Saturday, January 8, 2005

Limerick Hoe-Down o' the Week

the long tan auf der law

Trish was the Copperest-Copper there was,

She set Lance’s young loins all a-buzz;

But she had no Brazilian,

Had pubes by the trillion,

Lance found why her nickname’s “The Fuzz“.

What?  What’s that?  You think YOU can do better?  Well, that’s why we have us a comments section here.  Son.  Have at!

# posted by Bagnonymous
5:24 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Trish was a fine English Bobbie

Met young Ian Smith in the lobby.

His rap sheet was dirty

But she thought he was perty

And gave him a cuff job wet and sloppy.

5:29 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Aussie Trish is the colour burnt umber.

On the beach she fell into slumber.

The lobsters and crabs,

Crawled over her abs,

And slid up her juicy down under.

6:47 am March, 23 hermit said...

Sunburned Rita, meter maid

Two hours ‘neath the sun lamp laid

With a half-pint of whiskey,

‘Til her cooter turned crispy

So she had to go oral on Wade.

2:15 pm March, 23 DarkSock said...

The winner with the best limerick wins this dog, unless the winner is hermit, since this actually IS his dog:
ug

5:41 pm March, 23 hermit said...

Definitely not my dog.

.

Ex-wife maybe.

.

I’ve seen dogs run over by trucks look better than that.

6:03 pm March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’ve got some videos of my 14 year old Golden (respect) haning a diahrreah and shit. sn

7:50 pm March, 23 DarkSock said...

There once was a vagabond named hermit

Who’d poked more piggies than Kermit;’

He made love to rot-gut

And resembled Kurt Vonnegut,

When he scored a big butt he’d sperm it.

8:03 pm March, 23 DarkSock said...

And then we have a Reverend Canadian;

The French drunks down South are called Cajun;

He digs the way that Rush rocks

And knows Lenny The Box

And if he’ll share Lenny’s number I’ll pay him.

8:06 pm March, 23 DarkSock said...

Wait…my apologies, hermit. That’s Jack Elam’s dog.
asdfff
g

8:29 pm March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Limericks about Sock

Tend to talk about cocck

But just between us his

Ex caused a fuss and said

That it’s only a Weenus.

8:39 pm March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The new weed is very, very piney.

Mrs. Kroeger gets awefully whiney.

But to Seder i come,

Finger and thumb,

Ramming my stoned cock up her hiney.

8:47 pm March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

People they think there are aliens,

Like Judy Garland boffing Italians

In Central Park

It’s never dark.

But the hobos resemble mammalians.

9:02 pm March, 23 DarkSock said...

A bag hunter who was known as Vin Douchal

Made songs for our Heads that were Crucial;

He serenaded a ho-bag called Francine

Who he wished would inhale his Vin-Peen

In her buttocks that were regretably poo-full.

9:04 pm March, 23 DarkSock said...

D. Wallnuts, he ran wit’ th’ Rat Pack;

They only nailed broads what was full-stack.

Whilst in his prime spot

Dames offered their dime spot

But now he does chemo and poos black.

9:17 pm March, 23 Jacques Doucheteau said...

There once was a reg named Jacques

Who could bust out with some serious mock

But more often he thinks

To make disturbing links

And tell stories ’bout his feces covered cock

2:42 am March, 24 hermit said...

There once was a Canadian appraiser

Who liked to pick up hooker teenagers

He drove around drunk

With weed in his trunk

‘Til the cops took him down with a taser.

6:39 am March, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I prefer analyst Hermit

The muppet have froggie named Kermit

Lenny and I

Always drive high

Cause I don’t have license permit

9:10 am March, 24 DarkSock said...

The man named Jacques Doucheteau

Went places that no one should go;

He’d post up a link

full of stink, hair and pink

And cause all the Reg’s chunks to blow.

12:28 pm March, 24 Vin Douchal said...

All you Fucknuts, especially ‘Sock

Spend your time fondling yer cocck

This shit is soft porn

Put down your pone, corn

And check out this nasty Milf block

12:31 pm March, 24 Vin Douchal said...

This overly tanned English Bobby

Trends towards drunks, fat and slobby

Give her boyfriend a wink

And today add a twink

They’ll both give that BF a knobby

2:20 pm March, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Vin D loves him some Francine

To her I would do things obscene

Stick my tongue up her ass

Bang her slow and then fast

Coat her face with my personal skin cream

4:47 pm March, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She looks like she cooks a good haggis

And probably grooves with the faggots.

Cause Pete here we know

Is a flaming homo

And looks kind of like Greg Louganis.

8:05 pm March, 24 DarkSock said...

Rev, that’s….Hell. Close enough. Son.

9:29 pm March, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Five months of snow

The barrens to go.

Depression clutches us all,

Our sombre season since fall.

I need some good blow.

12:10 am March, 25 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Though Vin is at times somewhat odd,

And may be a old perverted sod,

By the milf porn he provided

To my penis my hand was guided

And rubbed out a chunky wad.

10:41 am March, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I can’t get a line on a limerick

On account a this ain’t no hot chick

She’s more like a dog

And her Snatch smells like a Bog

Which is sure to wither my dick

10:55 am March, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

There once was a young man named Tim

who wanted some hot British quim

he tried and tried

to get it inside

but it turned out she was really a him.

10:57 am March, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

All that’s left are The Regs

Makin fun a these Societal Dregs

And these two aren’t so bad

Compared to the losers we had

Next we’ll have chicks with no legs

11:01 am March, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

In England the Jolly Old Snapper

Smells like a subway crapper

The chicks don’t wax

Their pink Cockney Cracks

And their Meat Curtains can work the Clapper

11:03 am March, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Fuck the Police” ranted Eazy E

Bobby thought “Hey, why not me?”

So he went to the bobby

and started to lobby

that’s when she capped him right in the knees

1:03 pm March, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This Two-thousand and five

Is grooving with my jive.

Just won a bid to go retroactive

On a job very that seems very attractive.

And in this year I have already arrived?

1:14 pm March, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This is a new thing to mock? Almost as bad as the women no makeup shit. If G_d wantednwomen to run around ugly, he wouldn’t have invented concealing shit.

.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/men-are-putting-their-penises-in-socks-on-instagram-for-canc?bffb

3:53 pm March, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I think putting your cock in a vagina is the best way to raise awareness for just about everything. Putting your cock in a sock and selfie-ing is Autto…

4:30 pm March, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Officer The Rev is on the job!

.

http://tampa.cbslocal.com/2014/03/25/woman-claims-police-forced-her-to-poop-in-yard/

4:47 pm March, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I saw one a them meth joints up north of Ottawa after a law firm had to repo it after the small fire that exposed the clandestine lab. People have turned into such pussies ya gotta rehab the building to cray cray extremes. Cray cray, I says. Just cause there’s a residential component. Pussy regulations fucking shit. Ya used to be able to buy em and flip em like ya should. Paint covers that meth shit up. Liberal fluoride fearing weirdos. I told the guy with the whatever the fuck those big wrecking things are called that met me there to tear it down. Pussies.

.

There was a slim two day old medium length turd in the cooking room. I sense a trend. Son. Stoooned.

8:47 pm March, 26 DarkSock said...

D.W.’s alert reader story of a woman being forced to poop in her own yard takes place in, of fuccen course, Florida.

.

Florida – America’s WTF Japan.

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