Wednesday, November 1, 2006

HCwD of the Month

Well, it’s that time of month, and unlike that other time of month that involves you getting yelled at and ice-cream runs, this one is the douche-off of douche-offs. The ultimate ‘bag race. The whole Griecorama.

Yes, it’s the HCwD of the Month contest, where you, the reader, get to determine which pic of douchitude and hotness is truly unique in its combination of utter wrongness. Which pic makes you pick up a golf club and run screaming down the P.C.H. smashing in windows.

Yes, I know. All of them do.

But you have to pick one and only one and cast your vote in the comments section to this thread. Now if you’re too darn lazy to create a profile, you can vote anonymously, but be sure to add your reasons for voting and what tipped the scrote balance in the direction you chose.

HCwD of the Month #1: Disco Pilgrim


It’s definitely rare to find a ‘bag who actually emulates the cleavage on his date. That’s probably what put D.P. over the edge here. Not to mention two of the best legs I’ve seen since seafood night at the Sizzler.

Oh, and those stains on the jeans. What the hell is up with those jeans? I’ve known homeless mutant crack babies on crack who smoke a lot of crack who wear cleaner jeans.

HCwD of the Month #2: Spanky


A lot of confusion sprung up over Spanky’s apparent Arthur Ashe costume in what does not, on any level, appear to be a costume party. The Hendrix bandana doesn’t help his case, nor does his apparently greased up and shaved legs.

Blondie, one of the hottest ever to grace our digital pages, may have put Spanky over the top with her utter hotness. That cleavite is gold medal winning Betty Crocker Bakeoff hot.

HCwD of the Month #3: The Dung Beetle


Wow, I almost forgot about The Dung Beetle here. Now I’m slightly mad at myself that he’s reentered my consciousness on any level. This is one of those “I’d like to jab ice-picks into my face” pics, which if I ever followed through on that threat I’d… well… have jabbed a lot of ice-picks into my face.

Those sunglasses. That snarl. That G.I. Joe Kung-Fu Douche Grip.

And that blond ball of perfection.

It hurts, Johnny. It hurts.

HCwD of the Month #4: Labor Day ‘Bag


This pic is like the Bud Lite of HCwD pics. Or Coca Cola. It almost defines the brand. it’s so hottie/douchey on so many head exploding levels that it’s like the template for all things HC and DB.

The pink hat. The fungle on the face.

And abs I would hunt down and kill a Chilean Sea Bass for.

Megods that’s some hotness and scroteness just way to close for comfort.

This pic just makes me weep for humanity.

So there you have it people. Four shining examples of the best and worst of the HCwD combo. All four deserve our respect and future enshrinement in the Hall of Scrote, but for now they’re facing off against each other in a doucho-a-doucho smackdown event that should be on Pay Per View. So what say you? Which one gets to wear the hallowed crown, the “HCwD of the Month”?

# posted by douchebag1

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