Tuesday, December 26, 2006

The Douchies: Spikiest Hair

Here’s another tough category with so many worthy entries. I’ve boiled it down to four of the finest in douche-hair of the past year, and this is another category I’ll be opening up for voting. I have a few categories I’ll just be handing out awards in, because hey, it’s the Douchies not the Oscars.

So fire up the grill and skewer some strip steaks on these frosted tipped douchebag porcupines. Here are the nominees…

Spikiest Hair Douchie Nominee #1: Yet More Cactus Head

This is a classic two-toned ‘bag muscle-t example, complete with ‘bag face expression #02 and two half-drunk and long lost Bleethed out hotties.

But the hair.

Oh man that glorious spiked out hair. It’s like bronze sculpture from the early impressionist period. I half expect Man-Ray to hang it on a wall next to a a Duchamp bicycle wheel. It is douche art.

Spikiest Hair Douchie Nominee #2: Chin o’ Douche

I keyed in on C.O.D.’s chin when I first posted this pic, but now that I look at it again, I can’t believe I didn’t celebrate the shampoo-like swirly genius that is this dark and foreboding winter sea. Melville would have waxed poetic on this hair swirl, oh so long ago. Or, for the gutter humor fans, its like a giant pile of ferret puke.

Not to mention the deadly coral snake coiling around his neck. Add in that lively arc of Cleavite that could even make The Boitano find new ways of double axeling and this pic is all sorts of HCwD head pounding wrongness.

Spikiest Hair Douchie Nominee #3: Purple Lips

This pic really deserves a special award, and I’m still not sure how this monstrosity didn’t make it into a HCwD of the Month winning entry, but it may have had to do with the “HC” side of the ledger. Regardless, Purple Lips deserves a little end of year Douchie Love (and by love I mean “spew”). If he doesn’t win this category I’ll have to give this turd some form of special honor.

Megods.

My eyes hurt like they’ve just run a marathon. Maybe we’ll do a special award here at HCwD, if you can stare at this pic without blinking for twenty seconds, you’ll get a free bottle of Night Train. Okay, no not really. Unless by “Free bottle of Night Train” I mean that I’ll point you towards the local corner store where you can buy your own damn bottle for $1.99 plus deposit.

Spikiest Hair Douchie Nominee #4: Supernova

It’s hard to argue with this slice of all-American douche goodness. Prom night never felt so scrotey. Like a sunflower plant basking in the rays of the Grieco Himself, this blooming ball of ‘baggery has taken his first steps down the dark road of perdition.

Voting, as always, is in the comments thread. And since this is the end of year voting for the 2006 Douchie Awards, voting will be open all week. Winners, and virtual trophies, will be handed out next week.

# posted by douchebag1

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