Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Double Douchey Style


It’s hard coming down off the utter wrongness of Harry Beaver, but a large bowl of Count Chocula just did wonders. Sort of cleaned out the bile and gave me a nice sugar rush.

So there I was, sitting on my couch. Relaxing. Listening to some Curtis Mayfield. When suddenly this pic manifests like some unholy demon creature from the Douche Lagoon.

I can’t even tell what’s going on here. I’m overwhelmed by stench. From Scarface to tonguebags, to the rare Dual ‘Bag Body Slam that hasn’t been choreographed with such precision since the ’72 Scrotlympics, it is a double douchebag smackdown of epic proportions. I can’t tell whether the cuties are too far gone to be saved. I only feel shame for all of us. There is no God.

I want to break out the firehose, fire it at these two unnatural pre-coitus teen abominations, then turn that water gun on myself until the slime is gone from my eyeballs. Which might take awhile.

# posted by douchebag1

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