Saturday, March 5, 2005
WHY NOT CARROT TOP?
or…
Hot Chicks With Douche Bags
PICTURES OF HOT CHICKS WITH TOTAL AND COMPLETE DOUCHEBAGS. WITH COMMENTARY.
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Hall of Mock
- Pfah
- DarkSock
- Baron Von Goolo
- Troy Tempest
- Steve L
- Wheezer
- Medusa Oblongata
- creature
- Crucial Head
- Mr. White
- Archidoucheis
- Mr. Biggs
- Vin Douchal
- Sergeant Scrote Stain
- boatbutter
- Captain Bringdown
- Whoop-di-douche
- Jacques Doucheteau
- massengill
- Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
- Mr. Scrotato Head
- Deltus
- The Reverend Chad Kroeger
- mr.reeve
- Wedgie
- Et Tu Douche?
- Eliza Douchcoo
- dbBen
- soy bomb
- DoucheyWallnuts
- I R A Darth Aggie
- jonezy
- Hermit
- Chris in ‘Baghdad
- Douchble Helix
- the douche is alright
- Choad the Douche Sprocket
- Stephanie
- The Dude
- Dude McCrudeshoes
- Sir David Douchenborough
- Il Douché
- Bag A
- douche equis
- Capt. James T. Douche
- Charles Nelson Douchely
- THEONETRUEDOUCHE
- Merle Baggard
- ehcuodouche
- Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
- Charles Douchewin
- FredN.
- Ol' Dirty Douchebag
- In memoriam: bcs
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nottadouche nanu; goinpeace.
….Bob Sagett
Bob Belichick
Bob Barker
Phil Spector
Arlen Specter
Regina Spektor
Inspector Gadget
Gidget
Eric Holder
My neighbor’s dog
Ted Danson
Those three puds from the last post……
Regarding the last post:
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It angers me to see those three greaseballs drooling all over that poor, innocent Catholic schoolgirl. They are the scum of the earth, with no money in their pockets and iniquity in their loins. Makes me want to chew rifle cartridges and spray kittens with apple juice.
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Actually it makes me sad. Filling me with bouts of melancholy. Like that cartoon chick in the Abilify commercial.
I sieze this opportunity of previous-post precedent to say – Let me be the first to address DarkSock’s adroit assertion that I know Shit from Shinola. That is patently untrue. Shinola tastes completely different.
The real truth is, my 2011 federal-works infrastructure bill proposed increasing the Mississippi’s flow, turning whole state into a delta. But delta Airlines opposed me. Why, I have no idea. But when their stewardesses ask “Coffee, Tea or Me?” I choose booze. Because what isn’t solved or disolved with a little alcohol?
Moreover, I wish to make clear that your hysterical views against a democratic vaginoplastic reticulum are unfounded, the deta of venus is one of the greatest places to visit. But I’m glad I don’t live there. Because the dampness, and the flow would remind me of life in Mississippi. Which could be preferable to Canada (stone-cold respect).
In closing, I wish to say “Fuck you all, because I was told there’d be pear”.
I guess these things really do happen in three’s. Skinny D’Amato, Robin Williams and now Lauren Bacall. I forget, was she at the Miami pube shaving festivities?
Robin Williams( Respect) swiftly, putting that choke hold on Matt Damons (Respect) punk ass in GWH along with the rest of his role in that movie was brilliant.
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Robin Williams getting weird and taking a dump in “One Hour Photo” was pretty cool too.
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Going toe to toe with Pacino in “Insomnia” was good stuff.
I get it now.
or
Donald Trump
V. Stiviano
Kanye Kardashian
Bruce Kardashian
Stackhouse
Barney Frank
Nancy Grace
Detroit
Russell Brand
Jimmie Fallon
Jimmy Kimmel
Coco
Guy Fieri
Roseanne Barf
Jeannine Garafalo
Lenny The Box
Mrs. Kroeger’s Prolapse
Working after hours at the office
Light Beer
elevated liver enzymes
Joy Behar
Sherri Sheppard
Sam Sheppard
Barack Obama
Lesbians that look like horses
Horses that look like lesbians
Miley Cyrus
Louis CK
Tosh Point 0
Kevin Nealon
Tracy Morgan
Sugar Sammy
Billy Crystal
Bill Crystal
Billy Connelly
Billy baldwin
Alec Baldwin
All Baldwins
Except Lenny The Box
Betty Bacall was not part of that scene. She and Frank had their thing going on the down low and she never woulda shown her snapper in public around other broads. She was too much of a high class dame for that.
Actually, I don’t give a flying fuck that Robin Williams is dead, and fuck you all for feeling bad about it now.
