Friday Haiku 4 Hatters, Yo
Tina Tanned Tatas
Mocks YOU, the Hatters. Lo! Hark!
What have you to say?
FratDouche Billy Bob
With His Glow-Worm™ Belt Dildo™
Leads her from the Club.
Nancy, sofa-sized,
Smirks from her sofa at us –
Our perceived demise.
Do you go gently
Into that poo-orange night,
Or rage a’gin it?
Esteemed Gentlemen
(and the Reverend Chad Kroeger)
I pee in that horse.
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
She stopped eating horse
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Donkey Hole.
hermit said…
Horse meat ain’t all bad
a delicacy in France
and at Taco Bell
DoucheyWallnuts said…
Neckbeard in background
Happy he’s not with these two
Talks to potted plant
Capt. James T. Douche said…
She looks likes she earns
A living queefing into
Bags she sells online
** ^WTF? I dig it though. -D.S.**
Vin Douchal said…
Machmoud Al-Largeman
Planted ass bomb in men’s room
Slinks back to losers
DoucheyWallnuts said…
The Rhinoplasty
Improved her face a little
So did the fake tits
She stopped eating horse
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Donkey Hole.
It puts the snails
On the horse, or it gets the
Hose, the stoned drunk hose.
Julia Ormond
Saw this picture and shoved barn
Straw in her poom poon
Ten minutes later
Everyone in the bar went
And farted on him
I’d rage at her with
My Viagra fueled meat lance.
I love Mulattoos.
don’t hate on cheval
’til you eat what the French love:
sautéed mule pizzle
glow-worm belt dildo
and Viagra-fueled meat lance
makes my sphincter twitch
Horse meat ain’t all bad
a delicacy in France
and at Taco Bell
Roy Rogers leads way.
Had faithful steed Trigger stuffed.
Cornbread stuffing, natch!
Lesson for today:
Opprobrium on t-shirt
Not the way to go
Neckbeard in background
Happy he’s not with these two
Talks to potted plant
She’s more a Quadroon
Than she is a mulatto
But I’d bang her tits
The Rhinoplasty
Improved her face a little
So did the fake tits
She looks likes she earns
A living queefing into
Bags she sells online
Losers gonna hate
Mockers gonna mock but she’s
Not sucking your cock
She is gesturing
The number of VD scares
She’s had just this week
She gestures for two
“go get two thousand, Honey”
for a sad hand job.
The span of her cans
Her choice of Douche. She’s a Bleeth.
Phenomenal Bleeth
Prithee, my brother
Call out Haters in the club
Whilst Macking on Bleeths
If I suddenly
Die whilst looking at this, know
My hate fed off yours
Cooking show diva
Giada De Laurentiis
Now Bleeths with Douches
She has been smiling
Since Rev Chad ordered his horse
“Blue, covered in onions”.
Her shocker gives one
in your ass one in your
piss hole. Hurts like hell
Machmoud Al-Largeman
Planted ass bomb in men’s room
Slinks back to losers
It’s true, Yes I do
Work snipping dogs for a Vet
This chump will be next
Latest surgery
Brought her breast size up two ticks
Eyes up here feller
Glowing orbs on hair
Throb like a hard raging cockk
Yes, we would hate fuckk
Had shit to do this
morning. Get cut out of the
haiku. I hate work.
Fleshlight in pocket
connected to to his Grindr
account lights his ass.
My focus leaves horse.
New dig is the shapely fifteen
Year old nanny ass.
Teen ballerinas
Have strong lean thighs, tight buttocks
And thin tops. Perverts.
Mrs. Kroeger at
Chick reunion. Neighbour and
I get Pink Kush stoooned.
Daughters suffer the
Neglect of disinterested
Old drunk man father.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/blog/2014/07/yea-though-i-walk-through-the-beaches-of-douche/
http://www.cnn.com/2014/07/15/showbiz/celebrity-news-gossip/rapper-severed-penis-andre-johson/?hpt=ob_articlefooter&iref=obinsite
Demons can be motherfuckers. Demons force us to live in crowded, greasy stinkholes with abandoned automobiles and bacteria. They make us eat fried foods and inhale the toxic fumes from dry-wrapped vegetation. They weaken us with fermented grain and whisper sweet sonnets of lust into our ears, then deliver stinging urine and open genital warts. They force us into identical, vinyl-clad boxes over a labyrinth of subterranean rivers which run red with Juicy Juice<sup®sup and the blood of pee pee and feces. They herd our young boys into cultural retraining centers where they’re forced to regurgitate the central government tenet flawlessly. If they fail, the demons force them to free-base Risperdal<sup® out of stainless steel dog bowls so they suffer the shame of massive breast-growth and a lifetime of oozing lactation. Demons are a disruptive nuisance, but we all learn to live with them.
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But, when your demons instruct you to sever your wang and jump off of a two-story building, it’s time to get some new demons.
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Just one man’s opinion.
Good story Hermit!
.
Fuck Dark Sock! You are competing with the DB1. Throw down a card, Son.
.
On a lighter note, and by lighter I mean life-altering, Rev. Chad 1 had kidney failure this week and this stoned asshole got him to the hospital in a nick of time. I’ve lifted the DNR and am now a trust fund kid. 71 is too young to live and to old to die and shit. Stoooond
Nice job getting him to the hospital in time Rev Chad 2.
This was Andre Johnson’s first foray into writing:
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Mom Don’t Read