Sunday, February 11, 2007

Celeb Douchebag of the Month: The Kimmelbag


Another candidate for the future ex-Mrs. DB1, the lovely Sarah Silverman just started up her new and hilarious show on Comedy Central. As such I thought it was time to honor her other half with a long deserved Honorary Douchebag of the Month. The Kimmelbag has always verged on the cusp of outright douchebaggery, just nice enough not to cross over, yet manifesting on every program on TV like some Faustian celebrity “fame” contract with the Devil come true.

There is just no known physical universe in which Kimmelbag rises to prominence. None. He is the Michael Bolton of late night talkshows. Inexplicable success, and like the other Michael Bolton observes, is yet another no talent ass clown to achieve cultural supremacy. Kimmel is the Ryan Seacrest of comedy. A ubiquitious, multimedia bland corporate construction of vacuousness. He makes Dane Cook look politically opinionated. He is the celery stick of the vegetable kingdom, no taste, no calories, and looks vaguely green. Frat ‘bag stage-2, just generic enough not to show overt signs of douchebaggery, but annoying enough that his college years must have been filled with ‘bag hand gestures and leering lurker ‘bag bar crawls.

As to the Silverman, what can I say? I’d like her to dress up in red rubber and spank me while singing Prince’s “Darling Nikki.” That’s not weird, is it?

I don’t usually do celeb ‘bags, but watching Kimmelbag score this awesome Jewish princess while flubbing through another late night monologue of Paris Hilton jokes is enough to drive a douchebag to drink.

# posted by douchebag1

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