Monday, January 29, 2007

HCwD of the Week: All-American Hottie Douche Off

There’s no real theme to this week’s selection of hottie/scrote comingling, just the three pics that jumped out at me as the most douche worthy for finalist consideration. Actually there is a semi-theme, which is the All American hotness of the hotties. Three sweet girl next door types. You know, the type that flash their panties and then drive with you to CostCo to see how much the 64 pack of Minute Maid Lite is.

Okay, maybe not. Anyways, without further ado, here are the finalists for the coveted HCwD of the Week:

HCwD of the Week Finalist #1: Douche Vortex

This vaguely Judd Nelson looking uvula isn’t that high on the douche factor, but there are enough budding signs to hint at impending Grieco Virus overload.

Certainly douche-face, creepy ‘bag headlock and of course the greasy forehead all qualify this pud for at least a stage-2 ‘bag status.

And there’s just something about Sally Mae here, or maybe Jenny Lee, that makes me love life more than a six pack of HoHos and a cold glass of vodka spiked milk.

HCwD of the Week Finalist #2: Mega Man

It’s hard to argue with a late 80s videogame classic. Watching Donkey Douche win a couple of weeks ago bodes well for the E! Douche Hollywood Story comeback of Mega Man here.

My only fear is that bizarre facial hair is some form of gang insignia and Mega Man’s going to come and bust a cap in my ass. In which case let me state that Mega Man is a scholar and a gentleman, and I would sip Lapsang Souchong tea with him while reading Beckett.

HCwD of the Week Finalist #3: Doucher’s Delight


I like the French inspired term “Baguette” for this ‘bag that someone suggested in the comments thread.

When it comes down to the meat and potato basis of a great HCwD pic, there’s gotta be both that quivering pile of pud, and an innocent hottie who looks vaguely confused as to how she’s been tackled by such a greasey douche. This pic contains both elements in spades.

It is definitely worthy. And I would suck on hottie’s cheekbones for a fortnight while dancing the African Ant Eater Ritual from “Can’t Buy me Love.”

Special shout-outs to Chin Ass, Flame and Jesus Christ Doucherstar, all of whom just missed the cut. And by “shout-outs,” I mean spew.

Another solid week of submissions, so a red cup of Night Train goes out to the regulars for keeping the steady stream of spew-worthy scrote comingling with sexy-ass hotness coming. If you have a pic of HCwD worthiness, and that means both a steaming turd and a beautiful swan in the same picture, then send it along to me at douchebag1@hotchickswithdouchebags.com. Or simply sit back, tip your cup of Thunderbird, and vote for one of these three finalists of douchebaggery for the HCwD of the Week award.

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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