Thursday, December 28, 2006

The Douchies: Hottest Abs

Voting on the general quality of the hotties on this site is a near impossible task. So many gorgeous creatures have revealed their weakness for oily scrote that trying to narrow them down to three is a near impossibility. So rather than attempt a general “hottie” vote (which we’ve tried in the past), I’m going to open up the floor for a debate on the perfection of the female abs.

I’m talking baby back rib abs. The type you want to dip in a nice steak sauce and chew on for a four day weekend. And, of course, we must factor in the other half of the ledger, the power of rank douchebaggery that those abs have chosen to comingle with.

So, without further ado, here are the nominees…

Hottest Abs #1: Ab-solutely Douchulous


I didn’t really give this pic an adequate name the first time around, so this time we’ll go with “Ab-solutely Douchulous.”

Speaking of douchulous, headband ‘bag could’ve been a finalist for spikiest hair with that frosted mop of thorns.

I do sort of appreciate anyone who tacks up a neon “Bud” crown light on their fireplace.

As to abs, she is all that cheers me to a state of perpetual warmth on a cold, cold night.

Hottest Abs #2: The Wigga Clown

Persian Princess has those soft abs with just a hint of definition. Couched in a lightly dusted layer of fat, they are supple, yet firm. Like a tasty pork tenderloin, I would dip in apple sause and serve sizzling hot. It may be a costume pic, but the fact that Halloween continues to be a holiday that allows hotties to let out their inner slut makes it good by me.

Hottest Abs #3: The Scrote Warrior


Here’s a fan fave from back in the day, as this skeezy ‘bag attemps to grab this slender stalk of abaliscious perfection like a sucking pleco fish. I want to feed him algae until he sticks to the side of my fishtank.

She may only be a mid level cutie in the face, but stare at those abs, blink repeatedly for thirty seconds, then stare at a blank wall.

Do you see that?

It’s perfection.

Good thing I don’t have to vote. My first answer to these three pics? Yes, please. But it’s up to you. Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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