Archives” category to the <— left side o' the current HCwDB page, runs hither und yon unto 2005, and since there aint much there yet (son) start in January.

.

becUSAE a buddyo mine brung me some Lenny o th' box and since it's aboot 5 weeks til I must subject to my surgeions piss test o purity I partook OF THE GREENSLEEVES (respekt) and then O YES VERILY did I thusly point yonder remote unto mine U-VERSE BOX and begin to watch teh fccen excellent remake of COSMOS by Neil DeGRASS (respekt) Tyson and let the TV drip right down into my eyes.

.

then verily 4 minutes in did I run, as a slit-eyed jack-assed weed demon, with a warrior's stride, verily unto THIS HERE VERY LAPTOP and minding my own business did I casuually beGoogle the current undertakings of Stoya. renoB,

.

.

.

.,

,

what were we talkin' about?

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REverend.s

10:49 pm March, 14 DarkSock said...

torniquet pear’s so gross she’s 144. son.

10:51 pm March, 14 DarkSock said...

fuccers

5:41 am March, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

As the celebration of Patrick the Saint kicks in to full gear this weekend may your Guinness® be room temp and your beef corned.

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May the drunken lass you meet, with the “Kiss Me I’m Irish” t-shirt, fondle, grope, slurp, yank on your turgid shillelagh to the point that your Bailey’s® Irish cream is spewed haphazardly betwixt and uponst her freckled breastess hopefully free of aforementioned “Kiss Me I’m Irish” T-Shirt.

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Erin go Braah, Sláinte and shit to you all.

5:43 am March, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

May her 4 Leaf Clover not smell of cabbage.

5:50 am March, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

May her Ham be dangled.

5:53 am March, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

May the Irish NOT be Fighting, seriously!! just have fun.

6:05 am March, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

May you hopefully be able to taste her Wild Irish Rose after the parade ends and post parade shenanigans ensue back at her triple decker in Mouthie, I meant Southie.

6:08 am March, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

May her Bushmills® be tasty.

7:17 am March, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Or you can bookmark this page and turn on an update alert if you got a good tech guy at work.

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The bikini bridge has been decried by many a feminazi as a misogenistic body shame slam and an example of social dysfunction wrought out by our patriarchal society. I must agree that it is a beautiful way to view the Bridge Over the Pubis Mons and a hearty Erin go Bra and tasty cola beverages for everyone.

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Tourniquet Pear smells like cabbage and cane toad (respect).

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Sorry I missed ya stoned Sock. The Mrs. fell off the wagon and drank a bunch of Jello shots then I washed up the spew and ate some stew and fell asleep. stoooooned. Son.

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I like that black astronomer. He ain’t no purple lipped Sambo.

7:28 am March, 15 Dickie Fingers said...

The slower pace here in 2005 isn’t so bad.

7:46 am March, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

May her Irish brown eye be smiling.

7:49 am March, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

If you do run into a lovely Irish lass today may you have bathed your joint & under carriage with Irish Spring® in case of potential knob job and or tongue darting.

11:24 am March, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

There’s only 30 days left till Pasech goys. If you own Jews, that’s all the time you’ve got to get the chametz out of your houses? I got a new strain of weed coming called Holy Moses that’s kosher for the seder plate. And please come this year Elijah so i don’t get too drunk. And bring Donna Brazile to help me make her sweet southern gafiltetoufee.

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12:45 pm March, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d like to get in The Wayback Machine with Stoya and Sherman. Stoya who?

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http://ramthesunlover.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Anal-Stoya-ass-fuck-gif-3.gif

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