Monday, January 8, 2007

HCwD of the Week: YoungBag Edition

I’m not including Black Lung in this week’s contest because of his indeterminate, almost Douche Lee level Zen ambiguity. Not to mention I just can’t take looking at those pics for another go around. Speaking of the Zen Master, Douche Lee also doesn’t need to compete in such trifling contests as the HCwDotW contest. His Holy Essence is above such competition. So he gets an automatic pass to the future Hall o’ Scrote.

As to who’s in this week, there are a bunch of pics from last month during the Douchie Awards, but I tried to limit this week’s contest to a balanced playing field of equal contenders. And by “contenders” I mean spew. That being said, lets get to the nominees:

HCwD of the Week #1: Scrotey Opie


As much as we love to mock scrote, we must also factor in the hottie side of the ledger when making our selects for the coveted HCwDotW award. In the case of Scrotey Opie, the HC side definitely elevates this pic into a contender. Don’t get me wrong, Scrotey Opie deserves heaping tablespoons of scorn simply for modeling the greasiest cheekbone since the Jello Wrestling contest down at the “Yellow Banana.” But it’s definitely Librarian Hottie, which as you all know I have issues about, that elevates this pic into a finalist.

Not to mention that fantastic touch of red bra gives the DB1 nasty fever-dreams. Or it could be the Macallan 18-year I had last night.

HCwD of the Week #2: Sketch


Someone in the comments thread observed the cheesy feathering that was done on this pic, and that’s an interesting meta-dynamic of a HCwD pic that I’d never considered. It actually suggests that someone wanted to preserve this “memory” in a thoughtful and soft nostalgic hue. This image. This one. The one you’re looking at.

I have a few more Sketch pics to run in the next few days, so methinks whether he wins the coveted HCwDotW or not, he’ll enjoy a nice rep on the site for awhile.

HCwD of the Week #3: Popeye

When it comes to core budding douchitude, it’s hard to get past the spikey/pop combo, especially when the pudwacker is making ‘Bag Face #05. Factor in the pollution of a sexy wholesome midwestern “Diane” (see Johnny Cougar’s classic 1981 hit, “Jack and Diane”), and this pic is a worthy finalist as well.

All three of these HCwDotW finalists fall along a similar theme: The YoungBag polluting a hottie that deserves better.

Like a night out with the DB1.

In which I’d treat them to a double-double at “In-n-Out.” Then we’d walk to the nearest 7-11, where I would buy them a four-pack of tasty Hostess Ho-Hos. After that, back to my hovel, where we’d sit on my floor and watch episodes #1-#5 of The Ben Stiller Show (the classic from 1992). Followed by a weekend of my fondling their tennis shoes, wearing a diaper and asking them to spank me with a table tennis paddle. I mean really, what more does a hottie want?

Okay, enough of my Monday morning ramblings. What say you? Who’s the winner this week?

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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