Wednesday, January 31, 2007

HCwD of the Week: Douche Vortex


Wow, one of the tightest votes in awhile, and by “tightest” I mean “blue panties boobies.” Douche Vortex here barely edged out Baguette for the crown and right to compete in next week’s “HCwD of the Month” contest. Mega Man came in a solid third with decent support as well. I admit I’m surprised, I thought Baguette’s facial pubes and cutie would put him over the top, but the power of the hottie in this case seemed to overwhelm the somewhat pedestrian but still rank douche qualities of The Vortex’s stage-2 Grieco.

Many of the voters were simply overwhelmed by the sexy panty flashing qualities of the tanned cutie enough to overlook the fact that Baguette was wearing two, yep two, hats as Indiana Douche and the Last Douchebag observed. There’s gotta be a special greased up circle in Dante’s cantos for a scrote like that. As bmt puts it:

Vortex’s piece makes we want to walk down the street with my pants down, sucking my thumb. She’s amazing but he’s a pedestrian, run-of-the-mill turd who doesn’t deserve any more recognition than he’s already got. God, that blue triangle down there turns my mind into mush.

As Doc puts it:

Well I think since this has an extra “hotness factor” of the HC, Vortex wins hands down. Both the other two are way bigger DB’s, but the Sally-Mae is WAy Hotter than those other two corn dogs.

But as Mickey O’Douche was quick to counter with:

oh, my douchebrothers, what have we come to? It seems that this week’s criterion for voting simply is that of “does the hottie make me wank”? My brothers, there’s so, so much more that zenmasters such as Douche Lee have taught us, well beyond “wax on, wax off” manuever that is so useful for you wanksters.

Mickey’s case for the choadness of Baguette came up just short. Douchestar runner explains the logic:

The Vortex isn’t off the charts in douchosity, but he has enough classic signs to qualify as a bona-fide ‘bag; the ugly black patterned club shirt, a little bling (earring especially), some hair grease and a headlock. Throw in a chick that’s actually kinda hot and it’s this week’s best combo.

There was some discussion about previous award winners making second appearances. This is a gray area I haven’t quite figured out, I was thinking once a scrote won a contest, they were enshrined on their own and outside future appearances. But then again, subsequent Donkey Douche pics have cemented his legend, so maybe we need to consider having a “Secondary ‘Bag-Off” at some point.

And as to last night’s radio appearance of The DB1 on The Ugly Phil Breakfast Show”, I think it went pretty damn well. Ugly Phil is apparently a douchebag who can acquire many hot chicks, and if I can find a good pic proving this, I will honor him for his interview with a post on this site.

I’ll see if I can get a copy and post the audio if anyone’s interested. As it is, good voting all around! Great comments as always.

# posted by douchebag1

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