Thursday, February 3, 2005
Memorial Day Weekend Thoughts & Links
Grampa here gets a Nottadouche Pass™ for being one of our honored veterans (he was wounded in Gettysburg…during the Korean war. Long story.) Let us all throw a slab of animal on a hot grill this weekend and reflect on those who never came home.
Yes, it’s that time of year to celebrate our awesome military – where many of us go for a long ride, way across-country, to hang out with family members we don’t really like (like our weird cousin Arnie) and eat good food.
But you pervs came here to open up links about women, didn’t you?
Have at:
Patriotic Right To Pear Arms Pear (not bad for 53…)
Memorial Day Ham Dangle™ on “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butt Hair Pear” for the win and by win I mean turgidity.
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Time to marinate my Pork loins & Flank Steaks, I loves me some grilling.
Nice pears. Happy Memorial Days fuckers!
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On this day of memory, we must remember the aftershocks reverberating through Western society since DB1 killed the main page. So many normal men lost. But now we know where Wedgie went. Damn you to Hell DB1! Damn …you…to…Hell.
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All due respect to Dark Sock.
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The Canadian Navy salutes you in the brief vignette.
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Fine Canadian Beaver, Rev.
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Don’t be dissin’ on the Canadian Navy (respect). They busted up in here right after Katrina and got shit done. First we were all like “What’s a Canada? And does a ‘Canada’ really have a navy?” But they showed up at one of my client’s projects – the Coast Coliseum and Convention Center, who’s roof stayed on, unlike the Cajun-built Superdome. Folks rode out the storm in the Coliseum; it was crazy. Ice was down for a scheduled hockey game. The warm gulf water surged in, up to 8 feet high. It hit the ice sheet and the joint fogged up like it was an Ozzy concert. People there told me they saw either a bull shark or a small dolphin swimming around down on the arena floor, glad to be out of the storm. (about 300 people too dumb to evacuate were up in the stands). The surge swept cars, huge tree trunks and parts of Plinky’s Mom’s back scabs into the building.
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The crazy fuckers from the Canadian Army first chained all the concourse entry doors to their military vehicles and snatched them all off. Which was not necessary since there were multiple roll-up doors around the concourse. But it was cool and it made them happy. Then they cleared all the muck, trunks, cars and dead sea life out of the arena. Took ONE DAY. Then they said “Fuck, this heat, eh? How can you live here?” and they were gone.
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The crazy part? They looked like Americans, albeit Yankees.
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Medical FACT.
That’s true, Dark Sock. They look like Yankees – but smell like Tories.
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I don’t really know what I’m saying.
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But I do know I’m learning a lot about Canadian wildlife, from the Rev: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQIZkbeSGtU
^ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71F_f15FXnk
Reverend Chad’s kids were swimming in 52 degree water today as my neighbour bud and I were having smokes and drinking cans and taking care of our two month yards stoned.
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Most of the Cougars (respect) give me a youthful expression in my penis. I’m stooooooned watching the hockey and eating seal.
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Charles Douchewin…Please help me get rid of our lesbian leader.
Oh I finally posted the Haiku front pagers.
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Sons.
“O What to Wear Pear” is appropriately dressed.
Thanky lord for a Friday pear drop!!
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Just blew in from a trip to San Diego. So yah, it’s a different vibe than Chi Town.
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The Pacific Beach d-bags with all matching leg and arm tats, ‘cruiser’ bikes, and fish taco t-shirts really made me sad, and then the bronzed sideboob dum-dum sluts wearing only 1 oz of fluorescent neoprene made me cry but not because I was sad, and then I realized the So Cal sluts were with the d-bags and I wept tears of blood. For reals.
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So I guess what I’m saying is that we should kinda understand Elliot Rodger. Amirite?
Are ya all dead or what? At least you don’t spend your time driving around with a stoner working as an over-qualified farm appraiser in butt-shit fucking nowhere! Wait. I’m working totally stoned and drunk. Happy 4th of July you wankers!
Hey Et Tu, you out there?
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Did you see that farce that was the Champions League final? The fix was in! Can’t have Atletico win, they don’t have that anal creampie abortion Ronaldo on their team! Especially when it’s in Portugal. And we have to make sure he scores a goal (oh a hand is on my shoulder, I HAVE to fall down in the 18 yard box!) or he’ll claim how his clit was chafing during his heavy flow day. Totally fixed! Now that Diego Simeone, that dude can coach my team anytime. It would have been awesome if he punched Varane in his little turd-licker face. What thinks you?
I think I’ll hire this guy for my next legal problem
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Why do I find this so fuccen funny…
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@ Doc,
Yes I did watch the CL final and your assessment of the match & CR7 is spot on. I remember the announcer saying that he couldn’t wait to take his shirt off, what a jackass!!!!. Diego Simeone is the man I wish he could of gotten a hold of that kid. It would of been awesome if Atleti won. Did you notice how quickly Real had a tricked out, customized bus for the early morning parade? I’m not sure how quuickly that could be done either they are bold and arrogant enough to pay for that before hand or maybe they already knew what the outcome was going to be.
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Cope Del Mundo in Brasil in a month or so is gonna be great and the reason being is all the smoking hot chick supporters of the various countries along with the WAGS will be be showing up on websites left & right. Here’s hoping the Cote d’Ivoire can go deep in the tournament I like rooting for the small teams.
I made my daughter quit soccer cause she looked gay.
I made my daughter quit soccer cause it made Her Little Pony’s hair ribbons look gay.
I made my daughter quit soccer cause it made Her Little Pony’s hair ribbons microscopic tiny persons world look gay.
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Stoooooooooooned.
Methinks “Oh What To Wear Pear” appears a bit…..mannequinish?
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Is that a small town in Maine or New Hampshire? Sons?
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Anyway, I can still fap to her, so no worries.
Between the pee-pee and yeasty smell of the old dog and the weed emanating from my frozen pores, it smells like skunk around here. My golden retreiver smells pretty ripe too.
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The pictures of these chicks have given me the lovely boners.