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Where the fuck was everybody when Williams debuted a new show on CBS last year? Certainly not watching it or supporting him, because it was cancelled after one season.
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Williams has been battling depression and substance abuse throughout his adult life. And now were hearing about how he sought treatment, or enrolled himself in a 12-step program. So…everyone knew he was suffering, but he had to go out and get help himself. And none of you jackoffs treated it very seriously. But now he’s dead, and NOW depression is a big deal. Like how kids have been dealing with bullying for generations and being told by parents just “just ignore it”. But enough bullied kids kill themselves for it to hit the news cycle and NOW bullying is “unacceptable”.
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Look, suicide is not a way of ending the pain. It’s a statement. It’s saying out loud and in a dramatic way as possible so that people will actually take you seriously “hey, I can’t handle with this situation!” Because they weren’t getting the help they needed. All suicidal people need is some HELP dealing with a situation they feel they have no control over.
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Williams needed help, and he couldn’t get enough help by himself. Instead of helping, we all gawked and laughed, taking joy in his successes and mocking his failures.
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Now he’s dead and everybody’s all “what a great man, what an inspiration, what a legend…” etc. etc. Jacking off a dead man is what you’re all doing.
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Too little, too late.
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Besides, only douchebags kill themselves in their own homes leaving it to their family to clean the mess up. Maybe most people don’t know this, but when you hang yourself you shit and cum everywhere. And the paramedics picking up the body don’t clean that crap up. Williams left that honor to those closest to him.
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What a dick.
What Jacques said.
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Did I mention arsenio?
Arsenio? Never heard of her.
I was going to say Hillary but Rev Chad covered that with lesbians that look like horses.
Octomom
license plate readers
bankers
I feel bad that Robbing Williams made $165k per episode for 22 episode for that horseshit show and still had money problems. Boo hoo.
I tried to watch that show. I couldn’t.
Gentlemen, I beseech you to find it in your dogmatic or spiritual selves to give a kind thought towards my old girl. She stinks like cunt and mold. She has been by my side for twenty-five years of good and mostly troubled times.
Eats whatever I may make for her and always listens to what I tell her to do. She sucks my cock and takes it in the poop hole. She has become sedentary and confused in her old age.
.
My dog is like that as well. Dying the slow death of the old dead dog walking. Pray that she dies in her sleep after September 2, her 15th birthday. Depressed Sons. And stooooned at work. Fucking money!
Beseetching is for pussies.
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So Robbing Williams not only was having money problems, he had Parkinson’s. And was depressed. And was a drug user. Fuck him. Nanoo fuckin nanoo my ass. As Jacques said, someone is now scrubbing shit and piss outta some deep pile carpet in Tiburon.
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Although if blow is bad why are Lenny the Box and the Rev Thriving? And by thriving I mean banging Jew Broads asswise.
I don’t think he had money problems, sons.
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“Four months before his tragic death at age 63, Robin Williams put his Napa Valley vineyard estate up for sale. Nicknamed Villa Sorriso, or Villa of Smiles, the sprawling 653-acre property located in the Mayacamas Mountains was listed in April for $29.9 million.”
Nanoose Nanoose…
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Too soon?
^FTW
He was human. We all have our dark sides, our good times, mood swings and quirks. Coping with them and moving on is what separates the suicidal from the non
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I’m always disappointed when iconic geniuses kill themselves. I actually shed a tear of piss when David Foster Wallace and earlier the beautiful, angelic-voiced Brad Delp did it.
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The mind can get sick and until we can get folks to recognize that they have a fixable problem we’ll have our Robins, DFWs and Delps offing themselves instead of wanting more breaths, more heartbeats.
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Patch Adams sucked
^What Vin said. But I dig that Patch Adams chick.
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“The mind is fragile like a little bird,
Flapping its wings and dropping some turd.
If the mind dwells on the turd, the mind goes numb,
And sees itself like the turd, but a only a crumb.
The nimble mind, darting to and fro, like swallows
Wanders…and if in wandering goes too far it follows.
Blindly raging following too long, the mind is lost.
To all it’s such a tragic cost.
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But suicide ails as well as it cures
Those lost dreams and young chicks
Distanced from the conscience with Sweet Death
And used guitar picks.
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The old dog dies surrounded by kin
Paralyzed in diapers, prone on the floor
Comfortable in her failing she breaths peacefully
As she inched closer to never more.
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Never knowing how she saved a tortured soul
A wretched beast as faithful master,
And lived to see his universal peace of mind.
Fuck Gaza!
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Lest us forget our brothers to the south, Carlos has a tight outfit:
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Samba Pa Ti
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And his band isn’t bad either