Friday, February 18, 2005

Greenie Weenie needs guidance counseling

greenie weenieBehold the now-former co-worker of one of our un-named regs. Due to unspecified TomDouchery he now finds himself unemployed.

Rather than mock this pour soul I figured you guys could suggest a new career path befitting his…um…skillset.

Or mercilessly mock the mofo.

Why not both!

# posted by admin
10:14 am June, 26 Et Tu Douche? said...

Kids don’t marry fat chicks for their money this is what can happen. Drugs, booze, rehab, shame, marrying Roseanne for her money and trying to stay relevant, as if he ever was relevant, will do this to you.

11:12 am June, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Pimp for Leprauchauns.

11:34 am June, 26 Et Tu Douche? said...

This is a cautionary tale of one of the most heinous,foulest of things a real man can do, marrying for money. Having witnessed first hand 2 guys who have married chicks I knew for money I can tell you it is a most shameful, soul sucking thing. One of the guys parades around town as a “successful business man” but the reality is he’s anti depressant pill popping, alcoholic, yam-yam addict who can barely function on a daily basis. The big house with a pool, the vacation house on the island, access to her dads millions and he’s a total wreck but you know what fuck him and the “dream” he chased and caught..
.
The other guy was literally a starving artist, living hand to mouth squatting in an abandoned brewery with other like minded artists. Within 6 months of he was flying private, cavorting around Vegas in luxury suites, weekends in Napa etc; It wasn’t long before the “starving artist” ditched his artistic integrity, dress code and popped the question. The fat entitled, spoiled rotten J A princess, heiress, only daughter to a massive fortune, couldn’t believe her luck. Now they live “happily” ever after, ensconced in a house very few could afford (Nice wedding gift!!) in a sexless sham of a marriage. As for his “dream” he’s now a hen pecked, cuckolded, yes man who has learned to jump really high when called upon lest he lose out on his monthly allowance and palatial digs.
.
Tombaggery is a great name for it and he shamelessly milked it for all it’s worth but in the end when he and the above mentioned can’t sleep at night due to the self loathing shame and regret and need to ingest, consume on a daily basis drugs and alcohol to ease their pain all I can say is you got what you wanted not so fun is it.
.
if you can’t earn in and have to marry for it then fuck them all I say. SCUMBAGS!!!!!!!

2:31 pm June, 26 Charles Douchewin said...

^ “if you can’t earn in and have to marry for it then fuck them all I say. SCUMBAGS!!!!!!!”
.
Huzzah! to Et Tu for reiterating the same thought, of every Woman, since the Paleolithic.
.
.
.
Gold-diggerz.

2:36 pm June, 26 Charles Douchewin said...

I’d suggest this guy go into organ donation. But clearly brains and ball are out, and he’s doin’ a piss-poor job at advertising the rest.

3:03 pm June, 26 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Jizz mopper for the booths at the local peep show ?
.
and brilliant rant, Et Tu !

4:47 pm June, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So let’s see…. this clown needs a job you say?
.
Hmmmmmm… how’s about the following?
.
Ball pit cleaner at Chuck E. Cheeze where the only cleaning product available is that tongue of his.
.
KKK membership sign-up committee chairman in Compton.
.
That guy who collects the golf balls at the driving range. Yeah, but without the cart.
.
He’s gotta be qualified for one of these, right?

5:44 pm June, 26 Vin Douchal said...

Some shitty Radiohead song (redundant) came on Sirius in the background as I read Et Tu’s bile spewing adding effect to the tone of the missive.
.
Listen, at the end of the day the first person you have to fool is yourself. Once you’ve got that handled it’s a matter of being able to convince yourself over and over again. Not saying it’s right but let’s face it, creature comfort has it’s costs whether it’s paid with your sweat or someone elses
.
Fuck Fish Slap
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Going to Vegas , shitfacedness awaits. Son

5:57 pm June, 26 hermit said...

Nice work Et Tu, but I beg to differ. I’ll take a loveless marriage to some rich cunt tomorrow. I’m content with my self-loathing, and I drink and pop pills anyway. At least I’d have air-conditioning, three squares a day and indoor plumbing.
By the way, seems like the only ones wanting to get married these days are the gays, and that’s only because they can’t.

6:02 pm June, 26 Vin Douchal said...

This guy used to fuck a Dixie Chick. Divorced, now he’s back to playing hack honkey tonks and looking for a record label. Sucks, dude
.
Charlie

6:18 pm June, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Why’s everybody always picking on me?

9:11 pm June, 26 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Perfect job: Cadaver.

9:25 pm June, 26 Douchesdownunder said...

No-one has mentioned at all this fabulous woman that the dole-bludger has luckily teamed up with.

10:22 pm June, 26 Vin Douchal said...

Just when things couldn’t get any shittier, the day brightens:
.
.
THIS!

11:43 am June, 27 Et Tu Douche? said...

http://worldcupgirls.net/

12:40 pm June, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Frog don’t eat no flies
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.

Leave a Reply

What is 2 + 6 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)